It has been two months since the Maya/one-night stand incident and I'm not exactly doing much better but I'm toughing it out. I woke up this morning feeling more than a little nauseous, again. This has been going on for about a month now and it's pissing me off to no end. Thank goodness I didn't have to go to work, I had invested about half of my trust fund into several businesses and start up's so all I do is sit my pretty ass down and get paid.
I knew I had to go see a doctor but I was scared that the result would be what I feared it to be, but then again if it was that, I need to know so I can begin planning my life and that of the little one. It was with that spirit that I booked a doctor's appointment and prepared myself to go.
I sat in the waiting room in the maternity section of the hospital and awaited the result, I could have bought a test but I wanted the most accurate results.
"Miss Amanda Brown."
I jerked as I heard my name been called by the nurse. I stood on unsteady legs and walked into the office and sat on the chair the doctor directed me to.
"Good evening Miss Amanda "
I simply nodded, I didn't trust myself to speak.
"Your test results are here and congratulation, you're two months pregnant!!!"
Shit!!!
What was I going to do?
I am just 18, I don't even have my life straight much less prepare for a newborn. How the fuck was I going to cope!!!
"Ma'am, if you don't want the baby, there are a variety of options for you. You could consider adoption..."
"No, I'll do it."
I don't know where that boldness came from but I knew that I could do this. I'm Amanda fucking Brown. I am made of steel.
I could feel a new wave of energy flowing through me. I could do this, Tony or not.
...
"Mommy, I want a sandwich"
"Coming honey."
It's been two years since I had my little ray of sunshine, Michael. The nine months of my pregnancy was the most difficult period of my life and not having anyone to lead me through that very important journey took its toll on me.
I had my mood swings alone. I had my weird cravings alone. I cried alone. At that point in my life, I just wanted family close. Well, it's a pity I don't have any. I do but I just haven't made time to go see them. It's not like you can just pack an overnight bag and go to England to see your mother's people.
I made Michael his sandwich and gave it to him after setting him up in his high chair.
"Thank you, Mommy."
I ruffled his hair and went to pour myself a glass of orange juice, picked my phone from the counter, and took a seat at the little dining table. I began to scroll through Facebook when I saw a video from Maya, I just didn't have the heart to block her, she was still a sister to me.
In the video were Ashley, Tim, and Maya and It was her birthday party. Ashley and Tim were all over her and I could see Mrs. Santiago, she didn't look too happy. I should call her, tell her about Michael.
I went up to my room for my laptop and after cleaning up Michael, I settled on the sofa and placed a video call to her. Her face popped up on the screen on the second ringand she began to scream so loud I was scared for My ears.
"Hello to you too Mom."
"Amanda, it's been two whole years. I've missed you so much, mi Amor"
"I've missed you too."
"Honey, I found out what happened. Even I don't approve of this relationship they're in, I tried..."
"No, it's okay. You don't have to explain. I want you to meet someone."
"Really?"
Yeah. I called Michael over and sat him on my lap.
"Mom, meet Michael, my son. Michael, that's your Gam Gam."
"Hullo..."
Michael buried his face in my neck while Mrs. Santiago just kept staring with her mouth wide open.
"Now you listen to me kid. You have 4 hours to show up at my door with that kid else..."
"But Maya..."
"I'm sending her away."
And with that, she hung up. I guess we're going then.
I wrapped Michael up because it was a bit chilly outsideand prepped his bag with a few snacks, his yogurt, and diapers. I freshened up and decided that just in case I run into Maya or Tim, it would be nice to look good. I wore a pair of jeans tucking them into brown ankle boots, I wore a nice black turtle neck top and made my hair into two simple cornrows and let it down. I decided to go for a simple natural makeup look and a black coat and handbag.
I had to adjust my whole wardrobe because of some of the baby fat that just refused to go, I was now much fuller. My ass, boobs, and thighs got a little thicker.
"Michael Honey, we're going to see Gam Gam."
"Yayyy!!!"
He raised his hands for me to pick him up and I was so tempted to tell him to use his damn legs. He was always so excited whenever we had to go outdoors.
I placed him in his car seat and we began the journey to Santiago's.
We arrived in a couple of hours as we live almost on the other side of town, I wanted to reduce whatever risk of running into anyone who wasn't me or Michael.
I rang the doorbell and the door opened with a swing and Mrs. Santiago attacked me like a hurricane.
"It's so good to finally see you, child. Come on in".
"It's good to see you too, mom."
We sat and talked like old friendsand I have to admit that it was good to finally have someone to talk to. I gave her my address and told her to come to visit anytime as it was time to go home. She followed me to the door and as I opened it to step out, I saw Maya and Tim. We stared at each other for a while before Mrs.. Santiago broke the awkward silence.
"I'll call you Amanda, and I'll surely come to visit. Bye Muchacho."
Michael giggled at the nickname and waved to Mrs. Santiago while Maya and Tim just stood there staring, I could feel their eyes on my back as I walked back to my car and then I was internally grateful that I came with my new Range Rover Sport.
Petty right?
Well, I am the queen of petty.
On the drive home, I realized that I didn't want to be alone anymore plus it would be good for Michael to have family apart from me in his childhood. I thought about finding Tony and telling him our one night of passion yielded something beautiful but I could still hear his voice in my head calling me a whore, so I decided that I was going to England.
