Chapter 14

Steven stood silently across the room and watched Rachel sitting on the bed holding the boy’s hand. If it were possible, he looked smaller and more frail since the treatment started. His skin was pale, almost that deathly gray shade. The child hadn’t opened his eyes or moved for the two hours she’d sat there with him.

“Why do they have him in here alone?” Rachel asked quietly without turning her head.

He walked over and stood behind her resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “The treatment removes his immunity, he’s isolated to prevent exposure to colds or viruses. Being infected at this point, when his body has no defense, could be lethal.”

She leaned over to brush the hair off the child’s brow. “I’d like to stay for a while more, in case he wakes up so he gets to see a friendly face.”

He nodded. “I have a few things I need to do in my office, the paperwork is never ending. Come and get me when you’re ready to go.” He kissed the top of her head and walked out, grabbing up Ricky’s chart on his way by.

Steven sat in his office and studied them. It didn’t need to be his specialty to understand what he was reading. Sighing, he picked up the phone and had the nurses’ station page his friend and colleague that he’d referred Ricky to.

The phone rang a few minutes later. “O’Reily.”

“Steve, its Don.”

“Thanks for getting back to me in record time.” He glanced at the chart again. “I was looking in on the patient I sent to you.”

“Ricky. I figured I’d be hearing from you. Is there a personal interest here, Steve?”

Steven rubbed his forehead. “The woman I’m seeing is one of the volunteers that helps with the foster programs.”

The doctor on the other end sighed. “Then I wished I could tell you I feel positive. I’ve been treating him for, almost four days now. It was well advanced into it when we started, Steve, you have to know that. It’s hitting him hard. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Steven closed his eyes. “I had pretty much realized this, just wanted to call and get your gut feeling on this really.”

Another sigh. “Well as you and I both know, things can turn around with little or no warning sometimes, so we’ll hold on to that.” He cleared his throat. “I stopped administering treatment today until he regains some ground, and then we’ll start again slowly. I’ll keep you up to date.”

Steven nodded to no one. “Appreciate it, Don, thanks.” He hung up and flipped the chart closed. He needed to talk to someone, anyone at this point. He grabbed the phone. Hovering over the keypad of the phone he thought. Dade wouldn’t be much comfort right now. He dialed Chris’s number.

“Kasey, its Steven. Is Chris handy?”

“Is everything all right?”

He could feel her worry through the phone. “I’ll get back to you on that, Kase. I just need to talk to Chris for a minute.”

“Okay,” she said quietly.

Chris came on the other end a few seconds later. “Doc?”

“Yeah. Sorry to call, hope I didn’t interrupt. I need help, councilor.”

“With?”

Steven noticed Chris’s lawyer tone took over. “Ah shit! I don’t know, a miracle would be a great start.”

Chris hissed out a breath. “Are you still at the hospital with Rachel?”

“Yeah, I’m hiding in my office debating on praying, she’s still in with Ricky. Chris it’s not good. I just spoke to the colleague that’s handling Ricky’s treatment he’s not holding his breath for remission right now.”

“Shit.”

He heard Kasey’s voice in the background. “I don’t know what I’m asking for. I guess healing is not your strength huh?” He rubbed his forehead again.

“No, it’s not. We leave the healing to you.”

“Well my bag of tricks is coming up short on this one. Using magic for something like this never works, I know, I’ve tried it in the past. Fuck, Chris this is going to kill her.”

Chris sighed. “I can get Kase to charge up some stones, I’ll even add something to them, but sometimes things just have to be.”

Steven nodded and cursed under his breath. “I know, better than most. I better go check on them.”

“Keep in touch.”

“Yeah.” He hung up. Grabbing the chart, he headed back out the door.

She wasn’t in the room with Ricky. He checked the monitors briefly and put his chart back in the pocket by the door then went to go find her.

Rachel stood in front of the newborn nursery. Her hand resting against the glass and she smiled in at the tiny bundles of blue and pink. His heart pounded and he swallowed a lump in his throat. It was in that moment as he watched her looking at those babies with a soft smile that he realized that’s what he wanted.

He’d always wanted Rachel, that wasn’t the surprise. But right now, at this moment he wanted to see her smile that way at her own child, their own child. His eyes ran over her body. She’d be so gorgeous with a rounded tummy nurturing a new life. He swallowed again and took a shaky breath. As if sensing him she turned her head.

