Chapter 40: Shattered Duty II
I stood at my bedroom window watching the courtyard below as Shadow Pack warriors prepared to leave, moving efficiently while checking saddles and securing travel packs with the practiced ease of men who’d done this hundreds of times, horses stamping and snorting in the cold morning air with their breath making small clouds of mist.
Marcus emerged from the castle and my breath caught despite everything.
He wore traveling leathers now instead of his formal clothes, dark and practical, designed for long rides and maybe sudden fights, and his sword hung at his hip while a pack was slung over one shoulder, looking every inch the Alpha warrior, strong and capable and completely unreachable.
He moved to his horse, a massive black stallion that matched his mood, his movements automatic and mechanical like he’d shut down everything inside himself to get through this moment.
Ryan appeared beside him saying something I couldn’t hear from this distance, and Marcus nodded once while checking his horse’s saddle with hands that didn’t shake even slightly.
I wanted to run down there, wanted to demand explanations and scream at him for lying by omission, wanted to make him look at me and acknowledge what this was doing to both of us, but what right did I have when he’d never promised me anything and when i fucked it all up?
We’d shared some heated moments, some confusing kisses, some fragments of a past I couldn’t remember, but that didn’t give me any claim on his future, and besides my wolf had claimed Lucian not him, she’d looked at his brother and called him mate which had ended whatever chance Marcus and I might have had at anything.
In the courtyard the Shadow Pack warriors mounted their horses, all except Lucian and three others who were staying behind, and Lucian stood off to the side watching his brother with an expression of profound sadness.
Marcus swung up into his saddle with easy grace and for just a second he looked up at the castle, his grey eyes scanning the windows as if searching for something or someone.
I stepped back from the glass before he could see me, being a coward but unable to bear having him look at me right now, unable to handle whatever emotion might be on his face.
When I looked again he’d turned his horse toward the gates.
“Move out!” Ryan called.
The horses surged forward with hooves clattering against the cobblestones, and within moments they were through the gates and disappearing down the road that led away from Night Pack territory.
Marcus never looked back.
I watched until they were completely out of sight, until even the dust from their passing had settled, the courtyard feeling empty without them in a way that had nothing to do with the number of people still moving around down there.
My chest ached with a pain I didn’t want to examine while my throat felt tight and my eyes burned with tears I refused to let fall, telling myself this was for the best because Marcus had responsibilities, a pack that needed him, a political marriage that would strengthen his position.
And I had what exactly, a wolf that had claimed the wrong brother, a sister who hated me, memories that might never return and a conspiracy that wanted me dead?
I turned away from the window and caught sight of myself in the mirror across the room, looking exactly how I felt which was lost and broken and alone.
Roslyn knocked softly and entered with a tea tray saying gently as she set it down on my bedside table, “Miss Chloe, I thought you might want something warm.”
I nodded but didn’t trust my voice to speak.
“He’ll come back,” Roslyn said quietly.
I shook my head saying with bitter certainty, “He won’t, he has a fiancée, a pack, responsibilities, he made his choice.”
“That doesn’t mean he wanted to.”
“Want doesn’t matter,” I turned back to the window, staring at the empty courtyard. “Duty matters, pack matters, that’s what we’re taught from birth isn’t it, put the pack first always.”
Roslyn was quiet for a moment before moving to stand beside me, her reflection appearing in the window next to mine as she said, “For what it’s worth I think he cares about you, more than he probably should.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Miss Chloe—”
“It doesn’t matter Roslyn,” my voice came out harder than I meant it to. “Whatever Marcus feels, whatever I might feel, it’s irrelevant, he’s engaged, I have other problems to worry about, end of story.”
Roslyn looked like she wanted to argue but something in my expression must have stopped her as she squeezed my shoulder gently saying, “I’ll leave the tea here, try to rest.”
After she left I stood at the window for a long time watching the courtyard slowly fill with activity again as Night Pack members went about their daily routines, the castle returning to normal as if nothing earth-shattering had just happened.
But something had shifted and I could feel it in my bones, in the hollow space where hope used to live.
