Chapter 19
“Uh—I’m single. Just divorced actually. “Only my dogs at home now. My neighbor takes care of them when I’m late.”
“Any children?” Scott asked.
“No. That’s the reason we divorced.”
“It’s harder when you have kids,” Scott said. “Adalin and I…”
Dan’s beeper went off. “I’m sorry. I’m on call. I have to take this.”
Dan walked a few steps away to get his message. He watched Scott as he listened to the operator from his on-call service give details of the emergency. Scott had put his hands in his pockets and was moving the stones on the drive around with the toe of his shoe.
When Dan came back to Scott, he said, “I’m sorry. There’s a horse that’s colicking pretty bad. I need to go, but what were you starting to tell me about your kids?”
“Never mind, not important. You better get to that sick horse. Maybe we can do a raincheck on those burgers.”
“I’d like that,” Dan said, smiling broadly.
Scott walked Dan to his truck and they shook hands. Dan wasn’t sure if he’d held Scott’s hand just a tad longer than necessary or if it was Scott who had held his. Dan waved out of the window as he drove away. He looked into the rear view mirror to see Scott watching him go and waving back. He was reminded of the old cliché he’d heard many times in college. When a female student found out a particularly handsome man played for the other team, she would often say, Why are all the really cute guys gay?He turned it around to apply to him and softly said, “Why are all the hot men married?” 7
Seeing Scott again brought Dan back to the realization he needed someone in his life. Dan felt he was destined to be in a relationship that involved more than sex. He’d been happy when married to Christine, despite suspecting his sexual interests lay elsewhere. It had been nice to share a life with someone you loved, to have someone to come home to. The dogs, as much as Dan loved Lad and Lady, could only go so far in fulfilling that need.
When Dan thought about finding the perfect partner, he tried not to think of Scott. Thinking of him only made it more difficult. The man in every way seemed to be the ideal candidate except, of course, for the fact that he was unavailable. But as much as Dan tried not to dwell on him, images of Scott appeared in his dreams at night. If he let his thoughts wander while on long boring drives between clients on his daily rounds, scenarios involving the handsome environmental engineer appeared, unbidden, to float in the back of his mind.
For several weeks Dan let these thoughts simmer. Then, deciding that a solution to his situation would not likely magically appear, he once again sat down at his computer in search of someone to fulfill his desires.
Dan didn’t want to be the seeker this time. That hadn’t turned out well for him. Instead he decided to let the man of his dreams come to him. He would post a profile. That way he could screen those who responded and be selective. He ended up posting two: one on a free site, and one on a commercial site that had a man-seeking-man division. Perhaps men on that site would be more interested in what he was looking for.
Since he was tired of postings which were less than forthright about who the person actually was, Dan was determined to be honest. So in the interest of full disclosure, he filled out the profile questions accurately. He wanted to attract a man who wanted him for what he really was, not some fictionalized version.
He stated truthfully that he was thirty-two years old, was five foot-nine and weighed one hundred and sixty-four pounds. He’d even weighed and measured himself before adding those stats. On the free site, which had such questions, he omitted references to body type and didn’t fill in cock size or sexual preferences. He wanted someone who wanted him for reasons other than physical attributes. He tried to make sure it was clear he was interested only in a monogamous, long term relationship.
He wrote his bio, then read it, frowned, and rewrote it several more times before he was satisfied it reflected what he truly was looking for in a potential partner. He hoped this would weed out the guys who he’d just have to reject in the end. At the same time he didn’t want to sound so picky no one would bother to contact him.
His final draft read: Recently divorced professional, looking to restart his life in a new direction. Hoping to find someone of similar age (not cast in stone) with whom to build a new life. While the physical side of a relationship is important, it is more important that we have things to share beyond the bedroom. If you, too, are interested in finding someone with the potential to become a long term partner, drop me a line and let’s get to know one another. Keep in mind, for me, friendship comes before physical intimacy. Not interested in sex first, get acquainted later.