“Hi.” She said softly. “I was getting all worked up in there. I didn’t want him to open his eyes and see me like that, so I thought I’d take a stroll.” She turned back and glanced through the glass. “That’s when I discovered these little gems.”

Walking up behind her, he put his hands lightly on her waist and pulled her back to rest against him.

“They’re so special,” she whispered.

He stroked a hand down her arm. “They are. I still feel it when I help bring one into the world.”

“Did you help with any of these?”

He grinned. “Several, as a matter of fact. There’s only about six of us that still deliver here.” He lowered his head closer to her and pointed through the glass. “See that big guy over there? He came out without a sound then looked up at me as if to say, ‘whoa where’d you come from?”

Rachel laughed softly and squeezed his hand by her waist. “Besides having every child patient love you, you get to look up a lot of gowns, Doctor.”

“Yes, I do and it’s a good thing I can turn the man off when the doctor takes over. Could you see Dade as a doctor?”

“He’d be in jail.” She turned and looked up at him. “Thank you, you always make it better.”

Steven smiled down at her and fought to pull her into his arms. “Wouldn’t be much of doctor if I couldn’t make things better, now would I?”

“I’m just going to see if Ricky’s awake and then I’m going home to have a nice long hot soak, alone.”

“Damn, angel, how am I going to go home and rest with that image?”

She grinned and turned back towards the window for a moment then headed back in the direction of Ricky’s room.

Rachel sat in the car silently beside him. Taking a deep breath, she spoke in a whisper. “As soon as Ricky is able to sit up without throwing up, I want you to help me get him out of there for an hour or so to take him to the park.”

“Okay.”

“I did some research on the internet the other night. They’re not looking for bone marrow matches.”

Steven glanced at her to see dry eyes and determination. “He has to be more stable with the treatment. I can suggest to Don to start the screening for donors.” He knew he was reaching to find some way to console her.

“Yes. Do that.”

“I spoke to Chris earlier. He and Kasey are going to charge some stones to take to the hospital for him.”

She nodded and looked out the window. “Well, Kasey’s magic certainly won’t hurt, will it?” Looking down at her hands, she flexed them. “I feel so useless, Steven. I have a rare gift, a power, we all do and yet when it really matters, when it could really make it all worth it… it’s useless.”

He reached over and squeezed her hand as he pulled in the driveway. He couldn’t say anything. What was there to say, he understood better than most exactly what she was saying. Turning off the car, he turned toward her. “Do you want me to come in?”

She looked down at their clasped hands. “Please.”

Steven sat with her on the couch. Rachel had her legs across his, leaning into his chest. He held her tightly and stroked his hand down her back in a slow caress. She leaned back and looked at him, tears forming in her eyes.

Rachel shook her head but didn’t speak. Leaning back against him, he felt her body tremble with the silent sobs. He closed his eyes and silently cursed his abilities, cursed any god he could think of. She sobbed against his chest and tightened her arms. Resting his head on hers he held her, never feeling more useless than he did at that moment.

Opening his eyes, he saw Cora and Dade standing in the kitchen doorway. Cora had her hand over her mouth and tears rolling down her cheeks. Dade had his arm around her and was speaking softly against her ear.

He looked at Dade and felt the tears in his own eyes. Dade just looked back at him as he pulled Cora into his arms and backed into the kitchen, closing the door.

When Rachel had exhausted her grief, he picked her up and carried her to her room. Placing a blanket over her he stood and looked down at her swollen eyes and tear-streaked face. He’d never felt more for her than he did right at this moment. Dropping his head, he turned and walked from the room.

Cora stood at the bottom of the stairs her reddened eyes looking at him.

“If she wakes up, can you make her some calming tea?”

She nodded. “I’ll look after her.”

Putting his hands in his pockets, he glanced over at Dade and then down to the floor. “Unless you know some cure I don’t, we’re going to lose him and with him, part of Rachel.”

Cora placed a shaking hand over her mouth and looked at Dade. Dade stepped to her quickly and hugged her into him. He looked over at Steven. “We’ll all be here for her.”

Steven nodded a few times then straightened up. “I have to go back to the hospital, call me, and keep an eye on her for me?”

Dade nodded. “We will.”

He stood there for a moment, then turned and went out the door quietly.

