Chapter 39

Being with Darrius in this huge barrel-like tub was sheer indulgence. Everywhere he touched me I felt branded as though he was leaving a fiery mark upon my flesh. In his arms, the world faded and all that was left was us… primal and raw and desperate for one another.

That’s what I craved whenever I wasn’t with him, and I wished there was a way we could hide away from the world and be just the two of us. His warmth and touch had ensured me that I was still alive.

When the creature had taken me into the blackness, it was like nothing existed. No light. No air. Nothing. I was drowning and I thought I was going to die. All I could think about was how much I wanted to live and that my mom hadn’t gotten to say goodbye and I didn’t want to do the same to Darrius, Malcolm, or Simeon.

My heart had splintered into a million jagged pieces of regret. My men’s faces burning in my mind and how much I cared for them and wanted more than anything to see them one last time. Then Darrius had rescued me.

But a coldness still marinated inside, like some of the creature remained on me despite the bath and the Varaux’s magic wash. It wasn’t until Darrius and I had sex and I climaxed that the feeling eased.

Now I didn’t want to move, wrapped in the blanket and Darrius’ arms. Didn’t want to face the real world and that monsters did exist. A cool breeze wafted over me and I shivered. What if we hadn’t killed the creature and it was still in the castle, lurking in the shadows? I tried to push aside my mounting fear as we held each other. His warmth enveloped me.

“How do you feel?” he asked, his voice deep and husky.

“Content after our amazing sex.” I trailed lazy circles across the muscles along his arm.

His chuckle rumbled in his chest. “I was asking about the shadow kin, but good to know I had that effect on ye to forget everything else. Ye sure know how to feed a man’s ego.”

I joined in his laughter, tickling his side until he clasped my fingers, bringing them up to his mouth and kissing the tips.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Famished.” Not to mention I wanted something to warm the cluster of ice starting to grow in my belly again after thinking about the monster. “You?”

“Aye. Especially after fighting or sex and we’ve done both.” He brushed his lips over mine in a feather-light kiss. “I’ll send the servants to bring us some breakfast and we’ll eat in bed.”

“After breakfast, I’d like to get my weapons back. Even have one of the servants fasten holders in my garments so I could have them at all times.” I felt naked, hopeless without them. And I didn’t like counting on others to protect me. I had to do something about this gnawing fear that was chewing holes in my confidence.

“Ye have us to protect ye now. Today was a mistake and never should have happened.” He climbed out of bed. "Though, I kin you wantin' to have 'em with ye."

I sat up, watching him as he put his trousers on, and felt the need to explain further. “Battling Fae—dark ones—is what I trained years for. If I had worn my iron daggers, I could’ve killed the creature or at least given it a stomach ache. I need to be able to protect myself in case something like this happens again.” Darrius’ frown had my breath locked in my chest.

“I kin, but ye shouldn’t have been alone—”

“I can take care of myself if I have the proper tools. And there will probably be times that you three can't be with me.” My wings, which I was still getting used to, stretched out of my back and rustled. “You know that I’m a fighter. It’s not logical for me to be without my own personal protection in case of an emergency exactly like today.”

“I kin that, lass. I do. But don’t get in a battle of wills against me. We’re here to protect ye.” He glared down at me, but there was a twinkle of mischief in his emerald eyes. “I will spank ye over my knee if I have to if it means keeping ye safe.”

Fire spiked in my belly and my wings flared outward behind me. I gave him a sly smile. “You could try.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched and for a moment, I thought he was going to argue, but then he chuckled. “I will see that ye have yer weapons back, lass, I want ye prepared. Still though, ye need us at yer side. Don't be takin' on the dark Fae willie nille, yer the queen now, and we'd be lost without ye.” I opened my mouth, but he interrupted me.

“Nay, I already know what ye’re going to say. That ye spent more than half your life fighting and are more than capable of defending yerself.” He crossed his arms over his chest, daring me to challenge him. “But that was the occasional Fae that popped out Earthside. Like that game with the hammer, you all play…”

“Whack-a-mole?” I guessed.

“Aye, that one. Those turn up here and there in a small box and ye can smash them easy. But you’re in the Fae realms now. There be too many dark Fae for ye to smash no matter how good ye are at the hammer game. So, promise me, ye won’t go anywhere alone.”

“Today was an exception because I didn’t have my weapons on me.” When I had first come here, I had an arsenal of weapons that Darrius and the others seized, and I hadn’t gotten them back since. “If I had my knives—the shadow kin’s tentacles would be mounted as a trophy.”

"Aye, I imagine ye would have, lass. Givin' ye back yer weapons is the right thing to do. Smart even. So that's what we'll do, though ye may get arguments from the others, ye won't from me."

