Chapter 173: Chapter Fifty-One-2

"Your father talked excessively of taking you away. He didn't think the business, being president of the company, or all the money in the world was worth losing his family over. And I was so proud he thought that way. I just didn't expect it like this. What I think happened was that explosion, it was all planned somehow. I do not know how but your father and your mother and Brent and you—you didn't die in the fire. He somehow got all of you out. He ran away with all of you, changed your names. Your identities. Faked his own death so Victor would stop pursuing him because it wasn't a crime of power or money anymore, it was a crime of passion. The only way was to pretend to be dead." She downs the rest of her glass. "I just didn't realize I wasn't worth enough to stay." Sobs break out of her and she put her hands to cover her face and all I can do is be in shock. "Oh god, t-that sounds terribly selfish. I knew he couldn't s-stay. I just wished he would write a letter or send some sort of message he was alive so I didn't have to live everyday thinking my son—my entire family—was dead because of me, because of the vicious empire I'd created. Money is a murderous thing." I slide closer across the black leather seats and place an arm around her. I can't say anything to console her. The story itself is giving me a heart attack. What she said happened, there's no way. It's too crazy, too unbelievable. All I can do is pull her close as tears fall down my face as well. "And it didn't end there," she continues. "If your father made it out of that fire, so did Victor. Your father thought he'd made it, created a safe life for his kids in suburban New York. But Victor found him. And when the danger arose again, he knew the only way to get rid of him again was to do the same thing he did last time. Play with death. "This time, just him. To make it authentic, he made his death believable. The real grief from your mother and the funeral, it was all a plan for your safety. He knew if he cut himself out, there would be nothing Victor could touch. Without your father, your mother was a happy painter without a care for anything in the world. She never liked the high end life anyways. And this time, he'd disappear. For real." "My father faked his death again? To keep me safe? To keep us safe?" I say, repeating what I'm hearing. I've never been so shaken by words. My stomach is in knots and I don't know if I want to throw up or cry for a million years. My whole life has been a lie. She nods. "I do not know the certain details. Nobody really knows but your father. But he was intelligent enough to disappear for real. That's why you're life has been peaceful. Until now." "Until now?" "Victor must've found him again. Or realized he's alive. If I can find your father after just a couple months of searching, Victor, who is hell bent on finding your father, can just as easily find him. Victor has connections, too. And that's why your mother's not safe." "My mother? What?" "I believe Victor knows your father is alive but he cannot find your father. He will do anything to hurt your father, even if that means hurting your mother or you to lure him out. And your father will come. He'd risk everything to save you three. Brent is safer than you and your mother who are right in New York, but I've sent security to watch your brother anyways." I open my mouth and will it to speak but I can't find the words to put this whirlwind of fear and rage and sadness into words. Brent? In danger? And then, as if my brain finally wakes up and stops avoiding everything Madam Jin has told me, my brain connects the dots and a new question forms in my head. And I hope the answer is no. "Did..Did Victor purposely hurt my mother—attempt to kill her or cause her coma—to bring my father out of hiding? Would he do that?" I ask and my voice cracks near the end. There is a pain in my throat, the one I get where I'm upset and incredibly sad at the same time. I try to gulp it down but it stays, beating in my throat. Madam Jin sighs and I hear the answer in that alone. She reaches for the bourbon again, pouring another glass, fuller this time. "Yes," she simply says, looking down, and then she sips two giant gulps. "I—my mother!" I cry and I cannot find anything else to scream or say. "My mother is not a chess piece! She is not a pawn to get my father! How dare he touch my mother?" "It's a good thing you switched hospitals and left town. It was only a matter of time before he tried you to get your father out," she says. "Please do not get angry or blame your father. He only wants to keep everyone safe, even if it does not feel like it, even if it feels like abandonment. Trust me. He probably came to Lee's birthday dinner because he knew your mother wasn't around at that time and could watch and make sure you were okay without endangering everyone." "I'm not angry. I'm just...shocked." I run both hands through my hair and leave my hands in my scalp, tugging my hair as if to wake up from the little pinch of pain. No luck. "Where is he now? My mother's in a coma. Why isn't he here now then?" Madam Jin frowns, looking at me with a fragile expression. "You know why. It's too much of a risk." "Sorry, I'm just...hurt. Surprised. Broken. Angry. Unstable." "I know how it feels," she answers and from the weight of her words, I can sense she felt the same things when she learnt her son was still alive. It must've been harder for her. Thinking her family had been murdered only to realize her son had chosen to leave her in the dark about his whole plan. At least I'd thought my father had died in an accident, a less violent death. "That's why I have increased security. My security will follow you around, too. But less obviously and dressed undercover." My jaw almost touches the floor. This is my life now. How the hell did I get here? "I can't believe this is real. I can't believe I believe you. This is crazy," I repeat over and over, tripping over my own words and emotions. "This is crazy." "This is the truth," she sadly replies. The entire day afterwards our talk, I go back to the dorm, put on sweatpants and a shirt, and curl up into a ball in bed all day. Giselle won't be coming back till late night. I don't know how else to handle all this news except to hide from the world under my safe blankets. It still doesn't feel real. I won't believe it until it smack hits me physically in the face. It's funny how months ago my most intense problems were Lee and Mark and Penny. Harmless affairs and soft lies were my main concern. And now, this. Life altering and dangerous news. Because I've let my mind wander there, I can't help but imagine those pretty blue eyes. I can't help but remember that really nice day when Lee and I ran away, leaving behind every worrisome thing. I wish so badly I could do that again. To see him. Even if we're not in the same place we used to be months ago, he'd at least understand. He was there throughout my mother's coma and Madam Jin's first theories. Through all my bad and good times to understand my feelings without me having to explain them. I don't know if I miss him or the aspect of him being a safety net to fall into. A sudden knock jolts me out of my thoughts.