Chapter 13: The Heart that Yearns

Stacy stopped at the kitchen to grab a bite before heading to her room. Chewing on a slice of bread, she walked out of the kitchen only to bump into Chad. He was coming down the stairs, looking as casual as ever. His plain T-shirt did little to hide his muscles.

“Where’d you been?” He directed the question at her. “Nowhere,” her answer was simple. “You were working at the workshop all the time?” He seemed partially surprised.

“I thought you knew,” she said in between bites, “what’s with Mr. Grumpy anyway? Didn’t you send him?” Chad looked at her knowingly, his eyes lit up in realisation. “Come on,” he waved, signalling her to follow him.

Despite having the need to rest, she followed him into the meeting room.

“How are the weapons coming along?” Chad asked as he sat. Stacy took a seat opposite him. “They’re done. I thought you would send someone to check or pick them up last night.”

Chad chuckled, “I was waiting for you in the clubhouse last night. I thought you’d show up with some of the weapons at our meeting.” Stacy sat up a little straighter. “Was I supposed to?” She asked. Chad studied her. He couldn’t figure out if she was asking a genuine question or merely showing sarcasm.

“Not really,” he finally said, “I half expected you to come defend yourself and try to convince the members. But,.. I’m glad you didn’t.” Stacy rolled her eyes. “Yes, that’s exactly the reason why I didn’t want you there,” he gestured at her expression. “Yeah, so what happened?” she dismissed his words with a bored expression.

“Max brought up the issue, saying that you could be a spy. Having you in the workshop would give you chances to tamper with the weapons,” he summed up the speech. “Did the rest of them buy it?” Stacy probed.

“Most believed him while some weren't sure and kept neutral,” he replied.

“What about you?” Her questions caught him off guard. “What, me?”

“Do you believe me?” Stacy asked, looking expectant. Chad was quiet for a while before taking a deep breath and faced her. “To be honest, I’m still not very sure,” he decided to tell her the truth.

Stacy shrugged, “fair enough.” She leaned back into the chair. ‘What am I expecting,’ she secretly sneered at herself, ‘in your face.’

“You do understand that we live in a dangerous world, right? Anyone or anywhere could be a threat. No place is truly safe. We have to be on full alert, especially me, as a leader. My decisions could change the lives of my men so I have to be especially cautious.”

Stacy lifted her eyes to look at him. “No worries. You don’t have to explain. I didn’t give you a reason enough to trust me anyway.” She forced a small smile.

“I want to trust you,” Chad said suddenly. “My instinct is telling me that I can trust you. Give me some time.” Stacy was surprised by his sudden confession.

Her body went against her will. She perked up a little, asking, “what should I do?” She calmed herself, looked him right in the eye and repeated, “what should I do to gain your trust?”

Chad considered his answer before saying, “I’m not sure.”

“Is this not enough proof to you?” Stacy held up one of her crutches while gesturing at her wounded leg, trying to get the message across.

“There was this one guy a few months back. Hank shot him twice in the leg. He came to us and asked for help. He even gave us some insider information to show his loyalty. When we started to trust him, he betrayed us by being a spy and reported our every move to Hank. How will we know if you’re not another spy?”

Hearing his explanation, she looked down at the floor. She didn’t know how she would want to prove herself, or if she wanted to do so. Why did it bother her so much? What made her want to prove herself and gain their trust? They were merely working together.

“Sorry about Max,” he said after some time. “You don’t have to apologize for him. In fact, none of you have to apologize to me. I don’t really mind. I’m already used to accusations,” she brushed it off quickly.

“I believe I owe you an apology myself,” he continued, “I wasn’t being reasonable back then in the workshop. I know how Max can be at times. Still, I take it out on you.”

“Fine, don’t worry about it,” she decided to brush it off but hesitated for a while. “Thanks,” she whispered.

“No problem,” he replied when she thought he didn’t hear her.

Sensing that the atmosphere was turning awkward, Stacy changed the subject quickly. “He was in the workshop all the time, like a breathing webcam placed in a corner like a decoration. What was that about?”

Chad chuckled. “I managed to convince them that you could be of help. After some convincing, most of them reluctantly agreed. Max persisted that you’re dangerous so I gave him the green light to follow you around as long as he doesn’t do anything dramatic. You can tell me if he crosses a line. You don’t mind him being there, do you?”

“I don’t mind, as long as he doesn’t interrupt,” she replied with a yawn. “It’s about time you let that body rest. I’ll get out of your hair,” Chad said as he stood to leave.

“Oh, I almost forgot! What happened to the deal? Did the plan go accordingly?” Stacy called out.

Chad stopped at the door. He turned to give her two thumbs up and a wink. Without further explanation, he turned and continued out the door. While walking, he waved his hand, saying, “go to sleep.”

Stacy smiled at his antics. Most of the time, he’s that serious, big bad gang leader. Sometimes, when he’s shown this side of him, it makes him look a lot cuter; just like a young, childish boy.

Stacy smiled bitterly. ‘We’re not that old after all. The circumstances made us this way. In reality, we are just a bunch of kids fighting too hard to survive. If we’d met under a better setting, could we be good friends?’ She can’t help but wonder.