Chapter 15: Eve

It took everything I had in me not to collapse on the floor when I heard Liam’s car start. I didn’t want him to leave, but I also couldn’t have him here right now. Ignoring the gaping hole that had just been torn in my heart, I turned to face my cheating, lying husband. “Want to know what I was doing while you were burying your dick in Skylar?” I marched up to him and got in his face. “I was being assaulted by my boss. If Liam hadn’t walked in when he had, God only knows what Troy would’ve done.”

Derrick’s eyes widened. “What? Troy touched you?”

That was the first real emotion I’d seen from him since catching him in the act. “He saw you and Liam touching me, talking about fucking me. He thought he could get in line and have a turn, too.” I knew Derrick wasn’t responsible for Troy’s actions, but I blamed him anyway. If he hadn’t brought Liam into our lives, this wouldn’t have happened.

He scowled. “I’ll kill him.”

“Oh, that’s rich.” I threw my hands in the air. “You’re going to get all possessive and righteous about Troy getting handsy when you’re cheating on me?” My face burned with anger, and I took several deep breaths to calm myself. “Why?” My voice was barely above a whisper. “How long?”

He sighed as if my questions were a nuisance. “The first time was the night before she left for London. Then we stayed in touch via the phone and video chats.”

He’d been cheating on me almost our entire marriage? Bile rose in my throat, and tears pricked behind my eyes. “You had phone sex with her?”

Derrick nodded. “Yes. But the why isn’t want you think.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Things haven’t been the same between us for years now, Derrick. I’m not stupid.” I paced, then stopped. “Actually, I am stupid, I guess. I mean, I didn’t know you were messing around behind my back, but now it all makes sense.” I flopped down on the couch. “You’d get off with her, and then you had nothing left for me. All these years I thought it was me…” I shook my head, fiery rage building inside of me.

“Eve, babe, it’s really not what you think.”

“Then explain it to me, but don’t you dare insult me by saying it ‘just happened,’ or that it ‘didn’t mean anything.’ I want the truth, Derrick.” I sat in the recliner, worried my already shaking legs would give out.

He sat on the couch and faced me. “The first time I met Skylar, I was attracted to her. But I didn’t act on it. Then, while she was planning your surprise wedding shower, we got closer.” He paused and shifted uncomfortably.

I was completely frozen in place, too shocked to move or speak.

“I still didn’t act on it, even though I had plenty of chances,” he continued. “The night before she left, she called and asked me to stop by after work to help her move some boxes.”

“Oh, God.” I leaned over, forcing myself to breathe. He’d told me he had to work late that night. How deep did his deception run?

“I had sex with her that night, and after, we both felt so guilty, we swore it would never happen again. We also swore we’d never tell you.”

“Thanks for sparing my feelings like that,” I snapped sarcastically.

Ignoring my snark, he kept talking. “We couldn’t seem to stop, though. She started calling me weekly, and we…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

I held up my hand to silence him. “Yeah, I get it.”

“I’m so sorry, Eve. I never wanted to hurt you.”

I snorted and looked away. The mere sight of him made me sick to my stomach. I flexed my fingers, hoping I could get rid of the shaking.

“Everything I have ever done, every decision I’ve made has been for you, to make sure you were happy and could have the life I know you want,” Derrick said. He slid off the couch and onto his knees in front of me.

“And you thought inviting another man to have sex with me so you wouldn’t feel as guilty about cheating would make me happy?” I rolled my eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

He reached for my hands, and I stood abruptly, refusing to let him touch me. He remained on the floor, shoulders slumped. “The way I feel about Skylar is the same way Liam feels about you.”

His words landed like a lead weight in my chest, and my steps faltered. “What?”

Derrick rose to his feet. “You think I don’t know how Liam feels about you? A blind man could see the way he looks at you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. Everything Liam had confessed to me last night raced through my mind on repeat, and suddenly, all the pieces clicked into place. “That’s why you invited him here…” I could feel the color drain from my face. “It wasn’t because you wanted to share me, or because you wanted him to cover for you. You wanted me to fall in love with him so you could get out of this marriage.”