I think it's time I meet my mother's people.
...
We touched down in London two days later at about half-past three in the afternoon, Michael was so cranky from the long flight that I had to keep giving him sweets and chocolate to pacify him. I know it's a bad combination but what's a mother to do?
I hailed a cab and he took us to the hotel. I enjoyed a little sightseeing, London was beautiful and the people were beautiful too. The hotel was a work of art and the staff deserved awards for giving top-notch service.
I took care of Michael and had a bath while he napped, I was hungry so I ordered food service for myself and Michael. They even have a kiddies menu!
I sat and browsed through my phone looking at pictures of my family, I have been doing this since I discovered that Mom had relatives after all. I would be on my way there tomorrow and to say I was nervous would be making a mockery of the whole situation.
I heaved a sigh and looked at Michael, all this was for him. A tiny part of me wants to meet them but most of the decisions I've made since his birth was to make sure his life was going to be filled with so much love, something I didn't have the luxury of having.
I woke up bright and early and prepared to go see my mother'sparents. Michael was so happy that he was going to see the city and meet new people that he laid his questions to rest. They were beginning to get me pissed off.
I wrote out the address and gave it to the cab driver who took us there.
The place was like a freaking palace!!!
The building was so huge and had a Victorian vibe about it, after paying off the cabbie I walked up to the gates and was stopped by security.
"How can I help you?"
"I'm here to see my grandfather, Lord Weatherstone."
The man laughed hard and long.
"Sure, and I'm Beyoncè'sfirst son. It's nice to meet you."
"If I were you I'd be careful, you might not have this job for long."
"You're probably one of those whores trying to reap where you didn't sow."
Michael pulled my hair from where he sat comfortably on my hip and whispered in my ear. At least he thought he did.
"Mommy, big meanie!"
I nodded my head as the man scrunched up his face, he was about to say something nasty when a car horned behind me. I looked behind me to see two black SUVs, a window was rolled down as a guard opened up the gates and the mean guy went to the car. After a few careful deliberations, I was ushered into the compound and I stood at the doorstep waiting, with Michael standing beside me with his arms wrapped around my legs. He is usually nervous in environments he not so familiar with and where he doesn't see kids his age around.
An elderly man alighted from the car, I knew he was my grandfather because he had my mom's eyes and nose. He walked to me and stood in front of me, his eyes met mine and watered slightly. His voice sounded raspy and tired.
"Beatrice?"
"No, not Beatrice. Amanda, her daughter."
Time froze for a minute as the old man gasped and looked at me from my head down to my toe and then I was in his arms and he was squeezing the life out of me. For a man this old he was quite strong.
"I heard she gave birth but she didn't want to bring you or want me to come over."
"Well, I'm here now."
Michael tugged at my gown, forcing me to bend over to hear him.
"Mommy, who that?"
"Meet your great grandfather. Lord Harry Weatherstone."
Grandpa looked at Michael and began to cry. I almost did too, I could have been here sooner if not for a certain someone.
"Hi"
Harry just smiled and then he looked at me.
"Let's take this inside child, we have much to discuss."
We went in and talked and talked and talked. We talked through lunch, we talked about my mom and how she died and boy was he pissed about it. We talked about Henry and Ashley, he said he had warned her about him, we talked about how he tried to claim my inheritance and how I dealt with it.
"You are truly my granddaughter."
And then we laughed about my story but then he asked me about Michael's father and the joke was over. I wasn't sure I was ready to give him details just yet.
"Is it okay if we leave that particular topic alone for right now? I promise to tell you about it but not today."
He simply nodded and smiled.
"Hey, what about grandma? Haven't seen her since I got here."
The light disappeared from his face, he took a really deep sigh and reclined on the couch beside me.
"She succumbed to cancer about 5 years ago. It would be her memorial in two weeks."
I scooted closer to him on the couch and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest, under his chin. It took him some time but he hugged me back and it felt really good.
"You know, Savannah would have loved you. You look so much like your mother and you talk like her too."
We stayed that way for a couple of minutes until the grandfather clock chimed 5:00 pm. I stood up and began to make my excuses.
"I would love to stay but I have to go."
He sprung from the couch and his face held alarm.
"What do you mean you have to go? You just got here."
"I know but I have to go back to the hotel, I and my son's things are there. And we're meant to leave England in a week."
"What?!"
"Yeah, I wasn't exactly sure how you would take to been told you have a granddaughter you haven't seen before so I might have booked my return ticket."
"That doesn't matter, I already told the housekeeper to set up a room for you and my grandson. You can get your things tomorrow."
"What about my son's clothing and stuff."
"I'll send people right now to go get it... and how soon can you move in?"
"What?! Isn't that too soon?"
"I know it is but I have wanted something from Savannah to hold on to, Beatrice was never here and now you've shown up on my doorstep I'm not letting you go. Please child, allow me to enjoy my last days with you."
I didn't want to say No. I wanted to stay, it felt nice having someone care for you and for you to care for them in return.
Wasn't this the reason why I came to find him in the first place?
"Okay, why not?"
"Excellent. Tell me the hotel you're staying in and I'll send people there to get your stuff right now."