Chapter 44: Built to Break

LUCIAN didn't come home for days, almost a week.

At first, Lena made herself believe that he's busy with his thesis prototype, or maybe he was angry because of what he witnessed that night. But the silence, his absence during meal time, was already suffocating and tormenting.

No texts, nor calls. He completely disappeared like he wanted her to forget him.

Lena could feel the undeniable distance. Like Lucian did it purposely. Avoiding her. Right after she gave herself to him.

Was it nothing to him? Did that night even mean something to him? Because she felt him that night. The way his lips claimed hers. The way he touched her. The way he looked at her. And even until now the memory of that moment in the pool was still vivid in her mind.

She couldn't forget it. Or maybe that was his intention.

He tempted her, and she surrendered.

Now he is gone.

Does it even make sense? He insisted that he likes her romantically, and he showed it. In his actions, words, and stares. But what is this now? Why is he not here?

If she didn't give in, would he disappear like this?

The nights were the hardest for Lena because it was the time she'd miss him so much. She would stare blankly at her phone and would flinch whenever it beeps only to be disappointed after receiving social media notifications.

Her routine was the same, but boring now. No teasing. No stolen glances. No mischievous smirk. No playful wink.

Lena should be happy that Lucian finally stopped, but she couldn't. Instead, his indifference hurts her.

Until one Saturday afternoon, after taking a nap, she saw her daughter downstairs, eating ice cream.

Lena rushed to her daughter and looked at the container of the ice cream. The same brand Lucian buys for Angel.

"Where did you get this, Angel?" She asked gently, but her heart wouldn't calm down.

The little girl looked up at her, lips were stained by mango sweets. "Uncle Lucian gave it to me."

Lena gasped as her eyes automatically looked around to search for him. "Where is he?"

"He left." Lena looked at her daughter because of that. He left. Already?

Lena slowly sat on the chair beside Angel, watching her as she ate the ice cream enthusiastically.

"Mama, he went here yesterday too," Angel said, bringing Lena's gaze back to her.

"He did?" Lena was even more shocked and...hurt.

"Yes." Angel smiled and nodded. "He was at my school yesterday until the driver came to pick me up."

The heaviness in Lena's heart was even more emphasized. Is it possible to envy your own daughter?

Lena caressed her daughter's cheek, removing the mess of the ice cream. "What did he say?"

Angel smiled sweetly. "He promised to buy me ice cream today because I did well yesterday at school."

Lena smiled and nodded. However, the hollow feeling in her heart intensified.

He no longer sees her as a challenge. She's no longer useful to him.

The words lingering in her head were like knives, painful and dangerous.

But what can she do? Maybe that was the end for him.

The end of his...shallow desires.

She remembered the first time Lucian got so angry because Viktor kissed her. But now, there was no angry Lucian who confronted her. There was no cold treatment, just pure silence, indifference. Like he no longer cares.

The more she thinks about it, the more miserable she feels.

Lucian's indifference haunted her day and night, and even followed her to work.

"Miss Mendoza!" Miss Winnie's voice echoed in Lena's ears as she jumped on her chair, startled.

The strict secretary was standing in front of her table with face and neck so red, like she was so close to exploding.

Lena panicked as she pulled herself up. "Miss Winnie, I'm sorry. I was-"

"I don't care about your reasons," she snapped. "This isn't a place to daydream! You are here to work and I don't need your personal drama in the company. If you're not mentally prepared to belong in a professional environment, you are free to walk out of this building."

Lena sucked her breath and looked down, shutting her eyes tight. "I-I'm sorry-"

"Even if you're good at your job, if you're absent-minded during times like this, just leave." Miss Winnie's words were harsh, but Lena knows she's at fault. "If you can't separate your pathetic personal life from your work, the door is open."

Lena blinked, her heart clenched.

Miss Winnie shot her sharp glares when she tried to look at her. "You've been distracted for days. I'm sick of your dramas, Miss Mendoza! Not because we didn't care about your background doesn't mean you are free to do whatever you want. You are in a corporate world. Even if you're uneducated, you should at least pretend that you're interested in the job you begged for."

Lena felt embarrassment peeling her skin painfully. The employees on the floor are now looking at her like she was the first ever employee to make a mistake.

"This is the problem with uneducated people," Miss Winnie said again with a hint of prejudice. "....no discipline, no class, no breeding."

Lena felt like her hopes fell to the lowest end.

Miss Winnie's words cut so deep.

Uneducated. No discipline. No class.

The office air felt thicker with every word. Hot. Humid. Like shame had a temperature.

Was that why people never treated her fairly? Because she's uneducated?

Is that why Viktor treated her like she had no control, no voice? Because she didn't have the discipline to say no?

And was that why Lucian dumped her after claiming he likes her? Because she has no class? No breeding?

Lena felt hot liquid rolling down her cheeks. She immediately wiped them as she sniffed and sat on her chair again.

It was so hard to rebuild her self-respect and self-importance, but it only took less than five minutes to shatter them.

How unfair!

Later that night, she arrived home with messy thoughts and a heavy heart. She just checked if Angel was already asleep before she went to the kitchen to drink some water.

Eva, the young maid, was also in the kitchen when she entered.

Lena immediately felt insecure.

She heard Eva is in her last year in college. She's a maid, but still studying. She's also beautiful, sexy, and obviously not tainted by the world's cruelness.

This kind of woman is perfect for Lucian.

Lena almost made an audible, sarcastic laugh as she sat on the stool chair. She saw a liquor bottle and immediately grabbed it.

"Miss Lena, are you okay?" Eva asked, innocently.

Lena looked at her. How can she hate a nice lady?

She smiled and nodded. "I just need a few drinks. You can go to bed."

Eva nodded. "Sir Viktor left after dinner, Miss Lena. He told me to watch over you."

Lena was shocked as she stared at Eva. "He did?"

Eva nodded. "Yes, Miss Lena."

"Then, why are you telling me that?" Lena asked again, shocked by what Eva was thinking.

"Because I think you should know. And it would be uncomfortable for you if you find me watching you from time to time. I just want to inform you," Eva answered, like a real innocent woman.

Lena chuckled, sarcastic and sharp. She didn't know why, but she found herself envious of the girl's innocence.

"Go to bed, Eva," Lena murmured as she accepted the clean glass Eva gave her. "Thanks."

The half bottle of bourbon looked big in her hand but she didn't care. She poured some in her glass and drank it straight in one gulp.

The first drink burned her throat.

The second numbed it.

The third made her overthink.

The fourth made her feel pathetic.

The thick silence was deafening, but she continued drinking.

Shot after shot.

She didn't care until she realized her vision was already spinning.

She cupped her forehead and groaned as she got off the stool chair. She threw the empty bottle of liquor in the trash bin and washed the glass she used.

And then she walked recklessly.

Every step felt like her world was shaking.

She was holding onto the railing of the staircase so tight as she ascended. She was trying so hard to keep her vision clear, until her heel slipped.

"Ah!" Her heel twisted. The world tilted. Her scream cut through the silence.

However, it didn't happen.

She landed on a pair of strong and warm arms as a familiar scent filled her nose. Her heart immediately reacted to the familiar comforting scent.

She forced her eyes to open wide until she saw a man looking at her with the darkest expression he could have.

His jaw ticked. "Now, you've become a drunkard."