My mind stayed on Michelle all through the drive back home. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind. The scared look in her eyes, the way she stared deep into empty spaces, and the undeniable timidity she exuded. It made me feel like there was something troubling her deeply yet somehow she managed to keep it all inside.
Stop thinking about her for crying out loud! And so what if she's going through a hard time? Everyone has problems. It's life. I shook my head violently in an attempt to expel her from my mind.
“Focus on your own shit." I said rubbing a palm across my face as I yawned in exhaustion.
That night I struggled to sleep but her chocolate brown eyes kept popping up inside my head. The deep sadness within her eyes bore into my soul. Everytime I shut my eyes she was all I could see. It was starting to feel like I was losing my mind.
“What sort of witchcraft is this?" I moaned, rolling on the bed restlessly.
My body wanted to sleep. It needed sleep but my mind wouldn't cooperate. She was beautiful of course but there were other girls out there that were angelic beings compared to her. There was nothing special about her and yet—
Somehow I managed to get a little rest and woke up early feeling irritable. My body protested letting me know I hadn't gotten enough sleep but there was nothing I could do about it. I had to be at the office.
I stumbled through the office doors, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. The restless night had left me feeling like crap, my usual charm dampened by a relentless haze of fatigue. As I made his way towards my office, the weight of the world seemed to press down upon me, burdening my every step.
Pushing open the door, I was shocked to find Valerie swiveling casually on my chair, a playful smile dancing across her lips. Her presence only heightened my annoyance. I felt like a bomb about to go off. "What are you doing here, Valerie?" I snapped, unable to mask the anger in his voice.
Valerie, oblivious to my obvious irritation, leaned in closer, her eyes glowing mischievously. She flirted without a hint of shame, her words laced with an undeniable magnetism.
“Hey handsome." Her eyes twinkled. "I thought I'd drop by and surprise you. Maybe help ease some of that pent up frustration.”
As tempting as she sounded, I was having none of it. I'd come to my office seeking solitude, not to engage in playful banter. With a dismissive wave of my hand, I muttered, "I'd prefer to be alone right now. Please go."
"C’mon now, Vinnie.” She said, pushing her chest out. My eyes wandered off for a moment across her exposed cleavage and I noticed she had popped open a few many buttons. “Don't be like that." She added.
“I'm not in the mood, Valerie. Get your ass out of my seat and leave!"
The sting of my words lingered in the air as Valerie's smile froze for a brief moment. She looked like she was about to say something but my pent-up frustration bubbled over. "Leave," I barked, my voice overflowing with anger.
My outburst startled Valerie, her eyes wide with surprise and hurt. My sudden rage had caught me off guard too.
Without a word, Valerie shuffled on her feet and ran out of the office crying. I wasn't in the mood for her overly dramatic displays but somehow I'd gotten it regardless. I knew who to blame as I walked out of the office and stopped in front of my secretary's desk.
“Why did you let her in?" I growled angrily.
She turned to face me and flinched immediately at the harshness of my words. She looked like a fly that had wandered too close to the light. The frightened look on her face irritated me more.
“I pay you to do your job which is keeping people out not letting them in. Next time you might as well invite the whole of New York in and throw a friggin’ party while you're at it." I took a breath. “Goddamnit!"
I left her shaking and walked back into my office, banged the door shut, and sat behind my desk.
As the echoes of my outburst faded, I took a moment to collect myself and though it had seemed like an impossible feat, I relaxed. I recognized that my temper had gotten the better of me, and guilt began to gnaw at my consciousness. Realizing my mistake, I sighed deeply, the strain of the morning's events etched across my face.
Summoning my secretary with a gentle beep, I asked for a cup of coffee, hoping the warmth and aroma would soothe the turmoil within me. Moments later, I heard a knock on my door. She entered, the steaming cup held between her trembling hands. My eyes softened as I took the cup gratefully. I knew I had been wrong to go off at her the way I had.
I inclined my head, mustering the words I knew I owed her. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice laced with remorse. "I should have never taken my frustration out on you. It was uncalled for."
I took a breath and added, "Unprofessional.”
She accepted my apology with a gentle smile. "It's alright, sir. I'm sorry for being incompetent," she replied, her tone bearing understanding and forgiveness.
Taking a sip of the now lukewarm coffee, I felt a glimmer of peace wash over me. The calming effect of the coffee was just what I needed.
She bowed and was about to leave when I stopped her. There was one thing I needed her to do. One thing I couldn't avoid anymore if I was going to keep my peace of mind intact.
“There's something I need you to help me with." I said, selecting my words carefully.
“Anything, sir." She responded with a cheerful smile.
“The new cleaner— Michelle. Tell her I need to see her.”