Chapter 92

There's a soft knock at the door in the morning, and this time I'm not pretending to sleep. In fact, I barely slept, with Jeremiah and Ezekiel's conversation echoing in my head over and over again. And along with that, my own thoughts, my own doubts, my own warnings. It was foolish to stay, but I'm sure I'll have breakfast before I go.

"Come in," I say out loud.

Ezequiel opens the door with a glass of orange juice and a paper bag in his hand, and Jeremiah walks in with a plate. I smile at the smell and sight of the pancakes and bacon.

—I might stay again if the room service was this good.

I'd slap myself. I spent almost half the night reminding myself to stop saying those things, and it's the first thing that comes out when I see them. I don't feel like I know who I am around them, and maybe that's what scares me the most. I watched my mother lose herself to too many men in my life to accept losing any of myself.

"First thing in the morning, Laury?" Ezequiel says. "At least have breakfast before your mind starts spinning."

I almost tell him he's part of the reason it's working, but instead I glare at him when they reach me. Jeremiah puts the plate on my lap, and Ezekiel sits at my feet, holding my glass, I guess, until I'm ready. Jeremiah circles the bed and sits next to me. It's really awkward, but I don't know if I'm the only one.

"Any plans for today?" Jeremiah asks.

—I'm meeting Sar and Ka for lunch. Are you okay?

"We're going to spend the day with our mother," says Ezequiel.

I smile. "Does he convince you of his hobbies?" Because I can imagine the two of them posing for endless photos.

Jeremiah chuckles. “I think we’ve already taken at least a hundred photos with the sun setting behind us or something like that.”

—Could you take a picture of some and send them to me?—

Too close. That's too close. But before I can take it back, Jeremiah nods, while Ezequiel tells me to take the first bite. I cut off a piece of pancake and put it in my mouth. My eyes close as the flavor floods my tongue.

"This is delicious," I say affectionately. "Maybe I should organize a cooking contest between you and Jackson."

"It wouldn't be the first," Ezequiel laughs.

I raise my eyebrows. “And who won?”

“Jackson, of course,” Jeremiah says. “But that doesn’t stop him from challenging us again and again. Our mom made sure we were in the kitchen as soon as we reached the counter. He’s passionate about being independent.”

—I like it more and more. Why...? It doesn't matter.—

"What? Go on!" Jeremiah encourages.

—Why did she and your father divorce?—

I'm worried that this might be too sensitive a topic, but Jeremiah and Ezekiel look at each other and burst out laughing.

“He cheated,” Ezequiel begins. “The woman came to our house to tell my mother, hoping that, I don’t know, she’d burst into tears and fight over him. My mother told her to wait right there, packed all of my father’s things into three suitcases, and gave them to the woman. She told her to tell my father his bank account would be empty by the time she delivered the message.”

I gasp. “I don’t like it. I love it.”

"He came home that night," Jeremiah adds. "Or tried to, but the locks were changed, begging my mother to take him back. She said, and I quote, 'You can come home if you're willing to have your miniature penis cut off. The decision is yours.'"

—I guess he decided to keep his penis.— I laugh.

"Yeah." Jeremiah nods. "And well, you know, we went to the gym with my mom. I don't even think I was getting over the sadness. More like, I had to overcome my dad's audacity."

—Ah, yes, something men seem to have in abundance, I comment.

"I'm not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole," Ezequiel wisely states.

—Speaking of playing, I should be playing a donut right now.—

As I listened to them, I finished my plate. Jeremiah took it from me while Ezekiel offered me the paper bag. I smiled and rubbed my hands together, and he shook his head and laughed. I took out the donut, covered in powdered sugar, and took a bite. It was so light and fluffy that I finished it all without saying a word.

—I demand that you tell me where you got that from.—

Ezequiel smiles. “I’ll show you next time you come.”

Ezequiel blinks a couple of times, as if his own words surprised him as much as they did me. Especially after what I heard last night. Maybe I wasn't the only one lying awake all night, locked in my thoughts. Maybe I'm not the only one who breaks my own rules without any idea why. I like thinking about that too much.

"I'll take you at your word," I say.

I finish my donut and juice, and after Jeremiah promises we'll take lots of pictures today, we say our goodbyes, and I drive home. I blast my music so I don't have to question anything. But everything becomes so much easier when I'm with Sarah and Kamila. And little Shawn, our new lunch buddy these days. He's also about to be the reason the woman a few tables over gets her teeth knocked out.