Eventually exhaustion pulled me toward my bed and I lay down still fully clothed, staring at the ceiling while my mind replayed everything, Marcus’s anguished face, Ryan’s accusations, the word engagement hanging in the air like a death sentence.
My wolf stirred restlessly inside me, confused by the pain radiating through our shared consciousness because she didn’t understand human complications like duty and political marriages, she only knew that something vital had just walked out of our life.
I closed my eyes willing sleep to come and erase this day from existence.
It took hours but eventually darkness claimed me.
\-----
The dream started the way they always did.
I was standing in a moonlit grove with silver light filtering through ancient trees, the air smelling of night-blooming flowers and something wild and free while my heart raced with anticipation and excitement, with the certainty that something wonderful was about to happen.
Then he was there.
Marcus emerged from the shadows but this Marcus was different from the one I knew now, this Marcus smiled at me with warmth that made my chest tight, this Marcus looked at me like I was everything good in his world.
“You came,” he said, relief obvious in his voice.
“I said I would,” my own voice sounded different too, confident and sure of myself and of him.
He crossed the distance between us in three strides and pulled me into his arms, the embrace feeling like coming home, like finding something I’d been searching for my entire life without knowing it was missing.
The scene shifted with time moving in that strange dream way, and now we were sitting together under the stars, his arm around my shoulders while I leaned against his chest, able to hear his heartbeat steady and strong.
“Run away with me,” he said suddenly, his voice urgent. “Tomorrow night, we can leave everything behind and just be together.”
I pulled back to look at his face asking, “Marcus we can’t just leave, your pack needs you, I’m supposed to be Alpha heir—”
“I don’t want any of it!” His grey eyes blazed with frustration and desperation. “I don’t want the responsibility, the politics, the expectations everyone has of me, I just want you Chloe, only you.”
“What about your duties, your people?”
“Let someone else lead them, let my council find another Alpha,” he cupped my face in his hands with thumbs brushing across my cheekbones. “I’ve spent my whole life doing what everyone else wanted, for once I want to choose for myself, and I choose you.”
I looked at him carefully, really looked at him, and there was something in his expression that didn’t quite fit, something he wasn’t telling me, and suspicion crept into my mind because running away from everything, abandoning his pack and duties, that seemed too simple, too easy, like there was more to this story than he was sharing.
“Tomorrow night,” he whispered, pulling me closer. “Meet me in the grove, give me your answer then.”
The dream shifted again and now I was sneaking through the castle corridors late at night, my heart pounding with the thrill of doing something forbidden as I reached the eastern exit and slipped out into the cool night air.
Marcus waited for me by the tree line and the smile that lit up his face when he saw me made my breath catch, making me temporarily forget any doubts in the warmth of his presence.
Another shift and we were lying in the grass together staring up at the stars while his fingers traced patterns on my arm, the peaceful silence between us feeling more intimate than any words.
“Tell me a secret,” I said softly.
“What kind of secret?”
“Something no one else knows about you.”
He was quiet for a moment then said, “Sometimes I’m terrified I’ll turn out like my father, cold and calculating, putting pack politics above everything else, above the people I love.”
I turned to look at him saying, “You could never be like that.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re here with me instead of doing what’s expected of you, because you care enough to be afraid of becoming cold,” I reached up to touch his face. “That alone makes you nothing like him.”
He kissed me then, soft and slow and full of tenderness that made my eyes sting with tears, and for a moment I forgot about everything except this perfect moment between us.
The dream shifted one more time and now I was in my room getting ready to sneak out again, excitement and nervousness warring inside me as I made my decision, tonight I would meet Marcus and give him my answer about running away together.
I moved to my bookshelf and carefully pulled out the third book from the left on the bottom shelf, a thick volume on pack history that no one ever touched, and from behind it I retrieved my hidden stash of letters, all his notes collected over weeks of secret meetings tucked into a small leather pouch I’d sewn into the bookshelf backing itself, the one place no one would ever think to look.
I held the letters for a moment, proof of something real and precious we’d built together, then carefully put them back in their hiding place before heading for the door, my heart singing with anticipation because tonight would change everything.
I moved through the corridor heading toward the eastern exit that would take me to the grove, my mind already forming the questions I needed to ask Marcus, the concerns I needed him to address before I could commit to running away with him.
