Lana's POV I always considered myself the kind of girl that followed my impulses.. It was true. I did. I lost control when I was angry or triggered. However, around vampires, I was taught that I should always play it smart. Resist those impulses.. And that's what I usually did. But never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that I would have trouble resisting my urges near him.. Near Christian. I thought I had it under control. I trusted myself and that's the thing.. I only trusted myself, and no one else. I relayed on my instincts and my instincts only.. So it was a true mind-game, so hard for me to understand when I started putting my whole trust in him.. And perhaps in that moment, I put my trust in him. Only him. He got mad, shouted, gave all kinds of warnings, while I stood still, followed his rage and so damn eagerly triggered him even more.. I made him say all those things, and I felt satisfied that I was able to push him off the edge and actually hear him say that.. At some point in that argument, I realized that he was pushing something back, he was hiding what he was really feeling at such moments, and I acted stubborn which was not so far from my nature, continuing the argument until he snapped and told me everything that was on his mind. And God, he had no clue how much satisfaction his words gave me, how easily they woke up this yearning inside me.. Like it was all I needed to hear, the only pass I needed to see for me to give in completely and lose every little control I had left.. Every little resistance with which I pushed all my urges back for so long.. I shut him up with a kiss that was my salvation in that moment, biggest satisfaction, and the only limit I needed to be immediately crossed. I kissed him like he was the air filling my lungs and when he returned with that same eagerness for something more, with that same wish for something stronger, wilder.. I was completely and utterly lost in him. He always seemed to bring out this other side of me, like he was so effortlessly pulling my wildest urges, wishes and needs that swirled my mind completely out of place in moments like that. I loved that side of me. I loved the feeling of having him against me, kissing me, touching me, taking me.. I didn't care.. I didn't care about anything else but him. Us.. I just craved his touch, craved his lips, craved him.. I did things that I would usually push back, I easily admitted things, said them without any regret.. Things that I would usually reconsider, think through.. No, with Christian there was no thinking. He brought out every drop of wildness and lust inside me so effortlessly.. Christ, it was insanity. I was there in front of him, so confidently taking my shirt off, throwing it on the side and daring him to take me right then, right there.. To just worship me. Perhaps I seemed very certain in my actions, and in that moment, I was.. But the truth was, I actually felt so needy and desperate.. God, I just wanted him to worship me as much as I wanted to do that to him. To desire me as much as I desired him.. I saw it in his eyes.. I knew that wildness in his eyes. It was reflected back in mine as well. That yearning and loss of control. I saw it before.. That night we spent together before agreeing that we were going to keep it between the two of us.. Then I saw it each time he couldn't keep himself from kissing me.. The previous night in the car too.. I was learning to read him, very aware that I was letting him read me just as effortlessly, just as easily.. I didn't fight it back. How could I? How could I fight those urges any longer? How could I push it all back? I was feeling like I had snapped, lost all resistance and mastery over my own senses. I just wanted that.. That wild, senseless, breathless loving. That resistless kissing and touching, pushing and turning through the sheets.. That kind of worshiping. That kind of expressing. That kind of night. And it was him that brought it all out. I didn't regret it. I acted by my impulses around a vampire.. Around Christian. Trusting myself with this.. Trusting him with this. Wanting nobody but him for this. Just the way his eyes roamed over my body, my face, the desperation mixed with confidence, swirled with lust and loss of resistance.. It was all I needed in that moment. It proved his words right. And I didn't want him to resist. I didn't want him to find control. I wanted him to own me completely and let me own him just as much. With a speed of the wind, he rushed towards me and effortlessly pushed me up against the wall.. My words triggered him beyond belief, dared him and released him to his highest. The smile of satisfaction on my face was clear as I pressed my head back against the wall to look at him more clearly.. Our faces inches away. I could see the lust in his eyes.. In those pitch black pearls, so effortlessly swirling with that desperation, desire that I knew I couldn't tame once it was released. His hands held mine against the wall in a way of trapping it, and I found some kind of pleasing by the way he could do that so effortlessly.. I wouldn't wish to move anyway.. His eyes searched my face with speed I could not follow, scanning how my lips were stretched into a smile he once referred to as devilish, clearly reading every bit of emotion behind me eyes. His breaths seemed somewhat heavy, yet when he spoke, his voice was just as cold, as deep as before. "You're daring me," He said slowly, almost mechanically, like he wasn't even following his own words. "challenging me, Lana.. Every single damn day." The lean he preformed towards the side of my face sent immediate chills down my spine, fading away the smile off my face. "It's a risky game you're playing." I closed my eyes for a quick second, feeling him slightly move away. I watched how he scanned every inch of my face, and I was ready to drown in the attention his eyes gave me. I loved it. A very turn towards his face was enough for me to feel his warm breath right at the side of my lips, slightly parted and eagerly waiting for some response.