Chapter 31
It's rare to have a weekend, so I slept in really late.
The whole household probably knows that Levi asked me out for dinner tonight.
Indigo's been telling everyone there's no need to cook dinner - Mr. and Mrs. Morgan are going out for a romantic candlelit dinner.
Celestia's also happily saying the three of us will have a nice family dinner together.
I'm a bit surprised by Levi's sudden invitation. Our relationship is already on the verge of falling apart - what's he trying to do now?
Is it to thank me for helping the company out the other day?
That's really not necessary.
Still, I've been in a pretty good mood all day.
I've transformed a corner of the backyard into my own little space. I come here to draw whenever I have free time. Levi hardly pays attention to what goes on at home, so he doesn't know about it.
The household staff all have their own things to do and don't gossip about us. Except for Indigo, no one knows about my secret garden.
I've been drawing here for most of the day. The company's winter collection is on the agenda now.
The designers have been brainstorming lately, too. We need to compete and pick the best designs to bring to market.
I can't have special privileges just because I'm the company president. Nola's absolute support can't be my get-out-of-jail-free card either.
I have to create convincing work. Otherwise, I won't bring substandard stuff to take up company resources.
If everything goes smoothly, that will be my first real step toward meeting everyone.
As evening approaches, the last rays of sunset shine through the window. I put down my pen, and my thoughts seem to drift back to those youthful years.
In those days without Mom, only blank sheets of paper kept me company. I could only keep drawing to avoid missing her so much.
The alarm goes off, pulling me back to reality.
It's time to meet Levi as planned. My feelings are complicated. I even have a tiny bit of hope - if Levi has feelings for me, could I try to drop the idea of divorce?
It's not that I'm bitter about all these years of effort - I really do love him.
When Aiden brought me home and paid for my education, how could I not be drawn to someone as brilliant as Levi? I admired him, respected him, had a crush on him...
I walk while looking at the flowers in the garden - they're still bright and beautiful even in autumn.
"Mrs. Morgan, the driver's waiting. Don't drive yourself today." Indigo helps me put on my coat.
"Mom, just relax today, okay?"
Celestia hopes I can enjoy this rare moment of peace.
In all these years, this is the first time Levi has formally asked me out to dinner. Everyone seems to take it even more seriously than I do.
So I happily accept.
I get in the car with Celestia. I should treasure these days when the three of us are together.
We arrive at the agreed location at the agreed time.
At the restaurant entrance, I see Levi's driver.
When he sees us coming, there's actually a hint of panic on his face.
He's one of the few people who knows about my relationship with Levi.
"Mrs. Morgan, you're here."
I nod at him. "Is he here yet?"
"Mr. Morgan... he's... here..."
The driver stammers, like something's not right.
"Then we'll head in."
I take Celestia's hand and walk through the door. A server guides us all the way to a private room upstairs.
But before we even reach the door, I hear a familiar and disgusting voice.
"Levi, I really didn't know you were here. I'm just having dinner with friends. That's our understanding, right?"
"Levi, are you unhappy that I'm here? Don't you want to have dinner with me?"
"Levi, who did you invite?"
Jessa keeps asking questions. Levi doesn't answer her.
Celestia walks to the door first. "Auntie Jessa, what are you doing here?"
When Jessa sees Celestia, she puts on a smile. "Levi, so, it's Celestia. That's fine then - she won't mind me being here."
"Right, Celestia? Can I have dinner with you guys?"
Celestia pouts. "But Daddy invited Mommy and me."
When Jessa sees me, her expression suddenly changes. The smile on her face disappears instantly. She can't think of a perfect excuse right away.
Levi stands up and gestures for me to come in and sit, but I speak first.
"Are you two trying to make me sick?"
Knowing I hate Jessa, knowing we have so much bad history between us, why would he let Jessa show up here?
"Blair, what are you talking about? We're completely innocent."
"Innocent?"
I'm about to lose control, but remembering Celestia is beside me, I instinctively cover her eyes. I don't want Celestia to see something dirty.
I came here with a sincere heart, only to find it's another farce.
"Celestia, Mommy will take you somewhere else. Your daddy and Auntie Jessa have things to discuss."
I'm still covering for them, hoping Celestia will understand they just have business to discuss over a simple dinner.
"Mommy, can I have ice cream?"
"Yes."
I practically drag Celestia downstairs. I don't want to wait for Levi's explanation, and I don't want to hear it. The facts are right in front of me.
This was his initiative - how much longer were he and Jessa going to make me sick?
Tears have already rolled down to the corner of my mouth. I don't wipe them away. I'm afraid one movement will let Celestia discover my weakness.
I'm afraid that if she asks why Mommy is crying, I won't know how to answer.
"Mommy, Auntie Jessa must be talking business with Daddy. Didn't they say Daddy sponsored her before?"
"Mm."
Right now, whatever Celestia asks me, I can only give simple answers. A few more words and I might break down.
The driver sees us come out and chases after us.
"Mrs. Morgan, do you need me to drive you home?"
"No need."
I pull Celestia along, walking aimlessly down the street. At this moment, that feeling of being helpless and alone comes back. I, Blair, can handle anything, but I can't bear to let my daughter lose her father's love at such a young age as I did.
But Levi, why do you keep hurting me, and with Jessa no less...
"Mommy, there's an ice cream shop over there."
Celestia stops and tugs at me.
Only then do I pull myself out of anger and loneliness.
"Let's go get some."
I put on a smile. I need to hide all the negative energy. I can't let Celestia think I'm an unhappy mom.
No matter what, I have to let Celestia grow up healthy and happy.
"Mommy, I want a large one today. Don't say anything about it being cold, okay?"
"Okay, okay, okay."
I feel like I'm becoming a split personality. I don't know if one day I'll lose track of who I really am.
On one hand, I want Celestia to think I'm fine. On the other hand, I can't help thinking back to Levi and Jessa - what are they doing now?
Are they happily raising their glasses and drinking together?
Are they happy that I left?