Chapter 5

What a waste of a Saturday night, was what I would have been thinking…if I had ever been the kind of person not to waste a Saturday night. I had no right to be salty about being grounded, when I didn’t go anywhere anyway. And yet, I found myself angry at the walls for holding me in, and angrier at my parents for not understanding what had been going on with me.

The game of ceiling staring had gotten heated, but I took the lead by a billion. Turned out that ceilings didn’t play games because they were, well, ceilings.

I sat up, huffing to myself that I lost the ability to keep myself entertained. What the fuck is my problem? I was a functioning teenage girl, and I should have been fine. What did other people do on Saturdays? Hang out with their boyfriends maybe. Ugh, I didn’t want to think about him, and I didn’t want to think about the stupid wooden carvings that existed only ten feet from me. If I didn’t look, then they didn’t exist.

This didn’t do the job, and my brain would have eventually eaten itself if I stayed in one spot. I had to get out of the house, now. My parents watched TV upstairs, and the kids played in the living room. I knew that, because I could hear screaming from some game. That meant I could get away with this.

I rose and looked around my room. I got the bottom level one, with the window that led right outside. I’d never used it to sneak out, or sneak anyone in, but there was a first time for everything.

I shut out my bedroom light and turned on music so that my parents would have thought I’d gone to bed early. Not that they would have checked on me, but better safe than sorry.

Getting the window open and crawling out resulted in only a few scrapes from the bush outside, and then I had my freedom. I closed the window as best I could before I stared down the dark and empty road.

I happened to know of a party only a little ways away from here, and I felt like doing something I had never done before. I could stop by for a little while, see what all the fuss was about, then get something to eat. No problem.

My hands burrowed into my sweater as I tried to stay warm. At least it wasn’t raining or anything, but the wind chilled my skin everywhere it touched. I did not dress for a party, in ripped up pants, and a crazy old sweatshirt. Maybe it meant no one would look at me twice.

By the time I had gotten to the end of the block and turned the corner, I heard someone singing a song I’d never heard. It sounded like a boy, and it made me turn, and walk in the other direction. Another ten steps, and I found the source.

I stopped, and grinned when I saw Poe sitting, cross legged on the hood of a beat-up car, knitting his heart away. I couldn’t tell what it his project would eventually be, so I looked extra hard as I approached.

“Poe!” I called. “What the hell are you doing?”

He looked up at me, smiling. “Oh, well I’m working on the car. Can you not tell?”

I rolled my eyes and kept walking toward him. Assuming he lived here, he had one of the medium sized houses on the street. My parents could have afforded to live somewhere more extravagant, but they weren’t the types to overspend when they didn’t have to. Poe told me he only had one sibling, so this seemed like an appropriately sized place.

Poe hopped down from the car and set his knitting on the hood. “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

I turned and pointed down the street. “I live over there. Have for a while. You?”

“Five years,” he answered. “I never see you around here. Do you stay locked in the house?”

Yes, because I’m a loser. “I’m a reader, so I stay hidden away.”

“Mysterious.” He waggled his eyebrows. “I like it. What are you doing out here? Are you planning on helping me fix the check engine light?” Poe jabbed his thumb in the direction of the old Corolla. “I was gonna, but I got distracted.”

I smiled. “I see that. You knit outside a lot?”

“Tons. It’s a bunch of fun.”

“I’m heading to a party, actually. I got grounded and didn’t want to stay inside anymore.”

The boy looked pleased. “You don’t seem the kind to sneak out, but I like your shadiness. You like parties?”

I scoffed. “Not even a little bit, but I can’t keep spending all my time at McDonalds. They’ll have to roll me out of there like the blue girl from Willy Wonka.”

Poe started walking toward the backseat of his car, grabbing his knitting on the way. “Shame, I like those McFlurry things. Get in the car, Violet. I’m driving you to a party.”

I grinned and hurried to the front seat.

While Poe put his knitting somewhere safe, I buckled up. Of course, his windshield wasn’t in great shape. The top corner had a long crack in it, about the size of my forearm. As Poe got in, I started fixing it for him.

“Neato,” he said, closing the door. “You saved me lot of money.”

“Then I guess we’re even on the ride to the party.”

Poe started the car and pulled out of his driveway. “This is more than a ride. I wanna play too, and clearly someone needs to keep an eye on you, you little break out artist. Also, I would look like a huge loser if I was dancing all alone.”

