Chapter 45- Mending Ties

Lale's hand faltered as she struggled to sketch in the book she was holding, guilt gnawing at her conscious. She tore the paper and curled it into a ball, throwing it into the other piles of her messed up sketches. That had been her state ever since her talk with her brother.

Could she have been too harsh on him? It was his fault anyway, he was the one who had made the stupid mistake of letting Najmah go, and she was only doing what a responsible sister would have done. Lale knew that telling him he was the same as the man who had fathered them was rather too harsh. In her defense, he was so stubborn and perhaps that was the only thing that could break through his charade of nonchalance.

Sighing, she dropped her pencil and leaned her head on the headboard mulling over their conversation. She only hoped he would forgive her for what she had said. Lale picked up her vibrating phone from the nightstand, a smile gracing her lips before morphing into a frown after the phone call. Just what she needed, note the sarcasm.

{••}

"Lale," Asil snapped a finger across her face, trying to get her attention.

"Sorry you were saying?" she snapped out of her thoughts, clearing her throat.

"You seem to be off today, or is it my company you do not desire?"

"No, that's not it," she shook her head, rising from her seat. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"What? Why?" His face contorted into confusion, rising from his seat also.

"I have to talk to my brother. I just..." she sighed, picking up her clutch from the table. "Rain check?"

"Lale..."

"I promise this time that I will make it. I just really need to speak with my brother. I messed things up and I have to apologise otherwise things would become really awkward between us. I don't want that to happen, he's my brother, and I can't focus on anything right now knowing that I hurt him even though right now all I want to do is bang his head on the wall so much that he'll get his senses back," she rambled on, stepping out of the restaurant with Asil following close behind. "You understand, don't you? Please say that you do."

"I understand perfectly well Lale," he chuckled, his laughter a deep rich masculine sound that always lit up her face whenever she heard it. "You can go now."

"Oh thank you," she unlocked her car then slid in, her smile intact. "I'll give you a call when I fix things up and then we can go out on a more perfect outing with no interruptions, it will be my treat."

"Lale Sadek, are you asking me out on a date?" he cocked his eyebrow, leaning into the door of the car.

"Lunch," she rolled her eyes, revving the car to life. He took a few steps back, watching her car as it drove away from sight, wondering what he was going to do about his crazy infatuation with her.

From the day they had crossed paths, she had dominated ever part of his senses and had refused to let him be. He had thought that spending time with her will get her out of his mind, but the more they meet and converse, the more dominating her thoughts were in his mind.

{••}

"Hey," Lale knocked on the door, rocking on her heels as Aslan's unwavering gaze met hers.

"Can we talk?" she questioned hopefully, wishing he wasn't angry with her. He kept mum, crossing his arms over his chest before giving her a curt nod.

She released a shaky breath before sauntering inside with unsteady steps.

"I'm sorry," she blurted, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I shouldn't have said what I said. It was wrong of me to compare you with...him and..."

She gulped when Aslan's gaze darkened, toying with her fingers. Neither said a word for a moment, the palpable tension rising with each second till Lale decided to put an end to it.

"Why did you let her go?" she queried, feeling a wave of bravado hit her. She moved closer to Aslan, folding her legs on the bed. 

"She is worth more than all I can offer. She is worth more than this..." Aslan gestured at himself, his voice quivering. "She is worth more than the lies I keep feeding her and the pain that comes with the truth."

"Why didn't you just tell her then?"

"She would have left either way, telling her wouldn't have made any difference."

"But what if you told her and she decided to stay?" her brows furrowed as she placed a throw pillow on her laps.

"She wouldn't. And even if she did, I'm scared of what might happen if I..."

"You haven't been what you're scared of might happen for over a year brother. It's been almost two years, and you are now...you are what you are supposed to be. Do not let the past ruin your present and your future. Do not let what happened in the past get in the way of your happiness."

"Lale," he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I did a lot of unthinkable and unforgivable things. It will be unfair of me if I string her along through my darkness. She knows not about the man that I was and what I have done."

"You did nothing wrong, brother," she sobbed, her heart breaking for her brother. How unfair was it for them to never be happy?

"He made you do all the things that you have done. He is the reason for all that happens, not you okay? He is the author of everything that you became but now...now you have a reason to fight back. You have to fight back whatever it is that is holding you back for the love that you have for her. You deserve to be happy, so go and be happy."

"Bedia..."

"Is dead," she cut him off, wiping away her tears. "You did not kill her, it was an accident. You became an addict because he forced you to and because...because you were trying to protect me. If you hadn't..."

She hiccupped, her sobs increasing as her entire childhood memories flashed through her mind. Her body shook with the intensity of her cries while Aslan sat immobile, silently sobbing over a childhood lost.

It was true that his father had turned him into an addict when he was younger, but he had chosen not to quit when he grew older. Either way, he was still responsible for his actions no matter who the influencer was and now here he was, several years later, still paying for his crimes.

"Ben çoküzgünüm," she buried her face in her palms. "I am the reason why you did all that you did. I was such a burden to you and I still..."

"You are not," his voice wavered, pulling her palms away from her face. "You are my sister and no matter what the consequences might be, I will always be there to protect you. I do not regret what I did when we were younger."

"But if I hadn't been born, he wouldn't have asked you to choose. Anne wouldn't have suffered and you wouldn't...there wouldn't have been any choice and...and..."

"Lalehan!" he called out sternly, cupping her face. "I forbid you to ever think that way. Your birth was the best thing that ever happened to us."

She nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. Aslan engulfed her into a hug as she sobbed silently, lamenting over her birth.

Things began to go wrong in her family after her mother had conceived her, and after her birth, Muhan had suffered immensly but Aslan... Aslan had sustained the most amongst them, and he still was suffering. Come what may, she would reunite him with Najmah; it was the least she could do after everything he has done for her.

She knew that getting Najmah back wouldn't be an easy fit, but she had to even if it meant dragging her by the hair all the way back to Istanbul, she'd do it if it meant her brother's happiness would return to him.

Lale couldn't tell Najmah the truth about her brother, he had to be the one to tell her; it wasn't her secret to spill. All she had to do was convince Najmah to come back to her brother then she'll toss the ball in his court. What he does after that would be totally up to him.

{••}

He stood by the doorframe and stared at the room where he used to share with the woman he thought was his forever. How stupid of him to believe that he could actually be happy, that he could actually forget his past and start a new life. He tried it once with Bedia and she ended up dead so how could he have let Najmah in, knowing what lies underneath his façade.

But could his family be right? Could he have an actual future with Najmah even after what he had done? Could she actually accept him and the baggage that comes with him? Would she be willing to become his wife again even after learning what he had done? Would she forgive him for hurting her? Better yet, was he ready to move on and live a happy life just like his family have always wanted?