Chapter 8

Frama-12’s new wizard didn’t want to lose faith, but hardly any of his incantations worked the way they were supposed to. Just the other day he had very carefully enunciated, “Dray-la-da-la-da-la,” to levitate a candle. Instead, he temporarily put his familiar into a deeply suggestive state. The failure had one positive effect. Kip had mastered the convincement spell.

In his tower laboratory, he attempted the vanishing spell daily. It involved a combination of vowel sounds that he hadn’t quite wrapped his tongue round. So far today, he’d only given his bunny-eared subject the hiccups. On the next go, it mutated into a long-eared pillow. He blurted the undo spell, snapping the hopper back to its original shape. Kip puffed in exasperation.

“You’re not saying it properly,” Willum squawked.

Kip glared at the black bird. “If you don’t want me to turn you into a pillow, start giving me positive suggestions.”

Willum swooped across the room and lit on Kip’s left shoulder. “Here’s a positive suggestion. Hoppers make delicious meat pies.”

Before he could begin his fiftieth attempt, a rap at his door stopped him.

“What now?”

“The queen wishes to speak with you in her meeting chamber, Master Wizard,” spoke a voice from outside the lab. “And, Master Wizard? Her Royal Majesty also requests that you bring your packet of magic cards.”

Kip sighed. Another study session interrupted. He never should have taught her to play blackjack. The fact that he always won had yet to dampen her enthusiasm for the game. Not even her councilmen noticed that he used a marked deck.

“On my way.” Maybe the distraction would clear his mind.

He entered the meeting chamber where the queen sat in her elaborately carved chair at the head of a felt-topped table. Her four-member council sat two to a side. Kip moved to the plain wooden stool at the other end of the table from the queen.

“Your Majesty. Gentlemen,” he greeted with a deep bow and took his seat.

Midway through the first round, a voga messenger entered. “Your Majesty, a heretic has been captured this morning during a snaps hunt.”

The queen studied her cards. “And what of the snaps?” she asked absently. “Did the hunters capture one of those as well? I don’t suppose heretics are a part of the hunters’ diet?”

“It is my understanding, Your Majesty, that the hunting party was successful. Apparently, the snaps followed the heretic onto the path where the hunters stood.”

“Thank you for your report. Carry on. We are in the midst of a serious consultation.”

“As you command.” The messenger strode to the door, then turned back. “Your Highness, the hunters wish to know what should be done with their prisoner.”

Zyke, the councilman on Queen Bogen’s right, leaned toward her and whispered loud enough for Kip to overhear, “Heretics must be dealt with, Your Majesty. Mustn’t upset the Brothers Ky, must we?”

The queen laid down her cards. “Very well. This session will have to wait. Master Wizard, accompany us to the throne room and observe our interrogation of the prisoner.”

Kip grinned. He loved the queen’s throne room. It looked like a golden auditorium. The entertainment, though a bit odd, was always good for a laugh.

“We will call upon your services should we decide to vanish the prisoner.”

He stopped smiling. Vanish the prisoner? “Your Majesty, I don’t think—”

“You mustn’t bring attention to yourself. Remain hidden unless called forth.”

She glided from the room, followed by her councilmen and then Kip.

The cavernous main hall’s deep silence was broken only by the slap of his sneakers on the polished marble floor. Despite what might be coming, the surrounding splendor lifted his mood. He’d visited dozens of castles in England, but none stole his breath the way this one did. Hundreds of golden candles glowed from crystal chandeliers. Plush tapestries covered the walls. Each one depicted a scene from began history.

He especially liked the tapestry that showed a small figure, flying high above the castle, its shoulders clasped in the talons of a regal gray bird. When he asked about it, his guide had explained that was how guards flew on patrol. It made Kip appreciate Framan ingenuity. They didn’t have cars or jets, but that didn’t stop them from moving swiftly from one place to another.

Currently, only candles set into the golden walls lit the throne room. The castle generated its own electricity, but the queen preferred candlelight until showtime.

Kip eased into a dark corner. He wasn’t too keen for her to learn he hadn’t yet mastered the vanishing spell. If he stood quietly enough, the queen might forget he was there.

In the darkness, he heard more than saw the audience members settle into their seats. A spotlight snapped on, bathing the low stage at the front in dazzling light. Polo, the court’s mel-yew jester, pranced to the stage on spindly legs, the light reflecting off his bald head.

“How many palm does it take to open the front door?” he said in a reedy voice. “One to lift the latch and five million to push the castle!”

The audience laughed heartily.

“Ever want to make a harris go crazy? Hide in the bushes and go like this—” Polo let out a high-pitched whinny. “They think it’s lunch.” He flapped his arms, imitating a winged harrik. “They’re looking for a colt in distress, and all they see are bushes. Makes ’em crazy!”

The audience hooted and applauded.

From Kip’s experience, Polo’s comedy act followed the same format. He offered silly examples of how the palm were strong yet stupid. He joked that mel-yew were smart yet weak. Polo always ended the set by praising the frog-like began for being both strong and smart.

