Chapter 9

Yesterday I called my realtor and told her I was no longer looking for a property. She had asked me if I was sure, I wasn’t, but I had no choice if I wanted to stay alive. After I had hung up, I had let myself cry for a bit. Then I had to pick up the phone and call Wictor. He had invested as much time as I had in this search and he needed to know my plans had changed.

“How did he do it?” Wictor asked me.

“What are you talking about?”

“Simon. It has to be him, you have dreamed of this for so long. The only reason I can think of for you to back down from it now, is him,” Wictor told her. He wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t want to tell him how complicated my life had been. He would insist I come and stay with him, or that he would come and stay with me. I wouldn’t do that to him.

“Let’s just say the money I had counted on won’t be available. There is no use in crying over spilled milk,” I told him. He sighed.

“At least tell me you're safe,” he insisted. I glanced at the device that I had put on the table next to me, which had killed my pillow the night before.

“I’m safe,” I told him. He muttered and we changed subject. Wictor had called me back a couple of hours later. He had a friend that needed to hire someone to work in the mailroom of the company.

“I know it’s not what you are looking for,” he told me.

“Don’t be silly. I’m not too proud to take a job that will put food on the table,” I told him. He had already set up an interview for me and that is why I now was stressed. After stepping out of the shower, I had taken a moment to drink my morning coffee and somehow got lost in an idea for a new cookie recipe and lost track of time. Fortunately for me I had laid out what I planned to wear before my shower so it was just a matter of getting into it and making myself look presentable. I stopped and looked at the shoes I had taken out. They were my nice shoes, nothing fancy. Just simple black pumps with a low heel. But I hadn’t used them in almost a year. My feet were sensitive. Like if I wear a new pair of shoes I will get blisters on my blisters. I had planned on taping my feet as a precaution. But as I looked at the shoes, I realised it had slipped my mind. If I wanted to do it now I had to take off the pantyhose, put the tape on, put the pantyhose back on and then the shoes. I looked at the clock. I would miss the bus if I tried. It should be fine, I reasoned. I had worn the shoes plenty of times before.

Three hours later and I was walking out of the interview. To be honest, I was limping. The interview went well, at least that was the feeling I got. But my feet had been killing me by the time I arrived and the walkthrough of the mailroom hadn’t helped the situation. I stopped as I got around the corner from the office I had visited and considered taking the shoes off. I looked down on the pavement and I really didn’t want to. I could make it to the bus stop, it was only a block away.

“Hana?” My stomach fluttered as I heard my name being called and I turned to see Hunter looking at me.

“Hi,” I said, smiling at him. He was with another man, about my age, who was looking curiously at me.

“What are you doing here?” Hunter asked.

“I had a meeting around the corner,” I told him. He frowned and walked towards me. Not knowing what to do, I took a couple of steps in his direction, trying hard to hide the fact that my feet were now throbbing.

“You shouldn’t be out in public,” he said. It was my turn to frown.

“How do you expect me to earn a living if I’m not allowed out in public?” I asked.

“Your life and safety should be worth more than a job.”

“I would say that living on the streets without food is detrimental to both of those things. And that is what will happen if I can’t pay my bills,” I told him. He sighed.

“Let me at least drive you home.”

“No, it’s fine. The bus stop isn’t that far from here and I’ll be out in public with lots of people around.”

“People like Aksakov don’t care if there are others around. If he wants to grab you, or hurt you, he will. And the bus stop is three blocks from your apartment. Just let me drive you home.” I wanted to ask how he knew about the bus stop, but changed my mind.

“What about … your friend?” I instead asked and looked behind Hunter. Hunter followed my gaze as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

“Oh. John is one of my employees,” he said when he saw who I was referring to. He made a dismissive gesture and John nodded and walked away. “My car is parked over there,” Hunter said, gesturing in the opposite direction of where I had been going.

“Thank you,” I told him as I braced myself. I tried to walk in a way that didn’t show how much pain I was in. If it was one thing I knew, it was that you never show weakness. Hunter glanced at me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Wrong?” I tried to sound like I had no idea what he was talking about.

“There is something wrong with the way you’re walking.” He sounded worried as he studied me.

“It’s nothing. I just wore uncomfortable shoes today. I should have known better, but I wanted to impress the manager I was meeting,” I told him.

“It looks like you’re in pain. I can carry you,” he offered. I blushed at the thought of him picking me up and carrying me in public.

“N-no thank you. It’s really not that big of a deal,” I insisted and tried to walk without limping. My steps became shorter as I tried not to rub my heels against the back of the shoes. I felt my calves start to stiffen at the unfamiliar gate. Hunter didn’t comment, he just slowed down to match my slower pace and guided me to his car. We walked toward a big black SUV and I had to smile. If I would have guessed which car on the street belonged to him, I would have picked this car. He opened the passenger door and helped me inside. He got in behind the wheel and we started driving in silence.

“You can take your shoes off if you like,” he said.

“It’s okay.” I knew that it would have been amazing to take them off, but it would have been ten times worse than it was now when I then had to put them back on.

“We need to talk about you going outside like this,” he then said. He sounded serious and I looked at him.

“I get what you are saying,” I told him. “But if I don’t touch the money Simon gave me, I need to start working so I can pay the bills and have food to eat. I like having food to eat and a roof over my head.”

“And you can’t call in sick or take a vacation?” he asked.

“No. I don’t have a job. I quit my last job as I thought I would start my own business. The meeting today was a job interview. Even if I get it, I can’t start off by calling in sick or taking a vacation. Then I’ll be out of work again,” I explained. I hated that I felt inferior in some way. Like I was less just because I didn’t have it all sorted. Three days ago, I did have everything sorted.

“I see how that can be an issue,” he said. “What about working from home?”

“Sure, if I can find a job that would allow it. But I think those are mostly IT-jobs and things like that. I can handle a computer okay, but I’m not up to have it as a profession.”

“Fair. How about you let me know when you find a job or when you need to attend an interview and I will make sure it’s safe?” he asked. I had no clue how he would do that but I nodded as it sounded better than to have him work against me.

“I can do that,” I agreed. We pulled up in front of my building. “Thank you for giving me a ride,” I said.

“I’m walking you to your door,” he told me and walked around to open my door.

“Thank you.” It was the only thing I could think of to say. He opened the door to my building and let me walk inside. At the stairs, he walked first. I was happy as I tried to discreetly slip off my shoes. It felt so nice to get rid of the pressure against my sore heels. It still hurts, but not as much. I followed him up the stairs and saw him check out the landing on my floor.

“Go inside and lock the door. I’ll wait until I hear it,” he told me.

“Thank you, Hunter. I keep saying it, but I truly mean it,” I said.

“I’m happy to do it, Hana. Now get inside, keep safe and let me know if you plan any other excursions,” he told me and smiled. As usual his smile made my knees weak.

“I will,” I promised and went inside my apartment. I looked through the peephole as I locked the door and secured it. Hunter stood in the same spot listening, then it looked like he hesitated for a moment before he left. I watched until I couldn’t see him any longer and felt like a creep. When I couldn’t justify standing and looking out at the landing any longer, even to myself, I hobbled to the kitchen. I took off my pantyhose to inspect the damage and realised it was much worse than I thought. On my right foot was a blister the size of a quarter and on the left foot the blister had ruptured and left an angry looking wound. Why not? I thought. It fits the pattern of this entire week, just one more thing going wrong. It would be best if I dressed it, but I was feeling in need of a pick-me-up, so instead I turned on the kettle and made tea and took the last cupcake.