I stopped there itself near the entrance. I tried to explain him but he gave a look which asked me to stop my words. It has been one hour still he didn't speak to me nor did he allow me to enter inside the house. He had his breakfast and getting ready. That girl is helping him to wear blazer, watch and everything. They both were smiling and were very happy. Randhir talked lovingly to her. He got ready and hugged her, placing a kiss on her forehead. He stepped out to go to the office and I held his hand.
"Randhir, please talk to me. Please allow me inside."
He looked at me seriously.
"Who are you?"
"Randhir...... I am your wife."
"Really? Did you remember that now? If you knew it before, you would not go out without my permission and stay with someone else for even days. Do you think that I will forgive you and still accept you as my wife?"
"Randhir, please understand me. I didn't do anything wrong."
"Sakshi, I already took a decision the day you went out from this house without informing me. You will never change. I am tired of trying to change you. I am going to marry Sneha. Your luggage and the divorce papers will be sent to you soon. Now leave the house."
"Randhir..Randhir please. I am sorry please."
My eyes filled with tears. I know I did wrong and his anger was justified. But I can't leave him because I love him. I didn't understand what to do. Suddenly I felt dizziness and everything went blank before my eyes. I felt Randhir holding me in his arms. After sometime I came into conscious. I looked around. I am on the bed in my room.
Randhir sat beside me. I didn't find any of my things in the room. It's different. I looked at him.
"Now this is Sneha's room. She is staying here from the last seven days. Now there is no place for you either in my heart or home."
"Randhir, please give me a chance."
"I want wife who loves me but not who loves someone else. When I found you are not married to Ajay, I misunderstood that maybe you are still loving me. But you proved me wrong. I realised that you still love Ajay. Just leave the house."
"You get married to Sneha but allow me to stay here, please."
I closed my eyes which filled with tears while saying that. I don't have any other way to stay there. Only if I stay there, I can gain his trust and love back though still I didn't understand how to make him understand that I love him so much.
"Ok but you will not be given a separate room. You will be staying here just as a maid to me and my would be wife. If you agree to this then stay here or else leave."
"I will stay here."
We went downstairs and Sneha is waiting for him.
"Sakshi is staying here."
"What the hell, Randhir. I can't accept this. I agreed to accept your child but if Sakshi stays here, how can I stay here?"
"She will stay here as a maid not as my wife."
Sneha just looked at me and went off from there. She came again and threw her clothes on my face.
"Go and wash them with your hands, not in the washing machine."
I looked at Randhir but he didn't look at me nor care for me. They both left for the office. In the evening, they returned home. He is killing me without talking even a word. I couldn't bear seeing him close with Sneha. Now I realised how did Randhir feel when I moved close to Ajay.
I served food to them. It was split on Sneha's dress by mistake.
"How dare you to spoil my dress?"
Sneha slapped me. Randhir didn't even look at me.
"I..I am sorry Sneha."
"Just get last from here."
I went into the kitchen. I cried a lot. I decided to leave the house. I can't take it anymore. I called to my mom.
"Mom, I..I am coming to home."
"Is everything ok, Sakshi? Did anything wrong with Randhir? We are coming. We will talk with him."
"No, no, maa. Everything is fine. I am coming because Randhir told me to stay with you for a few days as I got conceived. That's it, mom. Nothing to worry."
"Ok, Sakshi. We will come tomorrow to pick you."
"No. I will come by myself."
I disconnected and turned back. Randhir stood there looking at me. I thought to move but he held my hand and pulled me close to him.
"So finally you decided to leave me, isn't it?"
I didn't understand what to say. He held me by waist and slowly moved his hands over my neck. I can't speak even a word. I didn't know what he is doing to me. He raised my head to make me look at his eyes. I remembered Sneha suddenly.
"Leave me, Randhir. If Sneha sees....."
He locked my lips with his lips. I didn't react initially with anger. He stopped kissing me.
"Do you have any problem with reactions? It doesn't taste good if kiss is just one side."
"I...I am..I mean...you are..angry at me. Sneha...you are..going...to...marry Sneha."
He kissed me again. Slowly I responded to him unintentionally. Maybe even my heart is not ready to listen to me. It is responding only according to him and not me. He picked me up in his arms and took me to the room. Now I am on the bed and he is still kissing me. He stopped kissing and looked at me with a smile. My heart beat increased rapidly with his sudden behaviour. He is unpinning my sari.
"No, please leave me."
"Why? Aren't you my wife or don't I have rights over you?"
"No, you have all the rights over me," I said as he touched my bare belly drawing patterns.
"So do you mean you don't like me and that's the reason you are denying me my right?"
"No, Randhir. You are going to marry Sneha,so..."
He kept finger on my lips to stop me speaking.
"Don't dare to say no to me. You will be my maid whenever I want and my wife whenever I wish to have you. Whatever I do to you, you should accept it without saying No. You should take whatever I give you whether it's love or hatred. Otherwise your life becomes more worst than now."
I felt to push him away with all my force and run away from him. But I do not know why my heart is not listening to my mind. My heart doesn't want to hurt him by denying his right though he is hurting me a lot with his words. He removed my sari throwing it on the floor. I decided not to stop him because I understood my inability to stop him as I love him.
"Just tell me that you don't like me. Then I will leave you."
How can I say that I do not love him when I love him so much? I nodded in no.
"Then stop crying and just give me my right. But the fact is I love your tears."
I closed my eyes as he already took control over me.
"What you are facing today is just a beginning, my dear. You will face more. But remember you are not allowed to leave the house. If you leave this house or quit your life, your family and Ajay will come onto the streets. I can go to any extent for my revenge against you."
He bit me on my neck making me to scream.
"Quite. I will make your life a hell. You will feel that the death is better than living this life. Your pride, greed on money and everything goes off from you. You will become my slave who can't escape from me. How were your seven nights with Ajay? Better than those with me?"
If I don't love him, I would have killed him by now for his words. Tears are flowing from my closed eyes. Suddenly I felt him catching my hair tight.
"Open your eyes."
I didn't want to see him. I got aversion at him with his words by now.
"I said open your eyes," he shouted dangerously.
I opened my eyes. His eyes were red with anger. He made me to stand from the bed by pulling my hair. He left hold on my hairs. He took the belt frightening me. I stepped back pleading him.
"Randhir, please trust me. I didn't betray you. Ajay is on the hospital bed. Nothing happened between us. I stayed there as he has no one."
"Did I tell you that you must take my permission before leaving the home?"
"Ye...Yes."
"Did you take my permission?"
"No. I am sorry. Please."
I understood that he is very angry.
"Where is your hand bag? Give me your wallet or else.."
I ran immediately to the cupboard and gave him the wallet. He took the cards and broken them. He burnt my cheque book and passbook.
"Now you can never use your cards anymore. Now wear your sari and leave the room. Complete the remaining household works and sleep in the maid room. Get lost now."
I immediately ran from there. My eyes were already swollen because of tears. My heart started questioning me: is he really the same Randhir who loved and sacrificed everything for me? Is he the one who taught me what is love? Is my betrayal the only reason for his change? Now he totally became a heartless person. What should I do? If he marries Sneha, then what would happen to my life and my child?
No, I can't let him marry Sneha. I must do something to make him trust me. Should I become Sakshi Arora to save my life and relationship with Randhir? or tolerate his torture lifelong as I did wrong?