Chapter 22: Her Inner Demons

Stacy laid in bed, wide awake as the moonlight shone in through the window. Her wide eyes were fixed on the wooden ceiling above her. Just an hour ago, Nelly departed with the group that would stay with her for the rest of the two years.

Fate brought people together just to tear them apart. They had only spent a short few hours together. Yet, she worries for the girl she’s just met. Nelly had made her choice and Stacy would not interrupt. She wouldn’t say that things would be better at the clubhouse but at least, she could watch out for her if she stayed there.

Nelly reminded her of the friend she lost years ago when they were running away from the syndicate. She sacrificed herself so that Stacy could escape. Since then, she felt as if she carried the burden of two lives on her shoulder. One’s her own and another’s her deceased friend’s.

Looking at Nelly, she saw the shadow of that friend. It was the same pure, innocent girl who’s always willing to provide help whenever needed. She closed her eyes. “What should I do?” She saw Nelly’s stressed demeanor as she asked the question. The same girl turned around and squatted down, hugging her knees. She turned into that friend, back facing her. “What should we do?” Her friend’s distressed voice filled her mind.

Stacy squeezed her closed eyes tighter as she turned to lie on her side. “One of us has to do it,” the picture of her friend’s face appeared again. Her usually innocent and cheerful vibe was gone. She was gravely serious as she uttered those words. “Live on. For me. For us. If I’m lucky, we’ll meet again. It’s nice knowing you.” Those words echoed in her mind.

Stacy sat up on the bed in a furious motion as she hit her bed hard. “Damn it!” She cursed loudly. Unable to rest, she went downstairs. The occasional chatter of men outside the clubhouse was obvious in the peaceful night.

In the common area lay a few passed out men. She recognized James among them. He sat on the wooden floor, back against a chair as his head rested on the seat. Around them were empty cans and bottles. James was still holding a bottle. Stacy shook her head at the scene.

Who’s she to comment on how other people live their lives? She’s no better than them. She headed straight to the bar and popped a bottle. Lifting the bottle to her mouth, she tipped her head back and took a few big gulps.

She felt empty and alone in a clubhouse full of people. She couldn’t see her future in this bleak world of violence. A thought came to her mind. Does her mother feel the same? Is she alright? Everything's unknown.

Oddly, she felt as comforted as she felt troubled by the unknown that lies in the future. Not knowing the truth gave her hope. Deep in her heart was the hope that everything’s alright. Her mother’s safe and alive. If everything went well, she could start a new life with her somewhere far away. Then, she could say she exchanged life with Nelly.

Nelly. The girl from years ago. The same form that haunted her mind that night. She shook her head. She’s here to forget, not to go over her memories in a loop.

She took another big gulp of the alcohol in her hand. If only she could drown all the memories and worries in her mind in the alcohol that entered her system..

The base of the empty bottle hit the counter surface. She held it there while her gaze was fixed somewhere else, looking like she was deep in thought. In reality, there was nothing on her mind.

Someone clinked a bottle with her empty one. The motion brought her back to reality. She looked up and saw Chad. “What’s on your mind?” He asked casually.

“The usual,” she replied, bringing the bottle to her mouth but realized that it was empty. She placed it back on the counter.

Chad reached for a new bottle and handed it to her. They clinked bottles and drank. For some time, they sat there in comfortable silence.

“I wish to kill Hank and take over the Viper’s territory,” Chad said suddenly. Stacy’s heart skipped a beat. She took a deep breath to stay calm before turning to look at him. “Oh, really? That won’t be easy,” she commented.

“I know. As the leader, I believe that we need to move forward. It’s impossible for us to go back to society. At least, we have to secure our own safety. We have to end the source of danger by cutting its head off.”

Stacy nodded. “I agree. But why are you telling me this?”

“Did you remember what I said the other day?” Chad hinted. “Which day? There were so many things you said.”

“I told you I want to believe you. I’m taking the steps,” he said. Stacy was silent as she turned the bottle slowly. “I’m trying,” he continued, “and I hope that you’ll do the same.”

There was no response.

Chad gave up on the hope for any response. He raised his own bottle and drank. Once again, they went back to the comfortable silence they had before the conversation.

After some time, Stacy finally made a move. She gulped down the rest of the liquid in her bottle. Chad simply observed her actions but said nothing. Once again, the empty bottle’s base hit the countertop.

Stacy laughed mockingly. “What?”

“Nothing. I find it hilarious,” she replied.

“What is?” Chad questioned again.

“My life. My whole life’s a joke,” Stacy said, “can you pass another bottle?”

Chad studied her for a moment longer before reaching for the bottle and handed it to her. She took a sip right after she popped it open.

Then, she smiled. “You know, I’ll happily provide all the support you need. Let’s cut the evil head off,” she said.

Chad studied her. Was she sober or drunk?

“With us teaming up, Hank can start counting his remaining days.” Stacy’s words sounded more like a promise than a statement.

That bastard of a man will die. She’d make sure of it.