94
HAYLEY’S P.O.V
The moment I woke up, I knew I wasn’t alone.
I was always able to tell when someone was watching me, even from a young age. The hair on my neck stood on edge and I just felt this sensation all over me. Dad always told me it was normal but some people found it weird. They said it was some kind of sixth spider sense or some shit like that.
To an extent, I agreed, because not only was I able to tell when I was being watched, I was able to tell who was doing the watching. Each person felt different: with Jake, his gaze was always heated, it felt like someone was trying to brand my skin with their eyes. With my father, it was softer, more loving but that didn’t make it any less intense.
“Hey dad,” I whispered as I sat up slowly.
I looked around the dark room and found him seated in the couch facing the bed and I had never been so grateful for Jake dressing me before now. It would have been very uncomfortable if I was still naked in bed.
Dad didn’t respond, he just stared at me so I kept going. “When did you get here?”
“Sometime in the early hours of the morning. I met Jake downstairs.”
He knew.
That was the only reason he would be here right now.
I glanced at the clock by the bedside table- it was six. It wasn’t that early to be honest, but it was too early for my father to be seated in my room unless something was wrong.
“Dad-”
“Don’t apologize,” he cut me off. “I don’t want to hear it and honestly, I don’t need to either.”
“Are you upset?”
I couldn’t handle another fight with my father, not now at least. The last fight tested our relationship and we barely managed to make it out alive. I wasn’t sure what this one was going to do but I knew it couldn’t be good.
“NO, I’m not,” he sighed. “Is this what I envisioned for you? No, but I’m not upset, Hayley. I trust you and I trust how I raised you. You will be a great mother.”
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words until he actually said them. “Thank you.”
He stood to his feet and made his way over to the bed. I watched with baited breath as he sat close to me before pulling me into him. I wrapped my arms around him, basking in the feeling of him, in his presence and the familiar smell of his cologne.
This was a goodbye hug and I knew that Jake must have discussed everything with him including moving out. This hug was his way of telling me that no matter what I chose, he was on my side and he always would be.
I never doubted that for a second but the confirmation was beautiful.
“We can still drive over to see each other,” I suggested and he snorted.
“It won’t be the same. What happens to our movie nights?”
“We haven’t had one in a few weeks dad. Things have been so busy around here.”
His chest rumbled with light laughter, even he couldn’t protest because he knew it was true. He just squeezed me tighter.
“We could start it up again and make it a new tradition with the baby.”
“That sounds like a beautiful idea, dad, thank you.”
We stayed there for what felt like hours, neither of us wanting to be the first one to break away. It was just farewell, he wasn’t dying and neither was I but it felt like so much more. It had always been just the two of us and now, it wasn’t going to be like that anymore. It would never be like that.
Even though it was for the better, a part of me was still hurt by the idea.
“Can we keep the baby a secret for now?” I whispered as I pulled back. “I know grandpa will love to hear and he will be so excited but I don’t really want to tell anyone right now. I just found out and I’d like to-”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Hayley,” he pulled back with a smile. “I support you one hundred percent, no matter what you do.”
“Thank you for being so understanding about this.”
“It was either that or lose access to you and my grandchild for the rest of my life. You’re everything to me, Hayley. You are the only family I have left, I can’t lose you.”
After our tearful talk, dad and I went downstairs for breakfast and to my surprise, Jake was nowhere to be found. Dad explained that he was trying to handle the logistics of me moving out but that didn’t make his absence any less hard.
It was pathetic how I kept watching the door waiting for him to return. This was possibly the last night I had to spend with my father and I was too busy spending it waiting for Jake. It was unfair to dad but if he noticed, he didn’t mention it.
Neither of us went out, choosing instead to spend the day doing silly things we always did at home like playing pool and watching movies. Jake didn’t return until late in the evening and when he did, it was in his SUV.
I saw the sadness cross dad’s face but he managed to hide it. “Come on, let’s pack up your clothes.”
“I would have preferred a head’s up for this,” I mumbled. “I have too much shit to pack up in one day.”
Dad laughed. “It’s just the essentials, Hayley, we can pack up the rest later.”
Jake gave dad and I privacy in my room as we packed my clothes into cardboard boxes.
I carried the most important things and left the others. Over the week, I would come back and pick the rest. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t do all at once, I just needed the excuse to keep seeing him.
“I guess this is it,” dad whispered as we put the last box in the trunk of the car. “My baby girl is all grown up.”
“Don’t say that,” I smacked his shoulder. I could already feel the tears welling behind my eyes. “I’ve been grown up for a while now.”
“True, but I always thought you would stay here forever,” he shrugged. “I know it’s stupid and illogical but you’re my daughter. I’m not meant to be logical when it comes to you. I suppose you’ll understand it soon enough.”
I subconsciously ran my hand over my still flat stomach. Even though I hadn’t voiced it out yet, a part of me was excited at the prospect of being a mother. I knew I wasn’t perfect- far from it actually- but I knew that my child would grow up with the best support system ever and that was enough for me.
“If Jake pisses you off, feel free to come back.”
“She isn’t even gone and you’re already trying to steal her back,” Jake drawled. “That’s a low move, Michael.”
Dad laughed before pulling me into a hug. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, dad,” I kissed his cheek and pulled back, letting Jake lead me over to the car. “Bye, dad.”
The first tear slipped from his cheeks and I had to turn away so he wouldn’t see mine.
He could have come to the house with us, he knew he had that option but I suppose it was easier for him to do it this way. It was better than him having to drive home alone.
“You don’t have to do this today,” Jake told me as he got into the driver’s seat. “We have the entire nine months to-”
“No,” I shook my head. “It’ll be hard no matter when I do it. It has to be today.”
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my temple. “You’ll be okay.”
“I know.”
By the time we got to his house, I was exhausted. I felt so drained emotionally that even going up the steps felt like torture.
Jake handled my boxes, assuring me that he could do it. He mentioned something along the lines of pregnant women not carrying stuff. I didn’t even have it in me to argue with him. I just dragged myself up the steps and collapsed into bed.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I remembered, he was brushing my hair out of my face, his lips brushing my cheeks as he whispered my name. The smell of fruits filled the air as I roused awake.
“Eat,” Jake instructed as he pulled me into a sitting position. “You’ve been out all day and that’s not healthy.”
“Jake-”
“Please, Hayley,” he cut me off, his voice cracking on my name. “I don’t know how else to help you.”
“I’m fine,” I assured him. “The baby is fine.”
“This isn’t about the baby, it’s about you. You’re hurting and I don’t want you to shut me out. We agreed to do this as a team, so let’s be a team.”