Chapter 31

My eyes popped open and I sighed nervously as I closed them back. My head ached terribly, sending stars before my eyes.

'I fucking know Caleb's gone! Why didn't you stop him?!' His voice was too loud, causing my head to be literally torn apart. 'I don’t care, but you have to take these documents! You have understood me?!'

I whimpered as I rolled from my back to my stomach, but as my face touched the pillow, I cried out in pain as I got out of bed. The condition was terrible. I felt so broken. Before my eyes, everything became cloudy to the point of impossibility. The upper part of the body hurt like crazy that I wanted to get out of my body so as not to feel it. My throat was dry and I needed to drink water. Getting to my feet, I grabbed my head, closing my eyes again. His head was spinning, losing his balance, and before his eyes there was darkness with stars. When everything more or less calmed down, I opened my eyes again, walking barefoot to the mirror cabinet that stood in this room.

'Oh my God,' I chuckled, looking down at myself.

The face looked terrible. I walked closer to the mirror, looking at myself. The lip was split. Large bruises covered my skin, complicating the whole situation.

'I need to take a shower,' I whispered softly, surveying my appearance.

Jay changed me because now I was wearing his black T-shirt, which was a little below the hips. I was ashamed that he saw me in my underwear.

Quietly opening the door, I went out into the corridor, going down the stairs. His voice was no longer heard, and I did not burn with the desire to catch his eye. I would just like to drink a glass of water, return to the room and close my eyes for a moment, leaving in weightlessness. I quietly walked into the living room, finding him sitting on the couch with his back to me. He stared at the black screen of the TV, thinking about something in his head. Pursing my lips, I began to walk into the kitchen on my toes, trying not to make too much noise.

'Come to me,' he said softly, sighing wearily.

I stopped, looking at him in complete fear. James sat on the couch without even looking in my direction, but he knew I was there.

'I said come to me, damn it.'

His tone sounded more menacing than it had been five minutes ago. I slowly walked towards him, lowering my head down and fiddling with my fingers. My bare feet trod the cold floor until they stepped on the soft white carpet next to it.

'Sit down.' It sounded like an order from him, he saw me shaking.

He patted the seat next to him for me to sit there. Without raising my head to him, I sat down on the sofa, continuing to look at my hands.

'We all have our demons.'

I looked up at him, noticing his deep gaze. He looked at the TV, as if finding some kind of picture on it that you can watch for hours.

'And you know,' he paused, thinking deeply about his future words. 'We are often blind when demons break out of us. We are blind when we fall in love. We are blind when we are angry. We feel with our hearts, but at the same time we forget to open our eyes to reality. And often we do not see what we are doing.'

He turned to me, watching my emotions, but they weren't there. I sat listening to him and just got into the words because they made sense in so many ways.

'I was blind. I didn't see what I was doing.' His hand slowly moved to my cheek, gently touching it.

His touch brought me a little pain. He continued to look at me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. The room was quiet and didn't need to be broken because it was comfortable. This moment was much deeper than it seemed.

"I am..." He removed his hand, losing his gaze. 'I treated your wounds while you were unconscious.'

'I am thirsty.' My voice was low and weak, and very hoarse on top of that.

He nodded his head as he rose from the couch and made his way to the kitchen. A few minutes later he was next to me with a glass of water in his hands.

'Thanks.'

I accepted the glass, bringing it to my lips. Sip after sip and the container was already empty.

'Me and you, could we have a good time?'

'We are not.'

I set the glass down on the small table as I got up from the couch. He stayed where he was, watching me leave. Ignoring him, I began to climb the stairs to go to the room where I woke up. Spending time with a person you hate is not the most pleasant pastime. I didn't care how he felt when I left him. He did me a lot of harm. His words, which he said while referring to himself, touched my heart. James needs a saviour, but it's not me, because I myself need one.

'Hailey!' He shouted.

'Yes?' I turned around, looking into his eyes.

'I won't leave you alone, so get down.'

'What? I just want to be alone!'

'Yes, to commit suicide again.'

'This is your fault.'

He turned, quickly putting on his shoes and grabbing his leather jacket. Slamming the door, he left. I pursed my lips as I walked into the room. Was he offended by the truth I told? I entered the room, laying down on the bed. I looked at the ceiling with my eyes, but my mind was in my thoughts and past.

Why can't I go forward without looking back? Why am I running backward when I need to run forward?

All day I lay on the bed, thinking about everything. It was already evening, but James did not appear. He wasn't here, apparently he went out for a drink with friends. I rolled over on my side with my back to the door, trying to fall asleep already. The door slammed, signifying that the owner had returned home. His footsteps were loud enough before they faded away near the room I was in. The door quietly opened and I saw the light fall on the floor and wall before my eyes. He sat on the bed behind me and I could smell the faint smell of alcohol and menthol. He gently covered me with a blanket. My eyes were open and I looked ahead, noticing his shadow.

'Forgive me, please,' he whispered softly, gently stroking me.

His voice was different, not the same as before, and I remembered the 'sorry' that the man told me when I was in the right building. It was all James. I didn't dream it, I didn't imagine it. It was James who came to me at night, saying a quiet 'sorry', and then left.

'I didn't mean to hit you.' He sighed heavily and I closed my eyes as the memories popped into my head. 'I'm sorry, Hailey. Just...' He trailed off, choosing his words. 'What if you can kill my demons?'

I closed my wet eyes, feeling my tears roll onto the pillow. It's hard to hear someone you hate asking for help, and the hardest thing to know is that you can't help them.

'I know it's hard to understand and forgive me,' he whispered, but with each word his voice became quieter and quieter.

I stopped hearing him, feeling how quickly and strongly the bed sagged under me. James's hand remained on my waist, but now it was weaker than a few minutes ago. After waiting a bit, I turned my head back, looking at Jay. His blond hair was disheveled on the pillow and his eyes were closed. I gently lifted his hand so as not to wake the guy and turning to face him, got up on the bed, remaining in a sitting position. His clothes were a little dirty, and I felt bad that he fell asleep like that in a clean bed.

But in any case, it was not his fault, it was just that his body was so severely depleted that he passed out.

The shirt was wrinkled with a few dirty spots on it, and the top buttons were undone before his abs began. My feet touched the cold floor, after which I waited a bit for my skin to get used to such a sharp change in temperature.

With bare feet, I began to walk around the bed to get to his side. The guy groaned softly, and I stopped, afraid that he woke up. James rolled onto his back, continuing to sleep soundly. There was a slightly red stain on the collar of his shirt, and I thought it was blood, but when I got closer to him and leaned over to see it for sure, I suddenly realized that it was lipstick. Looking down at all his clothes, I noticed a few white spots on his black skinny jeans. There were many dark burgundy hickeys on James's neck and chest.

My chest tightened for some unknown reason at the sight of him.

A few minutes ago, he asked for forgiveness from me and wanted me to be his savior.

I was so stupid that I let his words at least somehow penetrate my heart.

He repented here near me, but a few hours ago he was having fun with a girl, drinking alcohol and smoking his favorite menthol cigarettes.