The party wasn’t far, and I directed Poe on which way to drive. We arrived at a massive house a few blocks away, all tucked nicely between a bunch of trees. The boy throwing the party also came from a metal worker family. That meant they were loaded beyond belief, and it showed. About twenty cars parked around the property, lined up as people went in and out of the house. Music boomed, and I already knew I didn’t want to go inside.

Once Poe and I got out of the car, he laced his arm with mine. “Ready?”

I was not. “Sure.”

He escorted me inside, around the people that bumped into each other. Already, I saw a ton of sloppy teenagers with red cups, all having a good time. I wasn’t one of these people, and I already felt like I didn’t belong.

Poe pulled me aside, to a little nook away from the main entrance. “You okay?” he asked over the music. “You look a little sick, and I haven’t even tried to ply you with booze yet to make you all shiny and happy.”

I swallowed. “I hate people. I should have mentioned that.”

Poe shrugged. “We can work around that. If you’re still bothered in twenty minutes, then I’ll take you for something to eat. We can sit in a quiet fast food place and stare at nothing.”

I groaned when someone shoulder checked me on their way past, and Poe snuggled my arm against his, assuring me we would be fine. I didn’t believe him, but I stayed by his side as he walked me over to the kitchen. We found a table full of snacks, and he dropped me like a hot potato when he saw the pigs in a blanket.

Poe gathered up a massive plate of food and offered me a little sandwich looking thing. I ate it, and then six more while Poe grinned in amusement. He got me a soda, and we stood around, both lost on what normal people did during these gatherings.

“I think a lot of people make out,” Poe said. “Is seven minutes in heaven still a thing?”

“I don’t know. We can try and start a game of spin the bottle if you want.”

“Ooo, good idea.”

The two of us walked out of the kitchen while Poe happily stuffed his face. The house felt stuffed with people running around, having proper fun, like normal people. It looked so easy for them, letting loose and not worrying about looking like dumbasses as they stumbled around yelling.

Someone crashed into me, and all I could think was that I wanted to take a mason jar to their face. They didn’t make it better when they started screaming about a revolution. What did he want to revolt against? Being decent? I should have taken a lamp and rammed it down his—Oh a dog!

“Clover!” Poe yelled at me as I took off, a goal in mind.

I spotted it in the corner, on the couch. Through the mess of people, I saw a little mostly unoccupied area, and a little white floof. It was only when I got a little closer that I noticed it sat on someone’s lap. That didn’t make me not want to meet the dog. It looked little, and proud, and had a pink belly.

The dog growled at everyone around it, and the owner glared along with it. I didn’t know the girl’s name, but I had seen her at school before. She was in the same grade as Poe and I, but looked about fourteen. To match that, she appeared stick skinny, with dark blond hair tied up in pigtails. Her brown eyes stayed narrowed on whoever yelled the loudest.

“Oh a dog!” Poe said, coming up behind me, and cutting me off from the little mutt freak. “Lemme pet your dog,” he asked of the girl.

She looked up as the dog started growling at Poe. It let out a bark. “Calm your ass, Cujo. You’re not fooling anyone.”

Poe grabbed a pig in a blanket and held it up. “I can bribe her into loving me, if that’s okay.”

The girl snorted. “She would murder for you just for the chance at half of that.”

It looked true, since Cujo’s black pit eyes went right to the food. Poe offered it up, and almost lost a finger. I learned then not to watch a dog eat, because it turned out to be terrifying to see her go to town on the little treat.

Cujo’s human aimed her eyes at me. “Do you have a sacrifice for our lord and savior?”

Poe held his plate to me, and I grabbed something small to give the dog. Once I did, she let us pet her. Though her eyes stayed focused on the plate of food, she seemed to enjoy her belly rubs.

“Cathy, by the way,” the girl told us. “I know you,” she added as she pointed to Poe. “We had gym together last year.”

“Poe,” my friend said. “And this is Clover. We don’t like parties but wanted to get out of the house. What’s your excuse?”

She smiled and pet her little dog. “My brother is throwing this stupid ass party. I’m here so that no one screws in my bed, and so that Cujo doesn’t become a murderer.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “Have you been sitting here the whole time?”

“Pretty much. It kind of sucks.”

It really does suck, I thought as I looked around the room again. So many people moved through the house, that I was surprised anyone could have even gotten through to anywhere. I didn’t see why it was worth it to even show up. They could have gotten drunk down at a lake if it meant that much to them.

It came like a sucker punch, when I was already trying to mend from the last seven. I wasn’t sure at first, but I knew that face anywhere. I saw Peter in the middle of the crowd, dancing to the kind of music I knew he hated. He spun Kelly around, and she stumbled to his chest. He laughed, she laughed, I wanted to puke. But no more so than when I saw him raise a beer bottle to his lips and take a drink from it.

