Feeling the frown take over my face I looked at my mom. She looked so much younger and happier here. The reaction she gave me growing up was that she hated my dad with a passion. Was that all a front?
"Why did you make me believe that you hated him?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.
"Why did you knock over Blazes bike?"
Great we were back to her ignoring my questions and trying to change the subject.
"Because he's a fucking asshole" I yelled "He thinks I'm his. The guys nuts".
"Ava calm down" She said approaching me "Come back to your party" Placing her hand on my arm I shrugged it off.
"No mom you go back to the party and I'll go home".
"Ava we ca-"
"I'm going home" I said cutting her off "You can come back with me or you can stay here. I don't care any more but I will not be staying here. I came here to see him again and now I wished I hadn't. That man in there is not my dad anymore. He's not the man that was there when I was little. That in there is a monster. I'm a grown women mom and I want to make a good living for myself. I will not ruin all my hard work by being involved with what they do". Feeling my heart thud through my chest I looked at her to see she had began to cry.
"I-I can't leave him again" She sobbed
"You don't have to" I whispered taking her hand in mine causing her to look at me.
"What do you mean Ava?".
"Stay here mom. He's obviously a better man with you by his side" I spoke
"You cant go home on your own Ava. What if something happens to you?" She whispered wiping at her eyes.
"I love and respect you mom. I always have and always will but I need to go home. I don't belong here and I never will. Please don't make me feel guilty about going home" I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
"Look at my baby" She cried "All grown up, if you want to go home Ava then baby I won't stop you. I never was going to either. He does love you you know, he may look like a big tough guy but you will always be his baby and no matter what he will always protect you" She whispered kissing the side of my head.
Hearing that about my dad was hard to believe. He had hardly spoken to me at all. "Can you please get my bag for me it's in there somewhere and mom what ever you do don't tell dad I'm leaving" I begged
Nodding her head she pulled me to her "Please be safe Ava and if theres any trouble at all you call me. Go wait by your car. I'll be back soon".
As she began to walk away from me I felt the tears spring to my eyes. I wanted this but I never realised how hard it would be to leave my mom. Wiping away my tears I straighten my shoulders and made way for my car.
Leaning on the hood I stared at the clubhouse. Was I meant to be here? Is this where my life was suppose to be? Could it be better here if I make the effort?
What was I going to do about Blaze? There was no doubt I liked him but I didn't trust him. A biker sticking to the one women? I wasn't prepared to get my heart broken.
"Darlin" came his smooth husky voice.
Closing my eyes I kept my head down. I was hoping I wouldn't have to see him. I needed to forget about him. No matter that he thinks I'm his we could never be.
"You just going to leave without saying goodbye?" He asked
Keeping my head down I could feel his breath on my hair. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as a shiver rocked through my body.
Feeling his hand caress my cheek he placed two fingers under my chin pulling my head up so I could look at him. Staring into his eyes my breathing hitched. He was looking at me the way my dad looks at my mom.
"What do you want me to say Blaze?" I asked causing his hand to fall from my face. "I hardly know you and your already saying I'm yours. You like me then you hate me. I'm confused".
"Only trying to protect you sweets" He sighed pulling a cigarette from his cut "You're my prez daughter Ava and I know I shouldn't feel this way but fuck me I can't stop thinking about you. 8 years is a long fucking time" Lighting his cigarette he took a seat beside me.
He's been watching me for 8 years? Holy cow.
Stealing the cigarette from his mouth I took a long draw. Feeling the rush from not having one in so long I lay right back and stared at the stars. How did I end up here? Oh yeah because I'm a fucking idiot. Finishing the cigarette I threw it away. My mom sure was taking her time.
"Thought you didn't smoke?" He asked
"You've been watching me for 8 years?" I asked at the same time.
"8 mother fucking long years. You have no idea how much I wanted to kill those little faggots that always hit on you" he growled.
Chuckling I sat up and shoved his shoulder "What would you have done? put a bullet in them?" I joked.
"Was close to it a few times" He said sounding deadly serious "Wasn't suppose to feel this way darlin. Fought it for so long, tried as hard as I could to get you out of my head and then you show up here and I turn into a fucking soppy kid".
"Holding a gun to my head is you turning into a soppy kid?" I asked.
Chuckling he grabbed my leg and pulled me down beside him causing a squeal to leave my mouth. Pulling me onto his lap so I was facing him he grabbed my face in both hands. Why did I feel so comfortable and safe with him?
"Stay" He whispered running his thumbs over my cheeks.
"I-I can't" I stuttered bringing my hands up so I could grab onto his wrists.
"Why" He growled his eyebrows frowning in anger.
"Why should I stay? What do I stay for? I have no job, no where to live. I didn't go through all of high school and university to stay here and become a biker whore" I yelled escaping off his lap.
"Fine" He snapped standing to his full height "Fuck off then" He glared before storming off.
Placing a hand over my beating heart I shuddered. How can he say he's wanted me for so long and then speak to me like that?
This is what I wanted. This is good if he's angry he won't come after me. No he'll just go fuck a whore and forget about me. Why did I feel so guilty about leaving him? A man I barely know and already I don't want to be away from him. No it wouldn't work all we do is fight.
Shaking Blaze from my mind I sat on the hood of my car and waited. Where the hell was my mum and what was taking her so long?
Hearing footsteps I turned to see my mom making her way towards me. Thank god I could get the hell out of here now.
"Sorry honey I was gathering a few things for you to take back home and also explaing to your dad-..
"Mom you said you wouldn't, I understand this is part of your life but I want nothing to do with it. Yes I'll visit on holidays but thats it. I don't want his men following me around".
"Calm down Ava I managed to get him to agree to you going back home but there is one condition" She spoke pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
"What's the condition" I asked having a bad feeling about it.
"One of his guys visits you every three months just to make sure you're okay.. Don't look at me like that Ava I completely agree with him. I need to know my babys safe".
Then come home with me!
"Fine whatever. Now give me my keys" I blinked knowing the tears were going to come. This was the last time I was going to see my mom for a long while.
"Be safe baby" She cooed pulling me in for a mamma bear cuddle. "Theres a little something I added in. Its in your bag but don't open it until you're home. Promise me Ava".
"I promise, I better get going before it gets any later. Love you mom and I'll see you soon" Giving her one more hug I jumped in my car, started my engine and got the hell out of there.