Steven sat on his couch and stared at the ceiling. His stomach was in knots and every muscle in his body tense, despite the way he was slumped down. Pain flashed through him as he recalled what he’d told Dade and Cora, they were going to lose her. He’d said a part of her, but to him even a part was too much. Any part of Rachel was a part he loved, a part he wasn’t willing to give up. He closed his eyes and tried to reason a way of changing this. “I need you, angel. All of you whole and complete,” he whispered to the empty room.

The churning inside of him increased and he clenched his jaw, not knowing how to fix this.

He shot up and was glancing around the room. Something was wrong. He didn’t know what, he just felt it. His cell phone ringing pierced the silence and made him jump. He answered it quickly.

“Steven?” Cora’s panicked voice was on the other end.

He was already heading towards the door. “What is it?”

“I-I don’t know what she’s doing, but I can’t even get near the bedroom door…”

“I’m on my way.” He started to hang up the phone. “Call Chris, I might need help.”

Grabbing his keys, he flew out the door.

Cora stood in the doorway as he pulled into the driveway. Steven jumped from the car and ran towards her. As he reached her, he noticed the way she was hunched forward, obviously in pain. “What’s happening?”

He took her arm and pulled her inside and closed the door. She shook her head. “I don’t know. She’s doing some sort of spell, but I can’t even get close to the door.” She grasped his arm. “I can barely make it up the stairs, Steven. You have to get to her, stop her.”

“You stay down here.” Steven turned and headed towards the stairs. He didn’t need to ask her what she felt, as he could feel the strong waves of darkness pushing harder against him with each step he took.

What could she possibly be doing that held this kind of force? He knew the answer as soon as he finished the thought. She was making a soul penance in exchange for Ricky’s health. A gust of anguish shoved against him as he forced his legs to keep going towards the bedroom.

Stopping momentarily to try and take a deep breath as the air crushed against his lungs and threatened to overtake him. Nothing was stopping him from reaching Rachel. Nothing!

He clenched his jaw and raised his hands against the swirling power. Picturing her inside needing him gave him more than enough strength to shove it back. A picture on the wall rocked with the force and crashed to the floor. He stepped over it and glared at the door that held her from his vision. “Rachel!”

He knew she probably couldn’t hear him, knew because years before when the emotions of losing patients threatened to ruin him, he’d tried to make a bargain to keep someone from passing. The price was too high in the end, and he’d stopped. Part of him knew she wouldn’t stop, she would succeed and he couldn’t live with that.

Shoving his power towards the door, he managed to rock it. He didn’t know if he had enough strength to get through it. Fear swamped him and it held him there, unmoving for moments more than he should have let it. As he raised his head again and felt a rush of steady power flow over him and without turning knew Chris had arrived. Objects flew past him and the noise of the rushing wind howled around him. Chris was not only here, but he was pissing off the force Rachel brought there.

“You have to do it!”

Over the noise, he was barely able to hear Chris yelling only a few feet behind him. Steven hesitantly turned his head away from the door and looked over at Chris kneeling on the floor with his hand held out towards him. His hair was blowing as he held onto the railing with his other hand straining to hold his position at the top of the stairs.

“It won’t let me any closer, Steven! You can get through it.” Each word Chris said sounded as if he were in pain.

It took a few seconds for him to understand but he finally realized what Chris was saying. Because it was Rachel doing it, Steven was somehow protected, but it would eat Chris alive if he pushed any further. He nodded and looked back at the door. A resolve passed over him, he was not giving up Rachel.

Raising both hands towards the door, he placed one foot behind to brace himself against the incredible force the energies had. Clenching his jaw, he allowed the fear and anger run through him, gathering strength he was going to need. He felt his hands shake with an energy that should have frightened him. Ignoring it, he focused on the doorknob and watched as it began to shake.

Another rush of power hit him as he felt Chris trying to help him again. The doorknob snapped and dropped to the floor. Taking a deep breath, he rushed forward and smashed his side against the door. It opened, pushing against him so he had to fight to move past it and enter the room. The forces from the spell being cast were suffocating him. He took shallow breaths trying to find enough oxygen.

Moving from the door, it slammed shut, sending him flying against the wall. In the center of the room Rachel knelt, her eyes closed in concentration, her lips moving in a silent chant. She held her hands over a black dish on the floor; he gazed on her for a few more seconds and then looked at the items in front of her. He had been right, the symbols on the floor, the incense, and the other tools lying in there all pointed towards what he’d feared.