"Tell that lady if she looks at us the wrong way one more time, she's going to need plastic surgery to fix her face," I sing to Shawn, then raise an eyebrow at the woman I'm talking about.

—Laury —Kamila laughs.

What? I hate it when people act like they've never been around kids. Wow, the baby's crying in a restaurant! Who would have thought babies did that?

"It's making me nervous too," Sarah admits. "But I'm trying to convince myself that I don't want my son to visit me in jail because I was convicted of assault."

I laugh. “Your mugshot would be the cutest. And Law would pay a judge or two to take your picture.”

She smiles mischievously. “I would.”

"Sure," I smile. "How else could I get you pregnant with baby number two?"

That takes away her smile. "We won't talk about such blasphemies when my birth is still so fresh in my mind."

—And especially not when I'm sitting here pregnant and scared as hell about going into labor—, Kamila adds.

"You had a kidney transplant," I point out. "What could be worse?"

Well, they gave me a lot of painkillers after the surgery. It won't be exactly the same after having a baby.

"Okay," I snorted. "If we can't talk about it, how about we start planning your baby shower?"

—Or...— Kamila raises an eyebrow. —We can talk about what you did this morning to avoid taking all my calls and walk into this restaurant with a big smile.—

My eyes widen and Sarah and Kamila laugh together.

"I told you I was with a guy," Sarah says. "But the question is: Did you have sex in the morning, or did you do something unimaginable and sleep over?"

I hesitate to tell them. Anyone else would do it, but with Jeremiah and Ezekiel, I know they'll think it's deeper than it is.

It is. I ignore the whispering in my mind and decide to tell them. Maybe they'll say something that will help me get my bearings regarding them.

—I was with them last night, and yes, I spent the night there.

"Them?" Sarah exclaims at the same time that Kamila almost chokes on her drink as she shouts, "Did they spend the night?"

“I want every detail,” Kamila adds.

I bite my lower lip, and Sarah narrows her eyes. “Was it Jer and Zek?”

My lips curl into a smile, and I nod. They give a standing ovation that makes everyone in the restaurant look at us. Well, the lady glares at us. I roll my eyes before looking away.

"Wait, wait. Was this your first time?" Sarah asks.

—No. The second. The first was your wedding night.

"I knew it," Kamilas says. "I knew they weren't going to let you stay in their room all night without seducing you to exhaustion."

I throw my head back in laughter. Jeremiah opened the door shirtless, so yeah, I'd say it started the moment I walked in.

"You spent the night here," Sarah begins, and I can already see hope blossoming in her eyes. "Does that mean..."

I shake my head. "It doesn't mean anything. They promised me breakfast and donuts. They practically bribed me."

"Mmm," Kamila smiles. "Keep telling yourself that."

—You know I don't do anything but sex, Ka.—

Why do I say it this time and it seems like a lie? It's more like... a reminder.

"Until last night, you didn't have sleepovers either," he points out.

"And Jer and Zek know?" Sarah asks. "That it's nothing more. Because from the way they always look at you, I'm guessing they want more."

—When I mentioned I stayed the night last night and maybe went too far, Ezekiel was the one who said any feelings would be bad, so…— I shrug. —I guess you're both on board.—

—Why are you frowning when you say that?— Kamila smiles.

I don't realize it until he says it. "Why do you make such a big deal out of everything? We agreed it was just sex, and that's it. Period."

“Well, then, sure,” Sarah says, leaning forward. “Let’s get to that part. If I recall correctly, this was your party fantasy, right?”

I smile. “Let’s just say they accomplished what I had in mind.”

Kamila gasps. “Aren’t you just... kissing and telling? Oh my God, hell has frozen over, Sar! I think Laury is already head over heels in love.”

The word makes me shudder and they laugh even louder.

"Don't make her close her throat," Sarah jokes. "You know she's allergic to that word."

"I think she'll change her mind," Kamila says. "Or two men will convince her."

I am, and will remain, firmly convinced that love is a cruel, soul-devouring disease. Thank you very much. Just because you two caught it doesn't mean I'm going to get it too.

“Contract?” Sarah exclaims.

She and Kamila are laughing so hard they're clutching their stomachs. I roll my eyes at them.

"I can't stand either of them," I laugh.