Chapter 48

After we had eaten and cleared everything away, I asked Hunter if he minded me going to my room to call Wictor.

“Not at all, sweetness. I’ll be in the gym if you need me,” he said. I nodded and headed upstairs as I sent Wictor a text.

Me: Do you have time for a call?

W: Always

I made myself comfortable on the bed and called him.

“Hi, beautiful. What’s up?” he asked.

“Hi. I need to talk about something that happened today,” I told him and he hummed to let me know he understood. “Hunter is having someone looking into Simon’s finances.”

“Sounds reasonable, and if they work for Hunter I’m guessing they will turn a blind eye to the money that ended up with you and then with the mafia,” he said.

“I think so. But the accountant had some questions for me. Like if I had any idea where Simon would hide his money and so on. Hunter had the accountant come home with him this afternoon so we could talk.”

“Okay. Where is this going? You sound worried, are you in trouble?” Wictor asked.

“No, no. Not at all. But, Wictor, the accountant is Anthony,” I told him.

“W-what? You mean my… you are talking about the Anthony from back in college?” he asked. I hadn’t heard him this shaken in years.

“Yes. It was an awkward meeting. I didn’t want to out him and he looked really lost. He told me to say ‘hi’ to you.” I paused for a moment. I didn’t know if I should tell him the next part, but then I didn’t know how I could not. “After he left Hunter told me he is out and open about his sexuality,” I told Wictor.

“Oh, really? Okay. Well, good. That’s good. I’m happy for him,” Wictor said, but I could hear the hurt in his voice.

“You are wondering why he didn’t reach out when I came out?” I asked.

“No… No. I mean… Maybe? But no, we didn’t have a relationship or anything like that. I just figured that he knew he could have reached out, as a friend,” Wictor rambled.

“Maybe he felt ashamed or didn’t know how to reach out. And I think it’s time you stopped pretending he was just a casual fling. We both know he wasn’t,” I told him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Wictor objected.

“Right, right. So the fact that you haven’t had a serious relationship since he left you, that you hold everyone you meet to an impossible high standard and that you never talk about him are just coincidences?” I asked.

“Fuck. How long have you known?” He sounded defeated.

“I have known since you first introduced me to him. I could see the way you looked at him, the way he made you smile and how you always made sure to be close to him. Even when the two of you pretended to be just friends when we were out in public. And I saw how it broke your heart when he couldn’t stay with you. It was easy to see if you knew you as well as I do,” I told him. I could hear him sigh.

“What now?” he asked.

“I don’t know. It’s up to you. I could ask for his number, I’m pretty sure Hunter would give it to me without questions. Or I can talk to him and ask if he is interested in meeting up with you. Or I can ask Hunter to give him your number. Or we do nothing.”

“I hate this. That is a lie. But I hate that I feel conflicted. Shouldn’t I be over him by now? We had a… thing, like five years ago. Why can’t I let go and move on?” Wictor asked.

“I don’t know. Unresolved feelings? Maybe you have built him up to be this perfect man in your imagination that no one else can compare to?” I suggested.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “But what happens if I meet him?”

“I have no idea. You are talking to me, remember? Not the best track record of healthy relationships. What do you want to happen?”

“I don’t know. Half of me is hoping that the spark isn’t something I made up and we can start over. Half of me is hoping we meet and I realise that we no longer have what we had back then. That I can leave the meeting feeling ready to move forward,” he told me.

“So you do want to meet him?”

“I think I have to if I want to move on.”

“Okay. How do you want to do it?” I asked.

“I think the best, and the least intrusive way, is to give him my number. I don’t even know if he is single. I don’t want to force myself into his life,” Wictor said.

“I get that. I did ask Hunter, but he didn’t know,” I told him.

“It’s okay. All I can hope for is that he at least reaches out and lets me know if he is open to meet me. Right?”

“Right. And why wouldn’t he? I’m sure he has regretted letting you go every single day since then,” I told him. Wictor laughed, but it didn’t sound truly happy.

“I think you have to say that as my sister,” he said.

“Now you listen to me, little bro. You are a catch. You are kind, loving and even funny when you have a good day. You have a steady job and you are well mannered. Even I can admit you are not bad looking. So anyone would be lucky to have you,” I told him in my big sister's voice.

“I love you too, little sis,” he told me. He sounded less sad and I relaxed a little. We would get through this as well. I was sure Hunter would help me, and regardless of what happened, at least we would have done something. If Wictor and I were good at one thing, it was to pick ourselves up and move on. We stayed on the phone for a while longer, talking about other things. Wictor told me he had some suggestions drawn up for flyers for my catering. I suggested he come over on Saturday or Sunday to show me and we could have some time talking.

“Are you sure I can just come over?” he asked.

“Hunter has already said he doesn’t mind as long as I tell him in time for him to put on clothes,” I said and I heard how it sounded the moment the words left my mouth. I slapped my hand over my eyes, happy no one was around to see me blush.

“You dirty, dirty skank! Are the two of you just walking around naked?” Wictor happily shouted.

“Oh my lord. No! That came out wrong. He just wanted to make sure he is presentable,” I tried to tell him.

“Mhm. I’ll come over, but I’m bringing antiseptic wipes. Can’t be sure who sat on what surface with your wild side coming out,” he teased. I wanted to object again, but an image of Hunter eating me on the kitchen counter stopped me in my tracks.

“You are just horrible,” I said.

“Jesus Christ on a motorbike, you aren’t even denying it! Do I need to wear a hazmat suit? Should I even be wearing clothes at all?” he continued teasing me.

“I hate you so much!”

“I love you too, beautiful. Thank you for calling me and telling me everything, and sticking around to cheer me up,” he said.

“Always. And remember that you can call anytime if you need to. God only knows I have leaned on you more times than I can count. You can lean on me as well,” I reminded him.

“I know. I can tell how you have changed since meeting that naked silver fox. It makes me happy for you. Now go and do whatever the two of you do in the evenings.” We said goodbye and I headed downstairs again. Hunter wasn’t out of the gym yet, and I didn’t want to disturb him. I got a glass of milk and put on a show to watch. About an hour later, Hunter came walking, fresh out of the shower. He got a bottle of water and collapsed onto the couch, putting his head in my lap. I smiled down at him.

“Tough workout?” I asked.

“It was just what I needed, but now I’m spent. I’m getting old,” he grumbled. I laughed.

“You have been working out for over two hours. I think everyone will be tired after that,” I said. He did a kind of shrug and drank half the bottle of water in one go. I was bad at asking for help and I spent a long time just playing with Hunter’s damp hair. “Hunter, could you do me a favour?” I asked.

“Sure. What do you need?” he asked. I hesitated. “Sweetness?”

“If I gave you Wictor’s phone number, would you give it to Anthony and ask that he call Wictor if he wanted to? Don’t tell him he has to, just if he wants to.”

“Sure,” he said. Like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Really?” I asked, leaning over him. Taking my hand from his hair to support me by placing it on his chest.

“It’s not a big deal. You are asking me to give someone a phone number and ask him to call it if he wants to. I would do far bigger things for you,” he told me, took my hand and kissed it, then placed it back in his hair. I took the hint and started to play with his hair again.

“Thank you,” I said. I leaned down low and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“You need to learn to ask for big things,” he told me.

“I’m happy with small things when I know they will make the people I care about happy,” I explained.

“Freaking adorable,” he muttered as he placed a hand on the back of my neck and made me bend lower so he could kiss me.