Chapter 28
Each autumn rain brings a chill. Levi came back soaking wet.
I watched him go into the bathroom and heard him sneezing constantly.
It was late. Celestia was worried when she found out he had a fever. To keep her from worrying, I promised to take good care of him.
Coming out of Celestia's room, I casually walked back to our bedroom.
"Have some soup, it'll warm you up." I brought him the soup Indigo had made, wondering how he got so wet.
"Okay."
Levi took it and sipped twice, then frowned.
"I know you're not feeling well, just bear with it."
I took out fever medicine from the medical kit. His face was flushed red.
He picked up the thermometer and checked himself - 102 degrees Fahrenheit.
"Get some sleep after taking the medicine, you'll be better tomorrow." I handed him the pills and water.
Levi looked at me with hazy eyes and obediently took the medicine.
It had been a long time since he'd been this gentle - maybe it was because he was sick. He didn't seem so cold anymore.
I turned off the light and switched on the little night light Celestia gave me, so I could see him if anything happened.
When things got quiet, my mind started wandering. Levi always had a car service, and even on rainy days, someone would hold an umbrella for him. How did he get caught in the rain?
I couldn't figure it out no matter how hard I thought. My mind was a mess, and gradually I got sleepy too.
Half asleep, I felt my waist getting hotter and hotter. I struggled and moved a bit, but couldn't break free. Levi's hands were like two big clamps that wouldn't budge.
"Why is it so hot..."
I muttered to myself - did the fever medicine not work?
He was sleeping peacefully before, why was he restless now...
I became more awake. I forcefully moved his hand away. Under the dim yellow glow of the night light, his breathing was a bit unsteady.
"I'll get you a towel."
I had to use physical cooling methods.
As soon as I sat up, he pulled me back. With a hard tug, I fell heavily onto his chest. I heard his rapid heartbeat.
His hands covered my back and started wandering.
"Levi, don't touch me."
I said quietly, but his hands didn't stop.
I was completely flustered. What was he doing? Was he delirious from the fever? He hadn't touched me since Celestia was born.
"You smell so good..."
He rolled over and pressed me beneath him. I felt his burning chest.
My eyes widened as I watched his face grow larger in front of me. Just as he was about to kiss me, I became completely alert.
I pushed against him with both hands. "Look clearly at who I am!"
"Who else could it be but you..."
He wasn't delirious? What about his boundaries?
"You have a fever. I'm going to get you a wet towel. Let me go." I struggled.
Levi paused. Before he could react, I quickly pushed him away. He collapsed limply on the bed, his eyes unfocused, seeming a bit more clear-headed.
I walked quickly to turn on the light. The room instantly brightened. He instinctively covered his eyes with his hand and let out a muffled groan.
"Have some water first."
I pretended nothing had just happened and tried to calm myself down.
"Don't want any."
Levi sat up and leaned against the headboard. "You should sleep."
He was the one who was restless, but now he was casually telling me to sleep first.
I got a towel and dampened it. I splashed some water on my face, telling myself, "Blair, you need to stay clear-headed."
I slowly walked to his side. He was almost asleep again, as if everything that had just happened was just part of his dream.
His eyes were closed, his lips red, and he looked somewhat vulnerable.
I reached out to smooth the stray hair on his forehead and wiped his cheeks with the wet towel.
When I got to his neck, he suddenly coughed violently, startling me into pulling my hand back.
"Sorry, I..."
Levi waved his hand. "Not your fault."
Watching him like this, my feelings were mixed. I'd been by his side for six years - we should have feelings for each other, right?
But thinking of Jessa, I became very clear-headed.
If he had feelings for me, he wouldn't have brought Jessa into my life so casually and wouldn't have let Jessa act all affected in front of me.
Levi smiled lazily. "Sleep, I'll be better tomorrow."
I hadn't seen him smile in so long, I thought I was hallucinating. He lay down on his own and covered himself with the blanket.
I watched him gradually fall asleep.
I once thought about spending my whole life by his side, living peacefully. It would be nice if time could freeze at this moment.
I turned off the light, quietly opened the door, and went downstairs.
I was too easily satisfied. Usually, Levi was so gentle with Jessa and so cold to me, yet when he smiled at me just now, my heart felt warm.
I smiled bitterly, despising how pathetic I was.
"Mrs. Morgan, why aren't you sleeping?"
Indigo suddenly appeared, startling me.
I covered my chest, trying to compose myself.
"A bit of insomnia."
I made up an excuse, though I was actually very tired and sleepy.
"What a coincidence, I can't sleep tonight either. I just couldn't fall asleep no matter what." Indigo turned on the living room light and cut some fruit from the kitchen.
"Mrs. Morgan, have some fruit if you're troubled."
I nodded. I was truly troubled.
Indigo stood nearby. "Is Mr. Morgan feeling better?"
"Still has a fever."
"You're worried about him, right? Mr. Morgan's always been healthy. I don't know how he got caught in the rain today."
"Indigo, please sit. There's no one else here."
Indigo sat down somewhat stiffly and said with a smile, "Mrs. Morgan, at critical times, you're still the one taking care of him. How could Mr. Morgan not understand? Men, they occasionally get confused."
"He's not confused. Maybe I'm the other woman." I really regretted it - I was too naive back then.
"Mrs. Morgan, please don't think that way. Even if you two hadn't gotten together back then, they might not have made it either. Nothing in this world is certain."
Indigo was trying to comfort me. I knew she genuinely cared about me.
"Yeah, maybe."
I picked up the nearby blanket and covered my legs. "Indigo, it's late. You should go rest."
"Okay, Mrs. Morgan."
Indigo knew her place - she understood I didn't want to talk more.
I lay on the sofa, the cold leather spreading through my whole body. I curled up, Levi's words echoing in my mind.
Did Levi mistake me for Jessa tonight?
I don't know when I fell asleep. I only remember going through every moment I'd spent with Levi over these years.
If he hadn't lied to me, if he hadn't seen Jessa again, would our lives have continued as planned?
But everything had really happened. Our marriage was too fragile.