Chapter 4

So he’d never had any reason to worry. Not about the veil or the tuxedo jacket that clung to him like a second skin. Nor the fact he’d been crazy enough to forgo a shirt on his wedding day. He wanted to feel attractive, like himself.

Luca had insisted they not see each other until the ceremony. People were surprised when they learned Luca was the traditional one and not his fiancé, the doctor. But when he finally was able to get married, he wanted what all straight couples always had taken for granted. He wanted, craved, his relationship to be equal to everybody else’s.

He’d never thought he would get married, convinced their backward state would never legalize same-sex marriage. But when the Supreme Court ruling had made it legal for everyone, Gus had gotten down on one knee, Luca had screamed yes, and just like that, they were engaged.

And Luca had wanted the traditions. A veil was traditional, right?

“Maybe not for me,” he mumbled.

But even if Gus would be surprised at the sight of him in the white gauzy fabric and glimmering crystals, he had been so sure his fiancé would love it. It had only taken a few well-chosen words from his mother to erase all certainty, to crush his happiness like a worm under a shoe, and make him feel worthless.

“You’re a freak.”

The words had cut Luca to his core. They were the exact same ones she’d screamed at him when she’d found out he was gay. He shuddered at the memory of that horrific day, forever etched in his mind. He couldn’t stand the word ever since, and it triggered him, no matter in what context it was used.

And what if she was right? The last thing he wanted was to embarrass his husband-to-be. Several of Gus’s coworkers from the hospital were attending the wedding. What if the veil was too much? Should he take it off, forget it existed?

He stared at himself in the mirror, watched as tears trickled down his face but made no attempt to brush them away. The indecision made his heart ache, and a distraught sob escaped him.

Before he could think, he walked over to the door, opened it, and started running.

He ran through the hallway, down the stairs, and out on the street. He hesitated a second outside the entrance. Then he turned right and ran, the beautiful veil sparkling and billowing behind him. 3: What Did You Say to Him?

Gus glanced at his watch for the millionth time the last hour.

“Thirty-seven minutes ‘til show time,” he muttered and wondered if he’d gotten stuck in some weird time loop since only a minute had passed since last time he’d checked.

He bounced on the balls of his feet and swung his arms around, trying to get rid of some excess excitement. When it didn’t work, he hummed a melody and practiced a few dance steps. He chuckled as he caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror.

“Probably won’t be necessary anyway.”

Knowing Luca, their first dance as husbands would be anything but formal. Luca would most likely grab him by the ass and plaster himself against Gus. He’d stick his tongue down Gus’s throat while shuffling their feet across the dance floor in an attempt to make it look like a dance and not just a make-out session. Not that Gus would mind—he took every chance to be close to Luca. He didn’t care if his mother and coworkers were there to watch. It was his wedding day, and if he wanted to make out with his husband, he would.

He peered down at his watch again and groaned. Thirty-six minutes. Maybe it had been a mistake to send his mother away after she’d finished pinning the boutonniere to his lapel, but he’d asked for a few minutes alone and she’d obliged. She’d kissed him on his cheek and squeezed his hand before leaving the room.

He patted his breast pocket to make sure the ring box hadn’t magically disappeared in the last couple minutes. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Luca’s face when he saw the ring.

Asking Luca to marry him had been a spur-of-the-moment decision. When he’d learned of the Supreme Court’s ruling, he’d immediately known he wanted to pop the question. When he’d come home from work that Friday evening, he’d gone down on one knee. He hadn’t had the time to prepare or buy a ring, but Luca had said he didn’t care.

Gus had felt bad about it after. He knew Luca would have loved a fancy ring on his finger, so he’d promised himself he’d make it up with something extravagant for the wedding.

He’d done a lot of research, looked at hundreds of rings without finding the right one. Even though he’d seen several beautiful diamond-studded wedding bands for men, nothing felt right. Not until he’d wandered into a jewelry store and seen a platinum band with a big emerald-cut diamond.