Three-quarters of the way through the act, a pair of mel-yew buglers entered the back of the room and played a fanfare. The spotlight swung toward them, sending blazing light over their golden bugles. As the last note echoed off the walls, a knight in shiny armor stepped between the musicians. “Your Royal Highness, the heretic has arrived.”

“Send it forth,” Queen Bogen said in her deep voice.

The spotlight splashed its brightness into the eyes of the tall, willowy prisoner. Kip’s mouth dropped open. Winnie? How had she gotten here?

Two mel-yew knights in armor nudged her forward. She marched down the blue, plush carpet toward the throne with her head held high.

“Show respect for your queen.” The guards poked the backs of her knees with the blunt ends of their spears. Winnie fell forward into a kneeling position. Slowly, she raised her head. She stared open-mouthed at the queen. Kip imagined he’d looked just as surprised the first time he laid eyes on the region’s monarch.

The queen cocked her head and scrutinized Winnie. “What’s the matter with it? Why is its mouth gaping so?”

“You’re…you’re a big white toad,” Winnie blurted.

Kip clapped a hand over his forehead. Had the girl no diplomacy? Whoever heard of speaking to royalty like that? Besides, the queen was clearly a big white frog.

Queen Bogen blinked from Winnie to the guards. “What did it say?”

One of her guards stepped forward. “Your Royal Highness, it…” He cleared his throat. “Begging the queen’s royal pardon, it called you a white toad.”

“Why should it do that?”

The guard turned to Winnie. “Her Grand Majesty, Queen Bogen, wishes to know why you referred to Her Royal Eminence as a white toad.”

Winnie said directly to the queen, “You look like one. And you’re all white.”

“Your Majesty,” said the guard. “It has just made the keen observation that Your Royal Highness is white in hue.”

“What did it expect? Green with purple spots? We happen to be an alpeens voga.”

“Albino,” Winnie corrected.

“Did it just sneeze?” asked the queen.

“No,” said Winnie.

Kip shook his head. If she wasn’t capable of tact, couldn’t she at least keep still? The fool was going to get herself banished. Or worse, the queen might call him forward. If Winnie recognized him, what might the queen think? That he, too, was an adversary? He’d worked too hard to gain her trust to lose it now. He closed his eyes, silently willing the girl to keep her mouth shut.

And of course she didn’t. “I was just saying the correct pronunciation is al-bi-no.”

The queen scowled at the guard. “Did it just address us directly?”

“Surely not, Your Highness,” said the guard.

“Sure I did,” said Winnie.

The queen’s pink eyes bulged. She sputtered and gasped. “Such insolence. Keep it silent, or we shall order both your executions!”

Kip’s heart thudded. The queen had never threatened to kill anybody before. He swiped at the perspiration dampening his upper lip. If only he knew the correct pronunciation to cast an obedience spell on the blighted girl.

The tiny knight whispered something to Winnie.

She glared back. “That is the nuttiest thing I ever heard. Look, Your Majesty.” She rose. “I’m supposed to be the general.”

“What did it just say?” the queen demanded.

Winnie clicked her heels together and saluted. “General Windemere Harris, reporting for duty, Your Highness!”

The knight looked from Winnie to Queen Bogen. “Your Majesty, it appears to be under the delusion that it’s some sort of milit’ry figure.”

“Did it call itself Harry? We once knew a voga went by the name Harry. Ruddy boor, Harry was. He’s dead, you know,” the queen said with a conceited sniff. “Lost him to the hunt.”

“I’ve heard about the hunt,” Winnie said.

The queen sniffed again. “Our fame precedes us.”

“Do you hunt snaps?”

“Grand Maker, no! Fancy us chasing after snaps. That’s mel-yew work, hunting snaps. No, we hunt the hopper, a much more civilized sport.”

“Hopper, wags, and glunt,” Winnie recited.

Kip raised an eyebrow. How’d she know all that? She’d only just arrived.

Queen Bogen leaned forward. “It seems to know quite a bit about us. Is it a spy?”

“No, Your Majesty. I’m a warrior, here to train your army.”

“We believe your assumption was correct, Sir Knight,” the queen said. “This creature is clearly demented.”

Winnie frowned. “Does the name General Takka mean anything to you?”

While astonished gasps sounded from the audience, Kip frowned. All this time he’d been playing at knowing the bloke. Winnie spoke the name as if she actually knew who he was.

Queen Bogen turned her head toward the short table occupied by her councilmen. “Zyke, I believe we have a spy before us. Come and assist us with the questioning.”

The tan voga walked with a springy step to the queen’s throne. He cocked an eye at Winnie. “Interesting garb,” he said. “Could you please ask it to explain that rather large medallion, my queen?”

“What, this?” Winnie lifted the binoculars that hung from the strap around her neck.

“When we are present, you will respond to questions addressed by us only!”

“I thought you just said I wasn’t allowed to talk to you.”

The queen slammed her scepter against the floor. “You’ve been speaking with us all along, whether we wished it or not. Now that we command it, you address our councilman. Is there no end to your effrontery?”