I cupped his cheek, turning him to look at me. “Thank you. I’m not asking for my weapons to show I don’t need you all, but so that I am never caught in some silly moment unprepared.”

He smiled, taking my hand. “Ye have to agree not to take any unnecessary risks and that ye’ll have one of us with you as often as possible. As I said, yer the queen now, ye have the whole of the Seelie depending on ye to stay alive. Deal, lass?”

"Deal. I promise to remember." I was glad that he was seeing things my way and not really arguing with me about it. I could meet his stipulation, as long as I had the added security of my weapons. “I also want to bring my friend Maggie over for a visit.”

His face reddened darker than the highlights in his hair. “The Unseelie concubine?”

I slapped his shoulder. “She is not. Don’t call her that.” If I hadn’t disappeared over the border, she’d never have come looking for me. Unfortunately, she’d gotten snatched up by Unseelie and spent time with them. I hadn’t even heard the full story as she was only here briefly after I orchestrated a dinner with both Fae clans to talk of peace.

That had gone over as well as trying to drink an elephant through a straw. Both sides were tense, unyielding, and not even speaking to each other unless they had to. The night had ended soon after with nothing to show for it except am ped up tensions on both sides.

“Ye want to bring Unseelie back into the castle? Are ye mad, woman?” He pushed up from the bed, staring down at me in disbelief. “Do ye not remember the poisoned arrow I found yesterday?”

“We don’t know who put that there,” I argued. “Not everyone is pleased to have me on the throne, and you know it.”

“Even so, none would dare to raise a hand against our mate. We three are united in that ye are our queen.” He lifted his chin. “And yer wings attest to the fact ye are the late queen’s daughter. No this is Unseelie, I can feel it in my bones.”

I bristled. “Not all Unseelie are evil just as not all Seelie are good.”

His grumbled breath and strode to the door. “Where are the damn servants? I’ll be back with food. Don’t leave these chambers until I return. Varaux!”

“What now?” the brownie asked, appearing in the room. He wore striped pajamas and a matching sleeping cap.

“Watch her. If anything happens to her before I get back, I’ll rip off yer head.”

The door slammed shut with Darrius’ departure and Varaux did a mocking mimicry of him.

“So, what do you do for Darrius?” I asked, needing to learn about this world more and my people rather than how to fight them. Too long I had a one-track focus of eliminating as many as possible. But I had been wrong, and I wanted to discover more about these realms that my men had been born and raised in.

“Whatever he wants.” The brownie sat on the edge of the bed. “Usually he leaves me alone and I, him.”

“Thanks again for drawing the bath and taking care of the magic—guts—residue.” Whatever it was called. I could still feel it under my skin. Like it had sunk underneath my flesh. I didn’t want to insult Varaux by asking him to re-cleanse me again. Was probably just my brush with death that was making me still feel freaked out.

“Ah, no bother.” He hopped onto the trunk at the end of the bed. “Makes it worth it to see Darrius making a fool of himself for love again.”

“What do you mean?” Was this what Darrius had started to tell me earlier?

Varaux paled. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait.” I leaned forward to stop him, but it was too late, he was already gone.

Crap. I chewed on my lip, glancing at the door. Darrius had given him an order to stay so what had happened in the past that he fled and disobeyed an order not to tell me? Was it connected to what Darrius had started to say in the bath earlier about dying once?

I paced in the bedroom. How long before Darrius returned? The walls darkened with the sun vanishing behind clouds. I told myself that was the logical reason, but it felt like the room was shrinking. Shadows elongated along the ceiling and I cringed, ducking down further in the blankets.

Fear broke my control, my training. I had to get out of here and find Darrius or one of the others. I didn’t have my weapons yet and being alone made me feel exposed. Like the shadows and that creature were watching me. Darrius hadn’t killed the inky thing, so what if it healed quickly and was seeking me out again?

Keeping the blanket around me, I leapt from the bed and bolted for the door.

I flew out into the hallway and down the stairs toward the weapons’ chambers. My bare feet slapped across the stone floor. Unease gnawed at my insides and I kept looking over my shoulder because I swore the shadows were chasing me.

Without knocking, I threw open the door and lurched inside. Swords, daggers, shields, and a dozen knives and other weapons hung from the walls. Somewhere clustered in barrels with a cemetery even an OCD person would admire.

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled as a figure reached out of the darkness and grabbed my arm.

I screamed, kicking and punching, but my attack had no effect. From the hallway, a howl sounded, and the creature dove for me, knocking both of us to the floor. Pain exploded on the back of my skull and I couldn’t breathe with this creature’s weight on me. I clawed, fighting to get free, but it was like I was inside the inky creature again. This was it. I’d escaped death only for it to find me again now. A scream gurgled up from my lungs.