With the memory of Hector still so clear in her head, Charlee could very easily visualize Hector lying over her, touching her where her fingers touched now. He was sliding in and out of her wetness, not her secret toy she had to hide deep in the box with the other stuff she mailed herself from home.
The idea that this may not be the only pleasure she’d have of this nature ever was no longer an impossible one. It usually took longer than this for her to start trembling when Drew was home, because Charlee was terrified of turning it on for fear her friend would hear it and know just what a freak Charlee really was. But tonight was different. Just closing her eyes and remembering Hector’s kisses so vividly, the way his tongue slid all around like silk in her mouth, her fingers and her toy, even without power, were all she needed.
Burying it deep inside herself just as her entire body began to quiver, Charlee felt the spasms shoot through more intensely than she’d ever had before and struggled to refrain from moaning as she squirmed under her blankets still sliding it in and out. As the spasms slowly calmed, her heart still pounded uncontrollably. She lay there for a moment breathing hard, still thinking about the possibility that one day maybe Hector would do this to her. For so long, she truly believed deep inside that she’d never open up her heart to anyone again. But her urges had always been so insatiable—so much so it was the one thing she never shared with anyone. Not even Drew. She really believed she was destined to only experience this kind of pleasure alone.
***
Even after one of the best damn orgasms she’d experienced to date, Charlee still had lain awake most of the night, thinking of Hector and everything he’d said to her. She should’ve been a zombie this morning. Instead, she felt strangely invigorated. She would’ve liked to say it was the excitement of getting to work with the kids today, something she enjoyed so much. But she knew it was for an altogether different reason.
She’d been almost embarrassed last night to admit to Drew that she’d let Hector kiss her, even after seeing him with those two girls. Of course, Drew not only hadn’t passed judgment she helped reassure Charlee she hadn’t made the biggest mistake of her life. Drew made her promise one thing: if nothing became of it, she wouldn’t let this take her all the way back to that dark place she’d once been.
“People make out at parties all the time, and nothing comes of it, Charlee.” Drew had said then dramatically gasped and added. “Many do way more than just make out too, you know. So please promise me that if this is all it was for him you don’t freak out okay? If, and I’m not saying it will, but if this turns out to be just that, then we’ll go out and celebrate. You got your first time out of the way.”
Charlee agreed, not wanting to argue, but she wondered how many of the people that did stuff like this had to face their one night stands every day. The school chess labs weren’t mandatory every day, but they had to do a lab at least twice a week. Then there was the U.S. team. They met less often, but they’d even be traveling together eventually. Things could get very awkward. She finally decided she wouldn’t do what she normally did and worry about something that hadn’t even happened yet.
Last night, Drew had watched her very closely as Charlee gave her the blow by blow of her make-out session with Hector. Well, Charlee’s version of the blow by blow. She’d kept a few things to herself, like how incredibly aroused she’d been. She’d never felt anything like it. Finally she understood what the big deal about sex was, and she hadn’t even had the real thing yet. Last night had been just a precursor, and it’d been amazing.
She really should slow down with the fantasies. Charlee should be happy that they were not so farfetched anymore. Even now, she could still easily close her eyes and vividly remember, not just imagine anymore what it felt like to be kissed by him, feel his tongue on her neck, making the most private of places tingle in reaction. But as much as she promised Drew she’d take it all in stride, things had already changed. Even after last night under her blankets, her fantasies had also gone now from the most sexual in nature to replaying his words and the look in his eyes when he’d said them to her over and over in her mind.
“Trust me, Charlotte. I know you’re different. So different. So sweet.”
Hearing the sound of her own name had never left her so breathless. But the most breathtaking of all, and she closed her eyes once again to relive it, was his telling her she was beautiful. Only one other guy had ever said that to her before, and she’d thought for sure he’d ruined that compliment forever. But she’d been so wrong. Hearing Hector say it had been completely different. She’d seen the sincerity in his eyes—felt it in his kisses.
“Charlee?”
“Um hmm?” She didn’t open her eyes in response to Drew, simply continued to picture Hector’s intense eyes looking deep into hers when he’d spoken to her.
“Please tell me you’re just resting your eyes because you’re tired and that lovesick smile on your face isn’t what it looks like.”
Charlee opened one eye and glanced at Drew who was driving. “It’s not.”
She closed her eye again, hating that she was cursed with a best friend who was so damn discerning. The girl never missed a thing. It was a wonder Drew hadn’t foreseen last year’s debacle before it happened.
The rest of the day, Charlee managed to keep her mind on her volunteer duties for the most part. It wasn’t too hard. They kept her busy. But inevitably, she’d find herself daydreaming and even feeling her body quiver at times with thoughts of Hector’s kisses and the mesmerizing way he gazed at her all night—that amazing smile.
Of course, each time she’d fall too deeply into it, Drew had caught her, and each time she seemed a little more concerned about Charlee getting her hopes up too high. Drew’s subtle reminders that Hector hadn’t asked for Charlee’s number and that he’d shown up with two girls, began to get annoying.
Charlee didn’t even bother trying to explain what he’d said about how the girls had just so happened to show up at the same time he’d been ready to walk in. She knew it would only further Drew’s worrying because it would sound as if Charlee were making excuses for him already. The fact remained, whether he’d showed up with them or not, that it didn’t take from what they’d seen him do with those same two girls last week: the very thing he’d done with Charlee last night at the gym, except he’d clearly done much more with them since those girls had gone home with him.
The whole day had been a roller coaster of emotions. Charlee would begin to scold herself for getting so carried away when it could very well have been just a onetime thing for him, something he probably did all the time. She was sure he wasn’t obsessing about it today like she was. More than likely, he had plenty of plans with other girls this weekend already.
With that thought in mind, she’d move on to convincing herself that if that was the case she’d be fine and would not freak out. She’d be stupid to fall apart again when she should be thankful like Drew said to have gotten her first onetime make out with a guy out of the away. And of all guys to have gotten it out of the way with, it had been Hector. She’d be happy that she got to at least experience what it felt like to be kissed by him, especially after fantasizing about it for so long.
Remembering his kisses would only take her full circle again, replaying the way he’d stared at her all night, the possessive way he’d held her on the dance floor, how he’d held her face in his hands, and those kisses. How in the world could she just shrug away such an amazing experience? The most amazing experience she’d had with a guy ever. And she’d be back to square one, worrying that there’d be no way she’d get over this as easily as Drew thought she could or should.
As much as she tried to convince herself it was just an infatuation with him, that she didn’t know him well enough or even remotely enough to be so hung up on him this soon, she knew better. She’d been in tears after what happened on Thursday at their chess meeting, and he hadn’t even touched her.
By the end of the day, she was spent. She’d gone full circle with this whole thing more times than she cared to think about anymore. All she could do now is wait and hope that, worst case scenario, she’d be strong enough to deal with it and get over it faster than the last time she’d been crushed.