I jolted awake, my heart beating erratically and my chest heaving, my mouth open wide in a desperate attempt to replace the air that was rapidly leaving my lungs. I swiped my hand across my forehead, my attempt to wipe the sweat off proving to be counterproductive as I was sweating all over. I looked up at the overhead fan whirling rapidly and wondered what it was I just saw.
The sheets enclosed me, twisted around me like a trap, threatening to take away what little air I had left. I kicked my body free of sheets and blankets and gained a moment of respite as the cold air made direct contact with my skin.
I had seen this dream again. No, this nightmare…that same woman. The water had called to me, whispering my name, urging me to submit to its depths. But this time, it wasn’t just a whisper. The water had roared, pulling at me with a force that felt all too real, as if it was trying to drag me under, to drown me in the secrets I tried so hard to bury. Even now as I sat still on my bed, I could still feel the pull of the ocean, calling me to its depth. Was this how Jamie felt?
I threw my legs off the bed and was forced to confront the mess I had made yesterday. Books were strewn all over the place, and my journal sat on my desk, its pages battling against the wind and losing. I jumped when I heard a sharp knock on my door, and my head instinctively went to the wall clock. I swore under my breath as I realized that I had missed breakfast. I sat still hoping against hope that whoever was at the door would turn around and go away. I had no such luck.
I sighed. “I’m coming…”
I took the few steps to my door and threw it open to Gabriel shuffling his feet and in his hand a covered ceramic brown bottle of water.
“Good morning,” he said, smiling at me.
My eyes fell on his lips and heat rushed to my cheeks. The events of the lighthouse still in my mind, I cleared my throat and stood to the side, allowing him entrance to my messy abode. I closed the door behind him and stared at his back, wondering if he was angry with me for the way I reacted the other day.
No. He wasn’t angry. Angry people don’t bring food with smiles on their faces. I sighed, he needed to understand that we could never be a thing. I was dangerous for him. I don’t want him to die.
“Wow…” he said, looking around my room. “It looks like a tornado tore this place apart.”
I laughed nervously and scratched the back of my head, gagging as my smelly armpit came in contact with my nose.
“Just…find a place and drop it on the table.”
He nodded and went over the table. I watched as he gently shuffled some papers out of the way and dropped the ceramic bowl on the table. I couldn’t shake the remnants of the nightmare as I watched Gabriel move about my room, his presence oddly comforting yet intensifying the guilt gnawing at my insides. He glanced over his shoulder, catching me staring, and I quickly looked away, my heart pounding harder.
He settled at the edge of my bed, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight.
“Oliver,” he began, his tone gentle but firm, “something’s wrong. I can see it in your eyes, feel it in the way you pull back whenever I try to get close.” His gaze was intense, almost burning through the layers of walls I’d built around myself. “What’s going on?”
I hesitated, torn between the urge to confess everything and the fear of dragging him into my cursed life. My eyes flicked to the journal on the desk, its pages still fluttering slightly from the earlier breeze. The temptation to lie, to push him away for his safety, was strong, but so was the connection that had formed between us.
Gabriel followed my gaze, his eyes narrowing slightly as they landed on the journal. “Is that it?” he asked quietly. “Does this have something to do with whatever’s in there?”
I bit my lip, fighting the urge to just say ‘no’. Instead, I found myself nodding, my throat tight.
“It’s… not something I can easily explain,” I managed to say, my voice rough. “But you need to understand that getting involved with me is dangerous, Gabriel. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Gabriel reached out, his hand brushing against mine, sending a jolt through me. “Oliver, I care about you. Whatever this is, I want to help. You don’t have to face it alone.”
His words were like a lifeline, pulling me from the edge of despair. But they also terrified me. I stood up abruptly, moving to the window, my back to him. The view of the ocean in the distance made my stomach churn. The water still called to me, a constant whisper in the back of my mind, just like it had with Jamie.
“My brother,” I started, my voice trembling, “Jamie… he didn’t just commit suicide.” I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “He was supposed to be the next in line, the one to answer the goddess’s call. But he refused her, and she made him pay the price. She made him…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence. I could still see Jamie’s face, twisted with despair, his lifeless body found by the same water that beckoned me now. Gabriel was silent behind me, the weight of my confession settling heavily in the room.
“The nightmares,” I continued, forcing the words out. “They're not just dreams. The goddess is calling to me now, just like she did with Jamie. And every time I close my eyes, it gets harder to resist.”
I felt Gabriel approach before I heard him, his hand gently resting on my shoulder.
“Oliver,” he said, his voice soft but insistent. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
I turned to face him, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. “Because I didn’t want you to look at me like that,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Like I’m broken. Like I’m cursed.”
Gabriel’s grip on my shoulder tightened. “You’re not cursed, Oliver,” he said firmly. “Whatever this is, we’ll figure it out. But you can’t shut me out. Not now. Not when you’re dealing with something this big.”
His words brought a sense of relief, but they also deepened the fear gnawing at my core. I wasn’t sure if I could protect him from the darkness that surrounded my life. But I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him either.
“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. “The water… it’s in my blood, Gabriel. It’s like I’m being pulled in two directions, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”
Gabriel pulled me into a tight embrace, his arms grounding me in a way I desperately needed. “You’re not alone,” he murmured into my hair. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it together.”
I clung to him, trying to believe his words. But deep down, the fear remained, an ever-present shadow reminding me of the power that loomed over us. And as much as I wanted to stay in this moment, I knew it wouldn’t last. The goddess was waiting, and sooner or later, I would have to answer her call.