Chapter 25: Zairi

It took me a while to make sense of the words Dane spoke.

I stared ahead.Not really seeing anything.Suddenly my world had turned blank.A void.I remained that way.

"Hey.." A hand touched my shoulder lightly.I looked over at Dane's concerned face floating before my eyes."Are you alright..?You don't look good."

My brows furrowed. Hunh...? What is he talking about..?Why won't I be alright..?

"I am fine."I said in a monotone voice taking my eyes away from his face and focusing on the fight that had already started.

"Oh well. I've been calling your name for the last 5 minutes.Do you want to leave.?" He asked.I looked back at him.No thoughts crossed my head.

"May be we should go.You don't look fine to me." His narrowed eyes focused on my face.

What..? "Yeah ,let’s go." Hunh. Did I speak aloud.?! But I didn't, did I..?

Leave here.Yeah. Maybe I should do that.Why was I still standing here..?

Not see Aeran. Nor that girl.

I should go.

Grabbing my hand Dane pulled me behind him as he made his way back to the pack house.It was then the shouts and aggression on the field behind me made its presence known.I glanced back to look once more.

I cannot leave Aeran here.Can I..?

"No we should go back." I resisted as Dane didn't stop pulling me along with him.We were gaining more distance from him.

"What if he gets hurt..?Who'll look after him..?I have to go back.Stop it." It didn't look like he heard me.I shouted then."Stop it.I am not going anywhere. Aeran needs me here.What if he .."

Dane stopped suddenly.I crashed into his back.Turning back to me ,he scowled "Are you fucking insane.You want to go back..?To do what..?Look after a fucker who doesn't even acknowledges you..?"

He threw my hand down and ran his hand through his hair.

I don't know what he saw on my face but the next second, he was hugging me to himself."Stop making that face."

I brought up my hands to return his hug.I crushed his T-shirt in my hands holding tightly.

"He has married me.I am his WIFE.He took his vows before God.Before his parents.Before all these people.Then why is she allowed to stand there by his side..?" I whispered brokenly."Why doesn't he see me..?Tell me.Please tell me."

His answer was to tighten his hold further.

Oh Holy Mother..Please make this all go away.I am tired.So tired.

Why do I have to suffer like this..??

What have I done so wrong.??

How am I supposed to live like this..?

I pushed back from Dane and ran to my room.Closing the door shut I raced to my makeshift bed and pulled the quilt up over my head.Nothing can reach me here.I shut my eyes tightly and prayed to the Mother Nature to grant me this small mercy,to let me just get lost in oblivion for a few hours at least.

From ZAIRI to AERAN

I don't sleep at night, thoughts of you, keep me awake even in my sleep, When sometime sleep does arrives, you enter my dreams without any knock or footfall, or voice or sound of any kind To torment me.

In the morning I try finding your shadow to hide in but like the stars you retreat and hide so far in the sky My heart travels, wanders in search of you I cross this Earth and that Universe, not leaving a single place alone, But I never seem to find you.

When I return, tired, I see you, already belonging to someone else Then I fall apart just like the petals of a flower, cruelly torn, all removed and remote from each other, With no chance of ever getting whole again.