Chapter 28

The two dogs came barreling into the room. Chauncey jumped on Dan’s lap and Brute slobbered all over Dan’s knees.

Damion returned. “Want some coffee or something?” he asked, concern still showing in his voice.

Dan could tell from Damion’s tone he was worried. “No, thanks.”

Damion sat down next to Dan. Chauncey tried to lick Damion’s face.

“So, tell me what’s bothering you. I mean, I thought you were getting into the stuff we did downstairs. You got hard and you came.”

“I guess I’m just pretty vanilla when it comes to sex,” Dan admitted, not looking at Damion.

Damion began to rub Dan’s back. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all got our likes when it comes to what turns us on. If you like vanilla and the dungeon stuff turns you off, well, I can give you all the vanilla you want. We don’t have to do the dom thing again.”

“Yeah, okay. But what about you? You’re really into the leather domination stuff, aren’t you?” Dan asked, turning to look at Damion.

Damion shrugged. “Well…yeah, I am.”

Dan went on, “I could try to get into that, but if I couldn’t, and we only did what I liked…well that wouldn’t be fair to you. I couldn’t ask you to give up what you were into.”

“I’d give it up if you never got to liking it. I’d like for you to try it once in a while but if it wasn’t something you liked…well, yeah I could give it up.”

“You said in your profile you wanted something more substantial than a bunch of one-night stands.”

“Yeah?” Damion asked.

“Well, I took that to mean you were looking for something exclusive.”

“I am.”

“It’d be great if I were into the domination thing. I really care about you. You and I have so much that makes what we have so great. But if I can’t get into the dom stuff, and if you couldn’t give it up, could we still have our special, exclusive relationship, or would you start resenting me or feel like you needed to get what you needed outside our relationship?”

“I wouldn’t. I love you.”

“And I love you. I’m not an expert on love but I don’t think it would work that way—you giving up your desires, no matter how much we cared about one another.”

Were all gay relationships this fucked up? Was Dan just being na?ve? It seemed to Dan that if what you had to offer wasn’t completely satisfying then the relationship couldn’t last long. Maybe some guys could make it work by getting what they needed from others on the side, but Dan knew he couldn’t accept that. He needed some space to let his mind clear.

“I think I better go home.”

“But I thought we were gonna spend the night,” Damion said, clearly disappointed. “I’m sorry if the domination thing freaked you out. I thought you liked the little bit of rough stuff we did last week. Like I said, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Damion said, a note of pleading in his voice.

“I’m really sorry, but I need to go. I need to think about this…us.”

* * * *

Dan arrived home just as Julee was returning from the dogs’ evening stroll. He got out of the car, Julee let the dogs go, and they ran up the drive to him. Dan knelt and buried his face in their wiry fur. He had to get control before he talked to Julee.

“I thought you were going to spend the night in the city,” she said.

“That was the plan, but…” He groped for a way to explain. “Well…I must have gotten into something I couldn’t stomach,” he finally said.

“You need some Pepto-Bismol? I’ve got some if you do,” Julee suggested.

“Hmm. I don’t think it would help this kind of stomach upset. But thanks. I think I just need a good night’s sleep.”

They said good night. Dan went into his house, showered, put the dogs out once more, and all three crawled into bed.

He pulled Lady close as he had a week earlier. “You remember what I told you about Damion? That I thought he might be the one?”

Lady looked up at him.

“Well, forget I ever said it.”

Lady whined and licked his nose. 8

Nearly three weeks had gone by since Dan’s experience in Damion’s Dungeon. They hadn’t seen each other, but had talked on the phone several times. During their conversations it had become clear Damion couldn’t understand Dan’s concerns about making their relationship work if Dan couldn’t fulfill Damion’s needs. Similarly, Dan couldn’t understand Damion’s belief they could have an exclusive partnership while Damion still had domination needs that Dan couldn’t satisfy. In the end they said goodbye and wished each other well.