The forest trail stretched before me bathed in moonlight, the path I’d taken dozens of times to meet Marcus winding through trees that felt familiar as old friends, and I started walking with purpose while my mind imagined his face when I finally allayed my fears and gave him my answer
I was deep into the forest trail, surrounded by ancient trees and night sounds, when I heard it.
Footsteps behind me, too heavy and deliberate to be an animal, moving with purpose that made every instinct scream danger.
I spun around just as a figure lunged from the shadows and my training kicked in automatically, dodging to the side as his fist connected with air instead of my face.
He was male with plain features and eyes cold as winter, wearing dark clothes that helped him blend into the forest shadows, and he came at me again but I was ready this time, blocking his strike and landing a solid punch to his ribs that made him grunt in pain.
We fought there on the forest trail and I used every technique I knew and had been drilled into me since childhood, managing to land several good hits that should have given me an advantage, my body moving with practiced ease through forms I’d trained in for years.
But he was stronger and more experienced, recovering from my attacks faster than I expected, and when I tried to use his momentum against him to throw him off balance he twisted out of my grip with practiced ease that spoke of professional training.
I grabbed a fallen branch from the ground and swung with all my strength, catching him across the shoulder hard enough to make him stagger back a few steps.
“Who sent you?” I demanded, my voice steady despite my racing heart while I kept the branch between us like a weapon. “Why are you doing this?”
He didn’t answer, just came at me again with cold determination written across his stupid face, and we fought among the trees with my branch connecting several more times before he managed to grab it and wrench it from my hands with brutal force.
I backed up looking for another advantage, another weapon, anything that could help me survive this, and my foot caught on a root hidden in the darkness of the forest trail.
I stumbled, just for a second, just long enough.
His arm wrapped around my neck from behind and I thrashed wildly, trying every escape technique I knew, managing to elbow him hard in the stomach and stomp on his foot with enough force to make him loosen his grip slightly.
But it wasn’t enough because he recovered too quickly, tightening his hold until black spots danced at the edges of my vision, and then something hard connected with the back of my head once, twice, three times.
Pain exploded through my skull as my vision went blurry and I tried to fight back but my limbs wouldn’t respond properly anymore, the world tilting sideways as I felt myself falling.
Rough hands caught me before I hit the ground, lowering me to the forest floor with surprising gentleness that didn’t match the violence of moments before, and his face swam into view above me with those cold calculating eyes showing no emotion.
Then I saw another figure approaching through the trees, smaller and moving quickly toward us.
“Hurry,” the man above me said to the newcomer. “Before someone realizes she’s gone.”
The second figure knelt beside me and I tried to focus on their face but everything was blurry, darkness creeping in at the edges of my vision while my head throbbed with agony that made thinking impossible.
Something was pressed against my chest and pain like I’d never imagined possible tore through me, feeling like my soul was being ripped apart, like something vital and irreplaceable was being cut away with brutal force.
I tried to scream but no sound came out, tried to fight back but my body wouldn’t respond anymore, could only lie there on the forest floor while agony consumed me from the inside out.
My wolf screamed inside my head, her voice filled with terror and pain as our bond was severed, as something foreign and toxic flooded through our connection and tore us apart piece by piece.
The last thing I felt before darkness claimed me completely was her presence fading away, slipping through my fingers like water no matter how hard I tried to hold on, leaving me hollow and empty and broken.
\-----
I woke gasping for air, sitting bolt upright in bed as my heart hammered against my ribs, my whole body covered in sweat while the morning sun streamed through my window.
“I remember everything,” I whispered to the empty room.
The memories crashed over me in waves, Marcus asking me to run away with him, me agreeing to give him my answer, sneaking through the castle to meet him in the grove, the attack on the forest trail when I’d been so close to him.
Fighting with everything I had only to stumble on that stupid root, being overwhelmed and poisoned while Marcus waited for me in the grove, thinking I’d abandoned him when the truth was I’d been attacked on my way to give him my answer and now i had failed Marcus again.
I had failed my love multiple times and treated him like trash.
The realization hit me like a physical blow.
Oh God, what have I done?