She knelt there, oblivious to the danger around her as objects in the room swirled around her, closer than he was comfortable with.

Gasping, he caught his breath once more and fought to think of a way to break what she had begun. Dark smoke swirled around her, he wasn’t going to stand there and see if it was getting closer.

“Rach…” A blast of wind hit him and knocked his breath out of him. Wind. He straightened slowly and scowled at the dark mist circling the woman he loved. He was not going to stand there and watch her bind her life force with that for anyone, himself included.

Fighting to move closer he raised both hands away from his body and focused on the air in the room. He controlled air and wasn’t going to allow some lurking spirit to tell him otherwise. Sweat soaked his brow as he stared at the objects moving around the room. They had slowed, but weren’t going to stop completely.

“Rachel! This is not the answer.” he shouted over the racket.

Her head popped up and she opened her eyes and gave him a shocked look. “I have to,” she growled.

Grinding his teeth, he took another step towards her. “You can’t! It won’t work. What’s meant to be will happen, no matter what you sacrifice. You know this!”

Rachel glared at him and raised her hands over the dish once more.

Anger swamped him, flooding into every pore of his body as the wind that had been whipping against him stopped abruptly. Items clattered to the floor. The darkness hovered over Rachel, waiting to see if it should continue.

Holding his breath, he swatted a hand towards it and watched as it was shoved towards the ceiling before it dissipated and vanished completely.

Rachel gasped. “You had no right…”

In three strides, he crossed to her and reached down to pull her to her feet. She scrambled up and stepped away from him. “I had every right,” he croaked with a tight throat.

The door slammed open and smacked against the wall. Chris leaned against the doorframe looking like he had just run a marathon. His hair was all over the place and his shirt was ripped in several places. He panted, trying to catch his breath as he looked from one to the other. Sending Rachel an exasperated look, before he slowly turned back to Steven. “I’ll be downstairs.” His expression told Steven. Rachel was his problem to handle.

Steven glanced behind him to see Cora and Kasey also standing there looking frightened. “I’ll be down shortly.”

Chris nodded and turned away.

Steven waited until he was sure he’d taken the women with him and then turned back to Rachel. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?”

She huffed out a breath. “I don’t care.”

He moved towards her. “I am not going to stand back while you do something that reckless…”

A book hurled towards him from across the room. Ducking quickly, he turned to watch it slam into the wall behind him and drop to the floor. He looked back and gapped at her. Two more books flew at him. He lifted his hand and batted them in the other direction with a slap of magic. “Stop it!”

Taking a deep breath, he closed the distance between them again and grasped her arms so she couldn’t lift her hands and bounce something off his face. “Stop,” he whispered. She stood there, vibrating with emotion, and glared at him. His heart jerked in his chest to see the anguish in her eyes. “Nothing you cast is going to change the outcome, angel.” He cautiously released her arms and ran a shaking hand over her hair. “Sacrificing yourself isn’t going to win him a full recovery.”

Rachel started shaking. “I can’t give him up, not without a fight.” He pulled her gently into his arms and held her.

“You can’t win that way.” He lifted her chin so she would look up at him. “I’ve tried.”

He stood there and waited for the questions, not knowing if he could give the explanations she’d want, but her eyes just studied his for a long silent moment.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He didn’t like hearing defeat in her voice, but couldn’t help the elation he felt knowing she wasn’t going to risk herself again. “I’m trying.”

She inhaled sharply and shook her head. “I’m not blaming you.” She reached up and touched his face. “I know you’ll do everything possible, Steven. Don’t ever think anything else.”

Steven searched her eyes briefly, seeing what he needed to see. She hadn’t lost faith in him. Lowering his head, he brushed his mouth over her quickly, knowing if he did anything other than that, they’d be interrupted by the others that stood downstairs waiting to hug and reprimand her, probably not in that order.

When he lifted his head again, she looked nervous. “How much trouble am I in?”

He smirked at her.

“Who all is down there?” She bit her lip.

He glanced towards the door. “I have no idea, but you may get your bottom spanked for this stunt.”

“It’s not too late to climb out the wind…”

Grabbing her, he tossed her over his shoulder and turned towards the door. “Oh no, angel, you’re going down there and face this head on.”

Rachel squirmed to push herself off his shoulder. “Will you accept bribery?”

“Not a chance.”

“Damn,” she muttered.