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. The truth was plastered across his face. I walked up to him and poked him in the chest. “You’re a fucking coward, Derrick. If you wanted a divorce, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t need to orchestrate this…” I waved my hand around, unsure what to call this disastrous weekend. “This…charade.”

“You don’t get it.” He sighed with frustration. “For as long as I’ve been sharing women with Liam, it’s always been him. He’s the one to pick the women. He’s the one to talk to them, to get them to agree, to make them feel safe and loved. They always wanted him. But with you…” He frowned. “You wanted me, and I latched onto that despite what was right in front of me.”

My heart raced, and I felt dizzy. “What’re you saying?”

“When I realized how Liam felt about you, I should’ve gotten the hell out of the way, but I finally had the one thing he wanted. I had you. I’d gotten you without any help from him, and I clung to that, but I can’t anymore.”

My breath hitched on a sob, and I stood there, crying. Confused. Heartbroken. “So…you’ve never loved me? You were only with me so you could dangle me over Liam’s head?” I refused to believe the last five years of my life had been wasted with a man who never truly loved me.

“I love you, Eve. I always have, and I always will. But I can’t ignore this any longer. You want things I can’t give you.” His tone was level and sincere. “Things I know Liam can.”

“Like what? Honesty? Monogamy?” All I wanted was to make him hurt like I was, but no matter what I said, he didn’t react. Didn’t seem fazed at all.

He shook his head. “Kids, Eve. You want kids, and that’s the one thing I can’t give you.”

We’d been trying for nearly a year before we gave up and went to a fertility clinic. We’d both undergone a lot of tests, but before the results came back we mutually agreed to wait. Or rather, he wanted to wait, and I’d agreed because I was desperate to have my husband back, to have things be like they used to in the beginning of our relationship.

“I’m sterile.”

All the air rushed from my lungs. I couldn’t take anymore. I shook my head adamantly, not wanting to believe what he was telling me.

“Don’t you see?” He approached and put his hands on my shoulders. “You want a husband who will devote himself fully to you, without the constant need to share you. A husband who will make you the center of his world, who will give you all the babies you want. Liam is that man, Eve. I’m not.”

“That’s what this entire weekend was about? Making me see how great Liam is so you can get a divorce free and clear? You want to go be with Skylar, and you want me to be with Liam.”

“Yes,” he whispered.

The last piece of my heart shattered. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed so hard, my shoulders shook. Derrick wrapped his arms around me and held me, neither of us speaking for a long while.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

I knew our marriage had been in trouble, but I hadn’t realized it was this bad. I figured we were just a little out of sync, that we’d get past it and move on. But now everything was crashing down around me. I pulled back and sniffled. A small voice in the back of my mind told me I should fight for Derrick, for my marriage. But what was the point? He clearly wanted things I didn’t. If I gave in to what he wanted—no kids and kinky sex with other men—I’d be miserable. And if he gave in to what I wanted, he’d be miserable. There was no way to reconcile this.

“I won’t fight you on the divorce, but you’re fucking crazy if you think I’m going to go running to Liam just because that’s your idea of a perfect ending.” I spun on my heel and headed to the master bedroom to pack my stuff.

* * *

“Eve?”

The sight of my sister, Sarah, brought fresh tears to my eyes. I’d driven five hours straight to her house in Ohio. There was no way I was going back to my and Derrick’s apartment, and knowing I was quitting my job, there was really no reason to stay in New York.

“What’s wrong?” Concern etched across her face as she draped her arm around my shoulders and led me inside. She sat me on the couch. “Tell me everything.”

And that’s exactly what I did—I told her everything, from how my marriage had been suffering to Liam to Troy assaulting me to Derrick and Skylar. She listened intently, without interruption or judgment. “So, I need a place to stay for a while.” I had no idea what I was going to do now, whether I’d go back to New York and look for a new job, or if I’d stay in Ohio and completely start over.

