Chapter 38: The Weight of It All

The wooden door was pushed open, revealing an excessive amount of light. Those in the shed stirred and squinted their eyes. Some tried turning around and covering their eyes, avoiding direct assault from the brightness. His eyes scanned the shed, looking at the inhabitants of the small space and their surroundings.

There were seven men. Three of them were obviously injured. They laid on the ground covered with hay. The other four men were scattered around, sitting on the ground with their backs to the walls. Their clothes were stained with blood. Thick ropes bounded their limbs, securing them to their respective sides of the shed.

Chad took a few steps into the shed, his movements steady and unhurried. He knelt beside the injured men to examine them. “You bastard! What are you trying to do?” The man to his left shouted. He raised his head to look at the owner of the voice. His face was scrunched up in anger. Despite the lack of energy, he tugged at the ropes as he attempted to rush over.

Ignoring him, Chad placed two fingers on the neck of the man nearest to him. The man continued struggling and tugging while throwing profanity at him. Chad went on with his action of examining the unconscious men, totally tuning him out.

Finally, he stood and signaled for the guards at the side to bring the unconscious men out. “You son of a bitch! Where are you taking them? Why are you being a pussy? Let go of me! Let’s have a dual! Are you afraid?” The incessant screaming did not help with his pounding head. Chad turned and walked out of the shed. “Keep an eye on them,” he said to the guard at the door. “Should I tape his mouth?” The guard asked him. “Let him be. He might let slip something while he’s at it,” Chad replied. “Thanks for the hard work,” he said as he placed one hand on the guard’s shoulder. With that, he left the loud screaming and cursing of the man in the shed.

Still, it didn’t help with the pounding of his head. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the fridge. He popped off the lid right away. Even before he landed on the stool, half of the bottle was already empty. Sitting on the stool, he rested his elbows on the counter top. He closed his eyes and focused on his pulsing temples. He pressed two fingers to his temples respectively.

“Are you alright?” The voice alerted him. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Nelly standing not far away from him. She held a glass in her hand. He assumed that the white liquid in it was milk.

“I will be,” he replied. Instinctively, his hand went to the bottle in front of him. “It’ll make things worse,” she said. Chad raised his eyes and for the first time since she walked in, really looked at her. It was as if he saw her for the first time. Ever since she came from the city, she never dared look at him, not to mention talk to him. The only time she’d talk to him was when she was treating a patient with her focus solely on the treatment.

“How so?” He asked as he placed the bottle back on the counter. “When was the last time you slept?” Ignoring his inquiry, Nelly asked a question of her own. “I took a few naps here and there,” Chad replied. “That explains the headache. Do you drink anything other than alcohol?” Nelly continued.

Chad stopped for a moment. Nelly held her breath as she watched him think. To her surprise, he chuckled. “No, not really,” he replied, smiling.

Nelly was stunned. She knew she should say something but she stayed rooted on her spot as her mind went blank. Seeing that there was no response from her, Chad continued, “is that the reason why I’m having this headache?”

“Y..Yes,” she managed to stutter. “Hmm..” Chad nodded. Then, he reached for the bottle and gulped it down. His action shocked Nelly. Her heart raced and she started feeling nervous. ‘It’s coming,’ she thought as she continued berating herself internally for not minding her own business.

The last time she tried talking someone out of drinking, the men mocked her on the spot. It made her uneasy. The feeling lingered. She felt stupid for repeating her action once more, knowing exactly what was to come.

Her fingers around the glass tightened. She started feeling hot as her heart pounded in her ears. Chad has downed the whole bottle. He was putting it down on the counter. He’d start mocking her, or worse, scold her for trying to poke a nose in his business. What was she thinking trying to mess with the leader? Would he throw her out to die out of anger? Or worse, would he..

He turned to face her. Nelly’s tension immediately turned into confusion. It wasn’t the smug expression she expected. “Sometimes it feels better after I drink. What would happen if I continue drinking like this?” His question was anything but mockery. It seemed like a genuine question. “Will the pain go away?” The simple five-word question carried the weight of his responsibility and weariness.

Guilt immediately hit Nelly. She was expecting the worst of him. She assumed that he’s a bad person when he’s simply a responsible leader too burnt out from all the shit happening around him. To be exact, he’s her benefactor. Thanks to him, she could still stay in the gang, protected and in one piece.

The tension in her body immediately disperse into thin air. Her fear turned into pity and respect. Slowly, she inched closer to where he was. “Yes, it will,” she said. He looked up. His mouth opened to say something but she immediately cut him off. “So will your life,” she continued on steadily, “you won’t feel the pain when you’re dead.”