“What the fuck is this Twilight Zone shit!” I hissed, making Cujo bark at me.

Cathy blinked. “Are you referring to the man around the corner, putting coins in what seems to be a magic slots machine? Or maybe the dude with Gomez Addams, who crossed through the desert, claiming to be from the eighteen hundreds?”

I nodded to my ex. “I’m talking about that boy who I happen to know better than anyone in the world, doing a million things that he would never do.”

“Hate to break it to you, babe, but if he’s doing them, then maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.”

I winced, and Poe frowned as he explained. “They dated for a while, and he’s an asshole.”

I made a face. “Yeah, he and I were dating up until a month ago.”

Cathy cocked her head. “And he’s already dancing with some jerk? I can beat him up if you want me to. I don’t mind. I actually like hitting people.”

An icky feeling bubbled up in me, and I didn’t know where to put it. I wanted to scream, and break things, and storm up to Peter for answers that I wasn’t actually sure I wanted. Happier without you. He must have thought I held him back from fun, and things he wanted to do.

“It doesn’t make sense,” I started. “He’s never drank before. Peter hates parties. He said he would have rather been stabbed in the face than have to be around people. Now…” I turned back to see him pressing his lips to Kelly’s temple. He used to do that with me…

“It’s not you,” Poe said. “Just because he’s doing different stuff than he used to, that’s not something you should take the blame for. He probably wants to distract himself from hurting.”

I scoffed. “I’m sure Kelly is a nice distraction.”

Cathy stood with Cujo, and the little corgi/Chihuahua/weird looking thing, aimed her eyes at the crowd, still growling as if they had offended her. She barked when someone opened the door, entering the house.

“Who are you trying to fool?” Cathy asked her.

Cujo licked her face.

Still pissy, my clenched fists locked at my sides. I didn’t want to look over and see Peter, but I kept doing it. He danced, and smiled, and I was still miserable. Why did he get to be happy when all I wanted to do was cry over him? Why didn’t he mourn the future we had planned together?

“You look like you wanna break something,” Cathy said.

“A little. But I already broke a car, and a back windshield this week. If I wasn’t a glass worker, I would probably already be in jail.”

Cathy grinned. “I have something I can do for you, but it comes at a price.”

“Being?”

She glared at a couple walking up the stairs. “I must guard my bed from those who would wish to get yuckies all over it. If you wouldn’t mind putting a bunch of broken glass in it, and then taking it out before you went home, that would be real wizard of you.”

I laughed. “Not a problem.”

I followed her, Poe at my side as we made our way through the increasingly irritating crowd. They had only gotten louder since we got here, and I had little hope that it would get better before we left again.

We arrived in Cathy’s massive room, and she stopped in the middle of the space, telling me I could borrow the glass from her window. “If anyone jumps out,” she said. “They’ll have it coming.”

I agreed and took a glance at the glass in front of me. I called on it, and it wiggled free of the wood that held it up. In the air, I shattered it, and Cathy flinched at the sound. No one was in danger, and I had complete control of the shards. I dropped them on the bed and made it utterly sex proof. Unless they were into the weird stuff.

“Sweet,” Cathy said. “I like me a good trick.”

“It certainly was fun to watch.” Poe smirked at me.

Cathy turned to him; her expression thoughtful. “Hey, didn’t I see a bunch of freshman trying to bribe you last week? They wanted six packs.”

I chuckled. “What? Why would they do that?”

“Muscle worker,” Poe explained. “And I told them no on the cheating. They offered me money, and I only take candy as payment. Wasn’t worth the thirty seconds of effort.”

I wasn’t in as light a mood as Poe seemed to be, because every time someone smiled, I couldn’t make myself. I wanted to try, but Peter’s face kept popping up in my head. It wasn’t the version of him downstairs, dancing with someone else that I saw. They were those memories of a couple months ago, and before that. When we had been okay, and together, and I felt like my life had a direction to go in. I had a plan, and I was fine with it. I had put all the pieces together and felt satisfied with how my life would turn out. Everything had been set in stone. Or so I’d thought.

“I think we oughta head out,” Cathy said, eyeing me. “It looks like you’re either going to cry or kill someone.”

“Both,” I suggested.

I watched her walk over to her closet and dig something out of it. A few moments later, she turned back to me, a dog in one hand, and a baseball bat in the other.

“All right,” she said. “You ready for some fun?”