Chapter 39

Dan’s heart started beating fast and hard. No! There has to be another explanation.

He waited a minute, letting his emotions calm down. Then he put the phone in his pocket and returned to the guest room.

“Hey, I thought you got kidnapped or something—you were gone so long. I almost had to take care of this myself.” Steve raised the sheet to reveal his erection, then patted the bed beside him.

“What’s your mother’s name?” Dan asked, trying to keep his voice even and praying for the right answer.

“What?” Steve asked, looking puzzled.

“I asked you, what’s your mother’s name?”

“It’s Agnes. Why do you want to know what her name is right now?” Steve asked.

Dan went on. “Do you have sisters?”

“No, two brothers. What’s this all about?” Steve asked, covering himself and sitting up.

“Then, tell me who Jennifer Bishop is,” Dan said, as he took the phone out of the pocket of his shorts and held it out for Steve. “And don’t give me any bullshit about it being your grandmother!”

Steve’s eyes got wide, then closed. He put a hand to his forehead and bowed his head as he let out a long sigh.

“That’s what I figured.”

Dan tossed the phone onto the bed, and, biting his lip to keep it from trembling, he left the room.

Dan walked down the hall, through the kitchen, and out onto the deck. He stood with his arms folded across his chest. The dogs had followed him outside. He watched them run happily about the yard, completely oblivious to the scene about to unfold. He’d stood in this very spot just minutes earlier, full of happiness and hope. Now his mind was filled with disappointment and confusion.

He heard the screen on the deck door slide open, then close. He sensed Steve standing behind him. He didn’t turn around.

After a while, when Dan didn’t turn, Steve asked, “Dan?”

“What?”

“Can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about? You’re married. Fairy tale over! Ends with, They did not live happily ever after.”

“Look, I know you’re upset with me right now—”

“Ya think?” Dan still didn’t turn to look at Steve.

“But if you let me explain.”

“Explain?” Dan finally turned to face Steve. “What’s there to explain? My wife and I don’t get along. She doesn’t understand me. We haven’t had sex in ages. I’m planning on leaving her. Come on, Steve! Can’t a gay guy come up with something better than the same crap a straight man would give to his whore?”

“It’s not like that. You weren’t even out to yourself when you were married. You don’t understand how it feels to have needs that aren’t being met. Try and imagine if you felt like you do now about men…about me…and couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” Dan asked.

“I was going to, but I didn’t expect to fall in love with you and when I did, I was afraid I’d lose you.”

Dan turned away again.

“Please hear me out, Dan, please.”

Steve sat down at the picnic table. Dan came and sat across from him.

Steve took a deep breath, looked at Dan, and said, “I figured I’d come out here the first time and see if we were good together. When we were, I wanted to wait until we were solid and then I’d tell you about Jennifer.”

“Figuring I would be so hooked on you, I wouldn’t be able to walk away?” Dan asked incredulously.

“Actually, yes, something like that. At first I just wanted a playmate, nothing serious, but exclusive, for protection for both of us…and Jennifer. But you turned out to be more than that. I really do love you. And you said you loved me. Can’t we see if we can find a way to make this work?”

“Are you going to tell her about me, now that I know about her, now that you say you love me and want to find a way to make this work?”

Steve lowered his eyes and shook his head.

“So you’re going to stay with her, just get a little on the side, keep me your dirty little secret? Someone you can see every now and then to get your rocks off with when you need a man? Is that what you mean when you say you want to find a way to work things out?”

“Well…I’m in line to get a principalship. They prefer married guys, with families and—”

“Do you have kids?” Dan asked, interrupting Steve.

“Two.”

Dan covered his mouth with a hand, took a deep breath, and looked up at the sky. Puffy, white, popcorn clouds were appearing in the azure blue sky. A light breeze was blowing. It was going to be a beautiful day.