“Oh, Eve.” She hugged me. “I’m sorry.”

“I just don’t understand how I could’ve been so wrong about Derrick.” I snatched a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blew my nose.

“I don’t know, either, but at least he came clean now rather than dragging this out for several more years.”

My jaw dropped. “You’re taking his side?”

“No, of course not.” She gave me a dirty look. “He’s a total asshole for what he did, but let’s be honest, Eve. You haven’t really been happy, have you?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Well, you know you can stay here as long as you need to.” She patted my knee, then stood. “Take some time to grieve, then figure out what you want to do. In the meantime, you can help me stuff candle holders for the upcoming wedding.”

I laughed. Sarah was the premiere wedding planner in Ohio. She was the queen of cheap and elegant. But that came with one major downside—she usually made all the decorations herself. I had no idea how she did it all on her own, but I didn’t mind helping. “Thanks, sis.”

“Any time. Now, how about we drown our problems with some hot cocoa?”

I laughed again. “It’s the middle of summer. That’s a winter drink.”

“Nonsense.” She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s a chocolatey indulgence meant to make you feel better for a few moments only to then make you feel guilty.”

Shaking my head, I followed her into the kitchen.

* * *

Over the next eight weeks, I returned to New York twice. Once to get my stuff out of the apartment, and once to meet with Derrick and our lawyers to settle the terms of our divorce. In a matter of hours, five years of my life had been divided and dissolved. At least it wasn’t a nasty, drawn-out divorce like I’d seen while working as a paralegal.

Liam had tried calling several times, but I rejected all his calls. I couldn’t talk to him. Not yet. I’d blamed him for something he didn’t do. I’d kicked him out of my life when all I really wanted was him to stay. He was a victim of Derrick’s games, too. I knew that now. But what could I possibly say to him to make any of this better? How could he ever forgive me? And even if I did find the words, what good would it do? It’s not like we could ever be together. Things were too complicated now.

I sat cross-legged on my sister’s living room floor, stuffing potpourri into tiny, mesh bags and then tying them with purple ribbon. The smell was turning my stomach, and I fought to keep down my lunch. “How many more of these do we need?”

“One hundred and fifty-two,” Sarah said.

I groaned. “We’re going to be here forever.”

“Oh, stop.” She laughed and swatted at my arm. There was a knock on the door, and she jumped up to answer.

Her quick movement made me dizzy, and I took a small sip from the bottle of water I’d opened earlier that morning. It was lukewarm, but anything colder turned my stomach.

“Eve, it’s for you,” Sarah said, giving me a sympathetic look.

I stood and fought off a sudden wave of vertigo. “Yes?” I said to the delivery man standing at the door.

“Eve Montgomery?” he asked.

“That’s me.”

He held out an electronic pad. “I need you to sign here, please.”

After I hastily scrawled my name, he handed me a thick manila envelope. My hands shook as I stared at the return address—my lawyer. I didn’t need to open it to know they were my final divorce papers. I was no longer Mrs. Derrick Reynolds. I was simply Eve Montgomery again. Choking out a strangled thank you, I closed the door.

“Eve?” Sarah stood.

My stomach churned. “Oh, God!” I tossed the envelope on the floor, cupped my hand over my mouth, and raced to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my lunch made a reappearance. Tears pooled in my eyes.

“Eve, sweetie.” Sarah stood in the bathroom doorway, arms crossed. “You okay?”

I shook my head, knowing if I tried to speak, I’d just throw up again. Flushing and closing the lid, I rested my cheek on the cool porcelain.

Sarah entered and sat on the edge of the tub, rubbing my back gently. “You really should go to the doctor. You’ve been sick for more than a week now.”

“Yeah.” My throat burned. I wiped at my tears—would they ever stop falling?