Chapter 129: Between Kenn’s Shadow and Kevan’s Sincerity

His gaze grew more intense, making me clench my hands in fear.

"Kevan, about what happened in the park earlier—" I tried to start, but my words were cut off when Kevan’s index finger touched my lips.

"Sst. No need to talk about it anymore." Kevan smiled, then stroked the top of my head. "Go inside. Sorry, I can’t stop by this time. Send my regards to Grandma and Grandpa."

Before leaving, he kissed my forehead and gave me a sweet smile. I froze.

Why is Kevan staying silent? He should be angry at me, right? Why can he still smile so gently? Doesn’t he know that with an attitude like this, he makes me feel even more guilty toward him?

"Why are you so kind, Kevan? Say something, get angry at me!" I screamed in my heart.

God, what should I do now?

I walked into the house like a robot. I ignored Grandma’s call inviting me to taste her new cooking.

"Frel! Just try a little, this is Grandma’s new secret recipe!" Grandma shouted from the kitchen.

I remained silent and kept walking, dragging my feet that felt as heavy as tons.

"Frel! What’s wrong with you? Grandma has been shouting until her throat is dry. I even made your favorite chili sauce!" Grandma scolded while putting her hands on her hips.

I stopped for a moment and looked at Grandma with an empty stare. "Grandma ... Frel is tired. Later, okay," I replied flatly.

"Tired or heartbroken? Your face looks like someone who has completely run out of energy, so messy!" Grandma retorted.

Grandpa, who was sitting and waiting while Grandma cooked, immediately turned toward me with a worried face.

"Frel, are you okay? Are you sure you don’t want to eat first?" Grandpa asked gently.

I just shook my head slowly. "No, Grandpa. Frel just wants to sleep."

"If this room starts shaking because you’re crying, Grandma will come up carrying a plate of rice!" Grandma shouted again from the kitchen.

Grandpa approached me with slow steps. He gently rubbed my shoulder. "Enough, don’t keep scolding her. Our granddaughter seems very tired," Grandpa said in a soothing voice.

Grandpa looked into my eyes with affection. "Frel, go rest in your room first. Later, when you’re refreshed, we’ll eat together. Don’t force yourself when your heart feels heavy."

I nodded weakly. "Yes, Grandpa. Frel will go upstairs first."

As soon as I reached my room, I threw myself onto the bed and closed my eyes.

Kenn’s face and his eagle-like gaze were immediately engraved in my mind. I missed him when his breath warmed the flow of my blood. I missed him when his smile jolted my heart.

Unconsciously, I reached for the big panda doll beside me. The doll with a combination of green and black colors that Kenn had bought for me at the mall back then. The doll he nicknamed “The Green Giant Doll” because of its color and large size, and the doll that managed to remind me of our time together even though those memories were filled more with arguments.

Now I miss those times. The times when I could laugh freely while teasing him, or when I got emotional hearing his sharp words. I sat cross-legged and lifted the doll in front of me. I looked at it more closely. From the beginning, I never imagined that the person who bought this doll would someday become the most important part of my life.

Let alone imagine it, I never even dreamed of it!

My gaze turned sharp, then I shook the doll with overflowing emotion. "KENN! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO COME BACK? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST STAY IN GERMANY!" I screamed hysterically right in front of the doll’s face as if the object could hear me. "Why did you have to destroy my peace with that stupid confession of yours, huh?!"

I shook the doll again as if it were Kenn. "Are you satisfied with making me feel like a crazy person? Are you satisfied with making me feel so guilty toward Kevan? Why were you only honest when I was already with someone else? Why, Kenn? Answer me!"

"Now what am I supposed to do when things have turned out like this, Kenn?" I said softly. "I love you, but I also can’t hurt Kevan."

I clenched my fists in frustration. "Stupid! You’re really stupid, Frel! Why are you still hoping for him? Why does your heart still tremble when he says your name?" I scolded myself in a trembling voice, full of self-hatred. "You should have stayed away from him, instead of letting his shadow take over your mind!"

My voice rose, until a loud knock sounded on my bedroom door.

"Frel! Who are you talking to in there? Don’t scare Grandma! You’re not possessed by some forest spirit, are you?" Grandma shouted from behind the door.

Grandpa added, "Frel, open the door, dear! Are you okay? If there’s a problem, tell Grandpa."

I ignored them, focusing only on the object in front of me.

I hit the doll with all my strength until I ran out of breath. My tears finally fell, soaking my cheeks. The image of Kevan’s sad smile crossed my mind again, making me shake my head quickly.

"Oh God, why do I have to remember that smile now? God, what about Kevan? He’s too good to be hurt, yet I’m thinking about another guy when I already have him," I sobbed with guilt choking my chest. "I’m a bad girl. I’ve truly betrayed Kevan’s sincerity!"

I hugged the doll tightly, burying my face in it. "I can’t hurt someone else’s feelings just to achieve our happiness, Kenn." I sobbed softly. "Don’t force me to become a bad person, Kenn! Don’t force me!" I cried into the doll’s fur.

Outside, Grandma’s voice slowly faded. "Enough, my husband, it seems she needs some time alone. Maybe it’s a youth problem," Grandma whispered sadly.

My crying broke out, heartbreaking in the silence of the room. I could only hope that whatever choice I made later would be the best for all of us.

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