Chapter 61: Franny-2

I laugh. "You're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be." Tyler turns his head to me. "You got into a college, didn't you?" I turn my head and meet his stare with a questioning look. "How did you . . . " "You're not as much of an enigma as you make yourself out to be," Tyler says. "If we had to go somewhere to talk then it was that you got into a college or you were breaking up with me." A crease darkens his face. "Or both." I shake my head quickly. "Not both, not both. I don't want to break up with you, ever. I just . . . yeah, I got into a college." "Shouldn't you be happy?" He chuckles. "Don't look so sad about it." "It's in California," I say, and Tyler looks away for a moment. The only sound is the rustling of trees and the odd car driving past on the road nearby. I turn and look back up at the sky, the clouds darkening the day and making everything grey. "A different state," Tyler says finally. I nod. "A different state." "How do you feel about that?" I huff out a laugh. "Jesus, Ty, you're not my therapist." "Sorry." He smiles. "But seriously, a new state is a big step." "That's what I'm worried about," I say. "You'll be fine," Tyler says. "Things always work out." Fine. I smile tightly. "Yeah, there's nothing to worry about. I'm overthinking things." Something doesn't sit right. I lie there with the wind picking up and the air turning cold and know that this wasn't what I expected. I thought his reaction would be different. Having Tyler open to the idea of me going to college in another state is what I wanted, but for him to be one hundred percent onboard immediately feels off. It feels like he doesn't care as much as I thought. I know it's wrong the second it crosses my mind, but the thought is still there, hovering in the background. Maybe this was all he really wanted. For the relationship to get this far and then disband and break away into the air. Perhaps everything with Carl has become too much. If I'm constantly struggling, trying to wrap my head around what happened, what I see and what I have to keep seeing for the rest of my life, then maybe it's the same or even worse for Tyler. Seeing me could just be a constant reminder. Maybe he's relieved that our relationship might not be able to keep going. "Don't give me up so easily," I whisper, almost to myself. I hear Tyler sigh before he kisses my shoulder through my jacket. "I'll always fight for you." *** Prom dress shopping has never been something I've thought too much about. I always knew that it would be a last-minute thing, and that I'd have to try to keep it all under one hundred dollars. I had expected by now that Tally would have her dress, locked away since October. Instead I find her in a mad panicked rush trying to find the perfect lump of fabric. "Green's really not my color," she mutters as she turns her body back and forth in front of the large mirror. She's drowning in shiny, green material and I immediately know that if she doesn't take it off, I'll destroy the dress myself. "I mean if you like it . . . " I start. "I hate it," Tally sighs. "Oh, thank God, because it's horrible," I laugh. Tally throws her hands up. "It looked nice on the mannequin." "You're thinking too out of the box," I say. "Just wear what you know looks good." Tally nods her head and begins walking to the changing room. "I expect you to be in a dress when I get out," Tally says. I shift on the little chair I'm sitting on and frown. "Fine, but I'm not looking to buy today." "Prom is literally around the corner," Tally says. "Stop ruining the mood and just try a damn dress on." She disappears behind a curtain and I yank myself up off the chair. I walk around the room, hand gliding over dresses, some shrouded in plastic covers, and some not. My eyes look over all the colors until I find a set that is more muted and bland. I immediately hover over a blush-colored dress with lace covering the top half. I internally roll my eyes at myself when my stomach does an excited little dip. The woman who helped out Tally walks past and I quickly get her attention. "Can I try this on?" Two giant clips, no bra, and little dignity later, I walk out from behind the curtain to stand in front of the mirror. Light pink fabric falls from my waist, while my torso and chest are bound with lace. I turn from side to side like Tally did and begin to smile a little bit. Tally comes out from behind another curtain and walks up beside me, dressed in a golden gown that hugs her figure until it flares at the bottom. "I think you may have found your dress," Tally says. "Same to you," I reply. I take everything in; the room, the timing, the dress, and how suddenly it is all coming down on me. I stand in front of the mirror and smile, yet my heart is racing a million miles an hour and my skin feels hot. Tally grins and I try to grin back, but all I can think about is how real this all suddenly feels.