Chapter 11: You are really big

“So, your room or mine?” the chef asked.

Koth looked down at her, realising he had just left her standing there while his thoughts went to other things, like how to keep Irin safe.

“Oh, I think I have to decline for tonight. I remembered some unfinished business I have to deal with,” he told her and took a step back.

“I can always come to your room a little later?” she asked hopefully.

“I think it’s best for both of us if we spend the night in our own beds, or at least not in the same one,” he said, and then walked away. He needed to think; he needed to figure out why the thought of Irin seeing him kissing the chef made him uneasy. The only reason he could conjure was unacceptable, and he needed time to discover the real reason. Koth refused to accept that the only explanation he could think of was that he had started to fall for Irin. Just because he was worried about her safety, felt guilty for being caught kissing another woman, and had a strange obsession with the way her shoulder-length hair played in the wind and how the sunlight brought out the different shades of copper in it, didn’t mean that he had feelings for her. “Fuck,” he sighed, and sat down on his bed with a force that made it object loudly to the brutality. Okay, maybe he had a passing interest in her. Who wouldn’t be interested in a woman with her looks and temper, and obvious skill in magic and bravery? He was truly fucked, he realised. The next thing he needed to figure out was how to get out of this. He couldn’t act on his feelings, that was for sure, so he needed a way to get rid of them. Maybe he should have taken that woman to bed? No, that was a bad idea. He had enough of a functioning conscience not to use her for something which wouldn’t work. He would just end up feeling bad towards both women and be unable to look at Irin. If the plan he and his brother had made was to work, he needed to look at her without feeling like the bastard he was.

“What am I going to do?” he asked aloud. He truly didn’t have a clue. The only thing he could think of was to focus on her safety, and keep her away from danger. That included himself. He could do it, he decided. That was a good, simple and efficient plan. With a somewhat lighter mind, he went to sleep.

Irin wasn’t in the dining room when Koth came down for breakfast. Jasper was sitting and reading what looked like a report.

“Morning, anything new?” Koth asked.

“No, nothing that will affect us,” his brother said.

“Has Irin already eaten?” Koth asked.

“I don’t think so; I haven’t seen her this morning. She might be out in the yard with the kids. She seems to like being around them.”

“Probably because she has a small pack of younger siblings,” Koth told his brother.

“How many is a pack? Four?” his brother mused.

“Eight,” Koth told him and enjoyed his brother almost choking on his tea.

“Eight? I guess her family is truly dedicated to Alesseja. Nine children in a noble house is rare.”

“Ten, she has an older brother.”

“Of course she does. Ten is a nice round number,” Jesper said, still looking a little shocked. “You should go and check; we need to fill her in on the plan and then get started with preparations.”

“And why are you sending me instead of going yourself?”

“You seem to get irritated when I spend time around her, and thanks to your companion, you are now the children’s new favourite uncle,” Jasper said with a chuckle.

“I don’t know why she did that,” Koth confessed.

“Goddess, sometimes you are dense, big brother. The children were scared of you; they don’t know you, and you aren’t exactly friendly-looking with that scowl on your face.”

“I know, it’s nothing new,” Koth agreed.

“Irin didn’t want that, for some reason, so she made sure the children got to see you as something fun and exciting. You should thank her.” Koth looked at his brother in disbelief. Thank her? Koth still didn’t understand why it was important that the children liked him. “You know, because she did something nice for you,” his brother added.

“Sure.” Koth had had enough of the conversation and of confusing things in general. He turned around and walked outside to see if he could find Irin. She was sitting by the well with another woman, and as they seemed to be deep in conversation, Koth stood a little to the side, not wanting to interrupt. Irin looked up and gave him a smile, but Koth frowned; it wasn’t her usual smile. Her smile didn’t completely reach her eyes, and Koth was left wondering what had her down. She finished her conversation with the woman and walked over to him.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning.”

“Jasper and I have worked out a plan; how about some breakfast while we discuss it?”

“Sounds good,” Irin said, and they walked in together. Koth couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. After eating and sharing their plan with Irin, who agreed it sounded like a good one, Irin excused herself, saying she had promised the little girl and her brother to play with them.

“What did you do?” Jasper asked when she had left.

“What? I haven’t done anything.”

“Okay, then why isn’t she being her usual self?” Jasper looked accusingly at Koth.

"How do you even know this isn't how she usually is?" Jasper simply gave Koth a look. Koth grumbled, got up from the table, and headed out to the yard. He sat down in the shade and watched Irin playing with colourful stones alongside the children. She seemed fine now. She was laughing, and Koth could see the children were coming from all around, as if drawn to her. She looked up and saw him watching. She beckoned him to come over. Koth shook his head, and she glared at him. He sighed and got up. She seemed to have gotten over whatever had affected her earlier, and he didn't want to upset her again. He stood behind her and looked down at Irin and the group of children. As one, the children looked up at him.

"Wow, you're really big," a boy said.

"I am."

"Like really, really big," another boy added.

"And you're really small," Koth grunted.

"That's because you're standing up," a girl pointed out.

"You'd better sit down," Irin told him, smiling and shuffling slightly to the side. Koth did as he was told and sat down. He had to fold himself up to fit amongst the children.

"Whose turn is it?" Irin asked. Koth watched the children playing with the coloured stones. The rules were easy enough to understand. Someone poked him in the side. He looked to his side and saw a young boy standing there.

"Yes?"

"I don't like sitting on the ground."

"Okay." The boy looked at Koth, who looked back at him.

"You can sit on Uncle Koth's lap," Irin said, leaning around Koth to look at the boy.

"Okay," the boy said, and before Koth had time to object, he crawled into Koth's lap and made himself at home.

"Why is he sitting in my lap?" Koth asked Irin quietly. She giggled.

"Because he doesn't like sitting on the ground," she told him. Koth didn't see why that meant he had to sit on Koth's lap, but the little boy wasn't heavy, and he didn't make a fuss, so Koth just let him sit there.

“Oh no,” Irin said. Koth followed her gaze and saw one of the house cats walking by. It stopped and stared at the coloured rocks. Koth realised, just as Irin did, what was about to happen. He was about to get up and grab the cat when Irin placed a hand on his arm and discreetly shook her head. He remained seated, and suddenly the cat pounced on one of the rolling rocks, sending the rest flying. Loud squeals came from the children as they all got up to chase the cat away. The chasing of the cat turned into a game of tag, and soon the children were laughing and running around chasing each other. Irin and Koth sat in the middle of the chaos, and Koth found it quite entertaining. He had never been a part of anything like this before. When he was the children’s age, he had been living in the orphanage, trying to survive. There had been no time to play. As he got older, children always seemed to fear him. He had got used to it.

“Is this how you two intend to spend your day?” Koth looked back and saw an amused Jasper leaning against the door frame.

“It’s a good way to spend a day,” Irin said, turning back to watch the children.

“I would leave you to it, but we have things we need to do,” Jasper reminded them. Irin nodded, and Koth stood up and reached out his hand to help her up.