Chapter 18 NIGHTMARE
Mia woke up screaming.
The sound tore out of her throat before she knew she was awake. Before she knew where she was. Before she knew her hands were fists around Alex’s shirt, tearing the fabric, her knuckles white, her nails digging into skin that was not hers.
“Alex!”
He was there instantly. Not in the bed. On the floor. Kneeling beside it. Because she had kicked him out two hours ago when the nightmares started. Because he said if you dream of blood, I want to be where I can hold you.
He grabbed her wrists. Not to stop her. To ground her.
“Look at me,” he said. Voice rough with sleep. Voice Alpha. “Look at me, Mia. You are here. You are safe. You are with me.”
Her eyes snapped open. Gold.
Not brown. Gold.
The room was dark. The guest room. Not his. She had refused his bed after the pit. Said it was too much. Too fast. Too him.He did not argue. Just laid a mattress on the floor outside her door. Guarding.
But the gold was real. And the room smelled like wolf. Like fur and storm and blood. Her blood.
“Mia,” Alex said again. Softer now. “Breathe.”
She could not.
Because in the dream, Ivan had a knife. And he was holding it to Alex’s throat. And she was running. Running in four legs. Running with fur and claws and teeth that were not hers. And she reached him too late. And Alex’s eyes went blank. And Ivan smiled.
And then she was biting.
And Ivan was screaming.
And the blood was hot on her tongue.
And it tasted right.
She gasped. The dream shattered. The room came back. The ceiling. The dark. Alex’s face.
His hands were still on her wrists. His thumb was rubbing circles over her pulse. Slow. Steady. Safe.
“You were growling,” Alex said.
“I was killing him,” Mia said. The words came out raw. Broken. “In the dream. I killed him.”
“You did not,” Alex said. “You are here. With me.”
“But I wanted to.” She looked down at her hands. They were shaking. “That is what scares me. I wanted to. And I had claws. And teeth. And I did not feel bad.”
Alex sat back on his heels. Did not let go of her wrists. “That is the wolf.”
“The wolf is a monster.”
“The wolf is you," Alex said. “The part of you that protects what is yours. The part of you that will not let anyone touch me. Or you. Or us.”
She stared at him. “That is not me.”
“It is now,” Alex said. “And it is not going away.”
Silence.
The gold in her eyes faded. Slow. Like a fire dying. Brown came back. Human. Shaken.
“Why did I dream that,” Mia asked.
“Because you touched him,” Alex said. “Because you saw him. Because you remember your father. The crash. The bomb. Your body remembers even if your mind tries to forget.”
She pulled her wrists free. Not to hit him. To wrap her arms around herself. “I do not want to be like this.”
“Like what,” Alex said.
“Like you," Mia said. “Like a killer. Like someone who wakes up with blood on their hands and calls it protection.”
Alex’s face did not change. But something in his eyes did. Something old. Something tired. Something guilty.
“I am,” Alex said. “I have killed. Many times. For this pack. For this title. For survival. I do not say it to be proud. I say it so you know. So you know what you are choosing when you choose me.”
Mia looked at him. Really looked. At the scars on his arms. At the tension in his jaw. At the way he held himself like he was one second from violence.
And she saw it.
The cage.
The one he had been living in for five years.
The one she had just walked into.
“I do not want you to be a cage,” Mia whispered.
“I am not,” Alex said. “Not anymore. Not with you.”
He reached out. Slow. Letting her see. Letting her stop him.
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers brushed her cheek. Warm. Gentle. Human.
“Go back to sleep, Mia,” Alex said. “I am here. If the wolf comes again, I will be here. If you scream, I will be here. If you kill someone in your dream, I will be here.”
She almost laughed. Almost cried.
“Why,” Mia asked.
“Because you are mine,” Alex said. Simple. True.
And he left.
Did not kiss her. Did not touch her again. Just stood. Walked to the door. Paused.
“I will be outside,” Alex said. “If you need me.”
The door clicked shut.
Mia sat in the dark. Alone.
And the wolf howled.
Not out loud. Inside.
In her bones. In her blood. In her chest where his blood was still warm in the ink on her shoulder.
Mate.
Pack.
Protect.
Hunt.
She pressed her forehead to her knees. “Shut up,” she whispered. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”
The wolf did not shut up.
It got louder.
MIA
This is not me.
This is not human.
This is not safe.
This is Alex.
This is what he has been for five years.
Alone.
With this.
No wonder he is broken.
She did not sleep again.
She could not.
Every time she closed her eyes, Ivan was there. Every time she breathed, wolf was there. Every time she moved, the tattoo on her shoulder burned. Like his blood was moving. Like it was alive.
At 4:32 AM, she gave up.