Kip shook his head, bewildered. He never had trouble communicating with the queen, but then he knew how to behave in a respectful manner. If Winnie had done the same, the pair might be having a friendly chat over tea instead of the absurd interview currently taking place.

“Sorry.”

To Kip’s ear, she didn’t sound the least bit apologetic.

“If we choose to speak beneath us, the least you can do is answer us when we pose a query. Now then, what is that large, rather awkward medallion you wear round your neck?”

Winnie slid the strap over her head and held out the binoculars. “You look through the lenses,” she said. “They help you see things that are far away.”

“It’s a trap, my queen,” Zyke spoke into her left tympanum.

“Remove the medallion immediately!” Queen Bogen roared. “The heretic spy is trying to assassinate us!”

Mel-yew knights clattered toward Winnie. They pointed their spears an inch from her throat. Another guard snatched the binoculars. Kip sucked in a breath of air. If only he’d learned the incantation for the “spell of protection.” All he could do was silently pray for the blades to come no closer to Winnie.

“Careful,” Zyke said. “It could be some sort of exploding device.”

The knight stiffened. The royal guests screamed and ducked under their seats. Zyke yanked Queen Bogen behind her throne. Even the guards let go of their spears and dropped to the ground.

Kip breathed relief now that Winnie’s neck was no longer in danger. He waited for the outspoken girl to clear up the misunderstanding. She just shook her head and smirked.

Queen Bogen shoved her advisor aside. “Guard, take the medallion away. We refuse to cower behind the furniture all evening.”

“I shall have it analyzed, my queen,” the knight said in a nervous whisper. He tiptoed from the hall, armor rattling.

The doors closed behind him. The remaining guards returned to their feet. Everyone else came out of hiding.

Queen Bogen resettled onto her cushioned throne and pointed her scepter at Winnie’s canteens. “Are those more bombs?”

“Seriously? It’s just…oh. Wait. I probably should have told you this first.” She held up the canteen on her right. “Takka told me to bring this as a gift, um, for the queen.”

The queen straightened. “A gift?”

“Your Highness,” said a guard, “the containers hold what the Brothers Ky claim to be water more pure than that of your spring.”

“The prisoner just said it was a gift.”

“Your Highness,” Zyke said in a warning tone. “Mightn’t we have it examined first?”

“We’ll do just that.” Queen Bogen raised her scepter. “Brothers Ky, come witness. Page, bring forward a crystal.”

A mel-yew monk rose from the audience and bowed to the queen.

A young gray-brown voga page bounded to the front of the throne room with a crystal goblet in hand. The guards confiscated Winnie’s canteens.

The page held the goblet while a guard poured the canteen’s spring water into it. The monk immediately knelt and chanted, “Ahh-tee-ooh.”

The others in the room whispered eagerly to one another.

The page handed the water-filled glass to the queen. She clasped the long stem with four knobby fingers and held it toward the light. When Queen Bogen raised the glass to her mouth, her subjects shouted in alarm.

“It could be poisoned, Your Highness,” Zyke said.

“Impossible. Look at the liquid’s clarity.” Queen Bogen took a dainty sip, then drained the glass. “As we suspected. Not poisoned at all. We shall have another.” She held out the goblet. The knight in charge of Winnie’s canteens poured more water into her glass.

“You’re welcome,” Winnie said. “For the gift. Does this mean I’m not a heretic anymore since you drank it too?”

Queen Bogen paused with the glass partway to her lips. “You are our prisoner. This means you are forbidden to speak without our consent. However, since the question, ignorant though it may be, has already been posed, we shall explain. All water of this realm is guarded and preserved for us alone. And anyone we jolly well choose to share it with.”

“That water isn’t from your realm,” Winnie said. “It’s from my home. We’re good now, right?”

“One gift cannot even begin to negate your crimes,” said the queen.

Winnie chewed her bottom lip.

“Prisoners bore me. Do you have anything else you wish to say before we cast you into the dungeon for all eternity?”

“Your ocean stinks!”

“Now it’s a critic,” said the queen. “Take it away.”

The Brothers Ky bowed. “Begging the pardon of Your Honorable Highness, could our brotherhood torture the heretic? Just for a bit?”

“Granted.”

Kip forced his mind still. No one would torture a fellow human on his watch. Once alone with the queen, he’d use his newly discovered convincement spell to set things right.

Winnie’s guards yanked her toward the back of the throne room. “Wait, please!” she cried out. “You can’t do this. I know something about your wizard.”

Kip gulped. He had hidden himself perfectly in the shadows. How’d she know he was here?

“Halt!” Queen Bogen ordered.

Winnie stopped fidgeting. The guards stiffened at her sides.

“What about our wizard?”

“He’s an impostor. Takka only sent me.”

Kip hissed under his breath. He planned to rescue her, and this was how she repaid him.

“The Brothers Ky shall postpone their torture of this prisoner,” the queen decreed. “This is no ordinary spy. Take it to the questioning cell.”

“By your command,” said the head knight.

After the door banged shut behind them, the queen turned toward Kip’s side of the room. “Master Wizard, we wish to have a word with you.”