29 - Jack
For the first time in a long time, when I woke up, my mind felt clear and revitalized. When I thought back on all that took place the previous evening, I instantly sat up and looked at the space next to me. As soon as I realized it, my face sank, and my heart stopped beating.
That space on the bed was empty. There was no sign of Mom.
My veins were suddenly flooded with a chilling iciness that I couldn't deny. As I forced myself to get from the bed and walk away from it, I couldn't even begin to describe how I was feeling. Mom was supposed to be there, but she wasn't.
Had I just been dreaming about everything again? How many times had I dreamed of being with mom? Since I left the country to pursue that project, she had never left my thoughts when I went to bed at night, and she continued to do so even when we had stopped talking. My thoughts kept returning to her as if she were the only person in the world. All day and all night...
It had been her and no one else.
It was beyond my control. No matter how hard I tried to ignore the thought or pretend it wasn't there, I was unable to continue denying the truth. And even after I had returned, she remained the person whose thoughts I couldn't stop returning to. Every damn time.
Nevertheless, I hated her.
She never asked me what it was that I truly desired to do. All she wanted to do was what she believed to be right. She didn't even ask me to consider how I would feel, where I would be truly happy, and where I would be at ease living.
Sighing, I headed to the restroom in my apartment unit with disappointment in myself for allowing myself to "feel" for the first time in months. I had only recently purchased this flat, and the more I thought about the privacy I want, the more I became convinced that this idea was, in fact, the perfect idea after all.
My gaze traveled from the dining area to the kitchen before landing on the front door. Suddenly, I was startled by what I saw there. Behind the door was a piece of paper. After a brief glance, I realized it was my mother's handwriting, and my heart started racing.
"Sorry I didn't wake you up. There's no food in your fridge, Aki. Aki, your refrigerator does not contain any food items. Take a break from your work and visit me at home if you'd like. I will cook your favorite food."
Almost immediately, a joyful feeling spread throughout my entire body. Mom was inviting me to come eat with her. The way that she looked at me when we first met is one of the reasons why I haven't been able to go see her yet, even though I really want to. It seemed as though she didn't want to talk to me or even look at me at all. It retched my soul. Every time she looked at me that way, I felt uncomfortable and rejected.
However, given what happened between us over the course of the previous night, I will not pass up this chance. Mom still loves me. And she has no idea how much I love her in return.
While I was in the shower, I couldn't help but think about what had happened between us the night before. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was so caught up in it that my manhood was already standing in excitement as I imagined how delightful it had been for the both of us.
I inserted my manhood inside her a few times and even shot it multiple times while it was still inside of her. The groans of Mom... Her lovely screams ring out as I penetrate her with force and depth... Her face every time she came, her lips quivering as she called me and begged for more from me...
Ah, fck...
I didn't realize that I had already thought too much. My lower region became tense whenever I thought about my mother's low moans, and I tried to fight it off but felt helpless even more.
"Shit..." Words failed me once more. In the end, I had to quickly 'fix' my issue and left the bathroom in a complicated mood.
God, I really miss my mom. Even now, I'm itching to re-connect with her. I need to talk to her and spend time with her as soon as possible. I feel like I would die if I won't…
I got ready in a hurry and exited my unit as soon as I could. As soon as I opened the door of my car, my phone started ringing.
68 missed calls from Crista
I thought about it for a second, but in the end, I decided to turn off my phone once more. Even before it faded away, the screen displayed the name of another person. It was a message from Mom.
I did not waste any time and opened it straight away. She was inviting me to come to her house. When I finished reading it, I couldn't help but smile. I hastily put my phone down and started the engine to drive to the old condo that my mother and I shared before.
I didn't even think to turn off my phone thinking mom might message again and I wouldn't be able to read it right away. I started off by going to a restaurant I knew and liked and buying breakfast for both my mom and myself. In addition, I went out and bought a cake, as well as some baby food for our child, whom I have not yet had the opportunity to meet.
Amy… What does baby Amy look like? She is one year old by now. I wonder if she can already recognize people’s faces? Imagining how she would look and how it would feel to carry her had already made me giddy with anticipation. God, I want to see them both so badly.
When I got to the condo, I had the familiar sensation of inhaling the scent that had visited me for many nights. When I walked into the living room, the first thing that struck my attention was the crib that was off to the side. Almost instantly, I found myself smiling at the sight. I dropped the items onto the counter and walked up to the infant who was looking so cute while she was tucked in her crib.
"Amy?" When I first laid eyes on her, I felt such overwhelming joy that I thought my heart could burst. It was impossible not to adore her. Her cheeks and arms were fat, and when she looked back at me, I couldn't tell if it was just me, or if she actually had a sparkle in her eyes. The image almost caused my heart to stop beating entirely. She was just too adorable for words.
"Aki?"
As soon as I looked back, I saw mom standing there.
"Is this Amy, Mom?" I asked, unable to conceal the grin that was plastered across my face.
Mom beamed as she reached into the crib and pulled little Amy out. "Yes, she looks like you. It's the female version for you. Isn't that right, Amy? Are you excited that your big brother has come to see you?"
I was taken aback and instantly glanced across at my mother. "What? Big brother?"
"Aki, I just made some of your favorite meals. I'd like it if you stayed for the rest of the lunch. But Crista called a little while ago, and she reminded me that you had something planned for today, so you should also make it quick or else you'll be late."
"Mom, what exactly are you trying to say?" I asked my mother with a frown. Why was mom acting in this way and what was she talking about? I'm not merely "the older brother" of Amy. I am her father, and mom was well aware of that fact.
"Why? You need to eat and then go back home," Mom stated once more, which only managed to further break my heart.
After putting Amy back in the crib, she went into the kitchen to get some food. Almost instantly, I was able to catch up to her and hold her, turning her around to face me. I'm not going to let this happen to us.
"I'm Amy's dad, mom," I say with a lot of truth, my voice hard and steady as Mom's was. I made sure to emphasize each word, in case she forgot the truth itself. "I'm Amy's father. You know that."
"No," Mom, however, managed to surprise me even more. She looked away and seemingly trying to stifle her own emotions as she looked back at me once more. "Aki, she is your younger sister. And that is all there is to it."
"What? No, that's..." I tried to control my emotions and let out a shaky breath. "You know that's not the truth, mom. How can you say this? Last night--"
Without even giving me the chance to continue my sentence, my mother retorted, "Last night was nothing, Aki. We, we were just tired… and a little confused... But it's nothing. It meant nothing."
The moment Mom turned her back on me, I found myself reliving all of the same feelings that I had back in that time all over again. The only difference is that the woman who was facing me and speaking to me now had a more stubborn expression on her face while she was doing so.
Once more, I could sense that mom was making an effort to put distance between us. A terrible wall that she had always tried to use to separate us, always pushing me away, farther and farther until I was left with a pool of doubts questioning my own damn feelings for her and taking them so lightly as if they were nothing but a jumble of useless traps…
A helpless scoff came out of my lips before I realized it. I looked up, my eyes falling onto mom.
I'm not going to let it happen. Not again.
Not this time when I finally saw her and knew how it felt to be with her again.