Showtime.
As if violence is an art form.
In Levi’s world, it is. But his world has become mine and although I’ve believed that I don’t belong I know now that’s not true. I entered this world eons before he entered my life. I’ve been a part of this macabre world from the moment I was born to an alcoholic father with a twitching palm.
Levi drives back hastily with the precision of someone who doesn’t know how to abide by traffic laws. I cling to the door in order to keep from awkwardly lurching across the car. He eyes me sideways and regardless of the silence stretching between us, I know those glances are how he’s keeping tabs on my safety.
Both physical and mental.
Maybe he expects the panic he’s come to know. The kind I’ve presented in the past. Whether it was walking out of his house, or fighting against an assailant at a sex club, but the confusion by my calm demeanor might become a vulnerability to him. He needs to focus on the man who is making an unannounced appearance at Silas’s.
The mansion rises ominously before us, an entity of uncertainty. Our futures hang tauntingly in the balance. I take a deep, shaky breath as Levi parks the car and barks for me to climb out. There’s no resistance on my side this time. I don’t fight what I know has to happen. I throw open the door, nervously peering behind us, before a strong hand encircles my wrist and pulls me along.
Levi’s hold is firm. Too firm. But I don’t question it within the chaos. Once we’re through the front door and the resounding slam of it closing pierces the still air, Silas appears. His expression still holds a hint of that sickening amusement, but seriousness dominates most of his expression.
“Leave it up to Jesse to ruin the fun,” Silas comments. Levi releases my wrist, his hand running down his face.
“He only sends Shriver for one reason,” Levi replies. He and Silas exchange a look I can’t quite read, but based on the hostility that radiates from them, it can’t be anything good. I fiddle with my fingers anxiously, willing myself to remain quiet while they figure out what to do next, but curiosity gets the best of me.
“What do they send him for?” I question, unable to bite my tongue long enough for the urge to be nosey to pass. Levi and Silas both glance at me, but I’m met with an aggravating silence. All I’ve ever done has been left in the dark and ridiculed and mocked for it. I shake my head, unwilling to accept their secrecy.
“Tell me,” I insist.
Levi curses before Silas excuses himself once more after they pass another look. Levi turns to face me, hands on my shoulders before they begin to stroke downward. I don’t know if he believes he’s calming more or if the movement is more for him, but I allow the touch - hell, I crave the touch - as he speaks.
“You are a smart woman. What do you think?”
“To kill me.”
Levi nods and the confirmation of my own suspicion is oddly like a slap in the face. I bite down hard on my bottom lip before I blink rapidly and try to shield my own panic.
“Okay…” I trail off. My heartbeat is racing enough to warrant a visit to a medical facility. If we don’t play our cards right, I’ll be scheduling a swift appointment to the morgue. “What about you?” I press quickly. At the mention of himself, he releases my arms and steps back.
“Jesse isn’t a straight forward man.”
Levi turns and begins pacing.
“He doesn’t just kill to make a point. Well, in your case he will, but the point isn’t for you. It’s for me.” He shakes his head as he begins to ramble and all I can do is watch with parted lips, and fear. “I thought bringing you there would remove the fascination. I thought I could change things so there wouldn’t be a repeat of the past. I thought wrong.”
“Levi,” I call, reaching out for him. My eyes move to my hands which shake. He huffs angrily, and takes them, yanking me into him. “So what happens to you?” He shrugs.
“It depends,” he begins, stroking my back as he wraps his arms around me. For a moment, I almost feel content with the idea of dying while within his arms. It’s sickening. I know. “It depends on the message he is trying to get across and to who. If he wants to make sure the men amongst his ranks don’t make my mistake, he will torture and kill me in front of them.”
The thought makes my face heat with anger while my vision becomes blurred with black dots that steal focus.
“No way in fucking hell,” I hiss as my body becomes stiff in his arms. “No. I won’t let that happen.”
Levi cups my chin, forcing my eyes to level with him.
“Don’t be fucking reckless.”
I bite my lip, sheltered by his embrace.
“I sold myself, didn’t I?”
He tenses, my implications having reached him. If I wasn’t reckless, I wouldn’t be here.
“Sasha, I fucking mean it-”
I interrupt him with a kiss. I expect him to shove me away. Especially when I am more than willing to throw myself in the crossfire to protect him.
“When will you realize that in the end, your control over me is boundless?” I utter softly against his mouth. He growls, eyes boring into mine intensely.
“Then don’t do anything stupid.”
“That’s not what I meant… every decision I make factors you in. You’ve caught me in your archaic web. I…” I trail off because even these words only circulating in my head sound insane and I haven’t spoken them aloud yet. “I would die for you.”
I can feel my father guffawing from the grave. Life has always been about one thing in his eyes, taking care of yourself. Selfishness was the driving force behind his actions and it appears it’s skipped a generation with me.
Levi snarls. He’s not enamored by the truth. He’s fucking pissed.
I don’t expect him to throw me over his shoulder. That stupidity is my fault considering he did it not even thirty minutes ago.
I don’t lay down without a fight. I pound my fists against his back and flail my limbs in the hopes he’ll become unbalanced enough to let me go. It doesn’t work. His hold is too strong. Too much experience in the captivity of others I presume. He lugs me past Silas who’s smirking at what’s unfolding before him.
“Levi, don’t you dare! Put me down now!” I scream, hoping I’ll break through to him, but his determination can’t be breached. “I am serious! What are you doing with me?”
He moves through the mansion, hallway after hallway until I lose track and am sure I won’t be able to find my way out. We come upon a door as my throat begins to feel hoarse and dry from the screaming.
After throwing open the door, I realize it’s a small, but cozy room. The walls are thick and there is one window that is in the shape of a circle that even I can’t fit through. He tosses me down onto the bed and whips around stalking out of the rooms without a spare glance.
“Levi!” I screech and move to the door where I pound my fists. I reach for the handle, eyes bulging as the finality of what he’s done dawns on me. “Unlock the door! Unlock it now or else-”
“I will not let him hurt you.”
His voice is soft on the other side. Maybe it’s the barrier of the walls and the thick wooden door, or maybe it’s the vulnerability that I occasionally get a peek of. It halts my pounding fists and makes a strangled noise of raw emotion leave my lips.
Levi.
My foolish protector.
Does he think he owes me for the life of my sister?
Does he believe the only way for penance is through sacrifice?
Because with him gone, I will truly be alone.
It feels more like a punishment to me.
I hear his footsteps for a moment until they’re too far away. Lost in the house. The worst part is not knowing if they’ll return.
Immersed within the walls of my newfound prison, I try and conjure optimism.
We could get out of this alive.
He could gallantly fight and claim me as his prize; What a pathetic prize.
I sniffle, only aware I’ve been crying when I look down and tears drop to my shaking fingers.
Just as I attempt to calm myself, the haunting sound of a car approaching interrupts and I’m back to where I started.