Chapter 83: Say It With Love

After the lunch ended, Mr. Aditya left again for the office. According to Mrs. Viona, if there was no important meeting, her husband always made time to have lunch at home.

Now I walked toward Kevan’s bedroom while carrying a tray of cookies made by Mrs. Viona. Slowly, I opened the door. I found Kevan sitting on the floor, leaning against the leg of the bed while strumming his guitar beautifully.

His half-lowered face looked very focused and serious. Kevan appeared far more charming when he was immersed in his music.

I walked closer and then sat beside him. I let out a long breath and pursed my lips.

Kevan glanced at me while continuing to strum the guitar, a faint smile appearing on his face. “What’s wrong? Why are you pouting?”

“If only I could play the guitar, I would definitely confess my love to you by playing the most romantic songs,” I answered honestly.

Instantly, Kevan stopped playing his guitar. He shifted his sitting position until he was fully facing me, then looked at me with an amused expression he could not hide.

“You are still planning to confess your feelings to me?”

“Of course,” I replied quickly. “I already said it earlier at school. If not for that, why would I come here?”

I folded my arms across my chest, trying to show my sincerity through my body language.

Kevan gently ruffled my hair and then chuckled. “Alright then, I’ll wait.”

He fell silent and looked at me intently. His expression showed seriousness, as if he was truly waiting for the words that would come from my lips.

He raised one eyebrow. “Come on, start.”

“Yes, just a moment.” I repeatedly moistened my lips, trying to drive away my nervousness so I could stay calm in front of him.

I suddenly felt confused. What should I use to confess my feelings? I had made no preparation at all. How foolish.

Alright, a poem then. Hopefully Kevan would not recognize who wrote this poem.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to recall each line of the poem I had once read.

In a soft and slightly trembling voice, I began to recite it, though I was not entirely sure.

“When the drizzle falls, like the sound of toy drums, the fairy children of the unseen world. And the wind sighs, lamenting and sighing. Oh, Narti, I love you! I—”

Before I could go any further, Kevan suddenly interrupted while holding back his laughter. “Wait a moment. The name you just mentioned is not mine.”

I opened my eyes wide. “That’s right.” I laughed stiffly. “Wait, wait. I’ll change it.”

Of course, his name was Kevan, not Narti. That was an excerpt from a poem by W.S. Rendra.

Inside my heart, I cursed.

Why did I not change the name first? Like this, it was obvious that I was merely memorizing it.

Damn.

Why was I suddenly forgetting so many things?

I focused fully, concentrating my thoughts to find another poem that would be more suitable for this moment.

I cleared my throat softly before starting another piece. “I want to love you simply, with words that the wood did not have time to say to the fire that turned it into ash. I want to love you simply, with signs that the cloud did not have time to convey to the rain that made it disappear.”

“I like that poem too. It is titled I Want To, by Sapardi Djoko Damono,” Kevan responded calmly.

I flinched. It felt as if lightning had struck right above my head. I truly felt humiliated for being found out for the second time.

I could only force a stiff grimace, cursing my own foolishness.

Kevan chuckled softly and then slowly set his guitar down. Suddenly, he reached out and held both of my hands. He looked at me with an intensity that made my heart flutter.

“You don’t need to quote poems or sentences from any book to win someone’s heart,” he said softly. “Just be yourself. Everyone will be impressed by something that comes from the depths of the heart, something sincere from the deepest feelings.”

“But I also—”

“I know,” he cut in calmly. “Have you always confessed your feelings like this before?”

I nodded shyly. “Yes. But they always accepted me after I read—”

I stopped before finishing the last word. An awkward smile appeared on my lips. It felt so embarrassing. Thinking back, most of the boys who had approached me really did not know where the poems I recited came from.

Kevan smiled in amusement. “Do you know why they accepted you?”

“Because the poems are beautiful?” I asked hesitantly. Then I quickly added, “Or because they were carried away by the poem I read?”

Kevan shook his head slowly. “No. It’s because they truly liked you. They liked your cute way of being, your personality, everything about you. Including me.”

My eyes widened, my mouth fell open. The palm of my hand suddenly felt cold within the warm grip of Kevan’s hand.

“For some reason, every time you are near me, I feel comfortable,” he continued. “You always manage to make me laugh and feel happy. I can never stop thinking about you, Frel. At first I was confused about my own feelings, but I realized them after feeling this heart race every time you are by my side.”

Kevan leaned his forehead against mine until our noses touched. My breath seemed to stop instantly. Looking at him from this close distance made every muscle in my body tense.

He curved a very sweet smile. His gaze was so deep, while his right hand reached out to gently caress my cheek. I could only remain frozen, captivated by his charm.

“I care about you, Frel. I love you.”

Kevan said those words in a soft, deep voice that felt warm in my ears. My eyes opened even wider. It felt as though all my joints went weak and my mind stopped working.

This was truly insane.

I was supposed to be the one confessing my feelings, but why was I the one receiving his confession instead? Had Kevan really just confessed his feelings to me?

“So? Are my feelings accepted?”

I blinked several times while looking at him, then spontaneously nodded firmly.

A few seconds later, I felt Kevan’s lips touch my forehead. He kissed my forehead for quite a long time, full of feeling. Reflexively, I closed my eyes, savoring the calm and comfort he offered.

“So, are we officially in a relationship now?” I asked with an innocent expression.

Kevan smiled faintly and nodded slowly.

“Seriously?”

Once again he nodded while chuckling at me. Instantly, my lips spread into a smile full of happiness.

Overwhelmed by uncontrollable joy, I immediately stood up and jumped while cheering.

“Yay!”

Today, the universe was truly on my side.

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