Chapter 44: Chapter Twenty Three-2

He drags me towards him. I lean into him and he groans. "Closer." he begs. "Come closer." "If I come any closer, I will be on your lap." I point out with a shy smile. "Exactly." he demands, pointing to his lap. I feel my cheeks colour as I straddle his lap, facing him. I unzip his leather jacket and run my hands down his defined chest, loving the fact he is wearing a plain, white t-shirt. I feel him shiver under my touch. He looks up at me, his eyelashes long and full, probably longer than mine, even. He runs his hands up my arm. I wish it was warm enough out to feel skin on skin, but I couldn't have ridden on the bike without a jacket tonight. I'm leaning towards him, his light lips drawing me in. His lips press against mine and I sigh in content. He tastes of familiarity and comfort - bringing back wonderful memories of us together. His hands fall to my sides, bunching up my jacket tightly as the kiss deepens. I rock myself back and forth slightly and love the groan the emits form his throat. "You know how to drive me fucking crazy," he pants, staring up at me. "All this time... you're the only one who can make me feel this good." "Really?" I whisper, running my hands down the sides of his face. He nods, looking very serious. "Isobel..." "What?" "I am in love with you." he admits, his gaze unwavering. "I loved you then and I love you now. I know we have things we need to discuss and everything else that is going on, but I just need you to know." My eyes are burning with wet tears as I stare down to him. My heart feels like it is jammed in my throat. "You don't need to say anything," he assures me, his fingers wrapping around the loose bits of hair that are framing my face. "I just had to tell you." A tear slides down my cheek. He gently captures it, his lips parting. "I've always been in love with you, Miles." I whimper. And that's when we both lose control. His hands are everywhere. His lips move passionately with mine. My jacket is off and I have no idea how or when that happened. I'm pressed against the hard, wooden seat, his tongue dragging across my collarbone. I am moaning for him and I am not embarrassed to show my desperation for his touch. This boy loves me. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that after all these months, he is here and he loves me. My legs are around his waist, my fingers are tugging at his hair and his hands are possessively stroking my thighs. He tugs at my waist band. "Your jeans are so tight." he groans and sticks his fingers between my skin and the waist band, unable to get any further. "I didn't expect this to happen," I tell him breathlessly with a laugh. "Let's go back to my place," he suggests eagerly. I raise my eyebrows at him. "Okay." "Really?" he asks. "You're sure?" "Yes, let's go," I tell him with a wide smile. He tugs me to my feet. He helps me put my jacket on and it's only then, I realise, how cold my arms were. It's hard to think properly when Miles has his mouth on me. He drags me to the motorbike and we both are silent as we do up our helmet. My visor fogs up straight away, because of my breathlessness. I climb onto the back of the bike. The tires squeal as he jets forward, taking the road much faster. Now that I'm used to the feeling of the bike, I tighten my hands around him and let myself enjoy the thrill. When we pull up to his house, there are a number of cars on the lawn and there's loud music. Miles clenches his jaw as we walk up the path, his hand in mine. "If I had a choice, I would not live here," he mutters and I can feel my anxiety weighing down on my chest, like a bag of bricks. "Can you talk to your dad? See if there's another place you can rent?" my voice sounds strained and thick. "And make him pay more of his precious money on a fuck up like me?" he asks sourly and I frown, wishing there was something I could do to help. "Don't say that about yourself," I insist. "It's not true." "Isn't it?" He pulls me inside and the house is stuffy. I wrinkle my nose at the smell of smoke. There's bodies passed out on the lounge room and there's two girls making out against the wall. I feel sick as I watch the people stumble around, thinking of Miles being in this situation. Does he come out and join the party...? Surely he would? "So sorry about this," he sighs. "I didn't know there would be a party." "Does this happen a lot?" I have to ask. "Yep." My throat dries out and I feel sick. "Can I have some water?" "Sure." He leaves me in the hall for a moment. Emily walks out of her room, wearing her skimpy, corset attire. She rolls her eyes when she sees me. She turns around and walks up the hall, a smirk on her face. I turn my back to her and don't bother to pay attention, not wanting to make myself feel any worse. "All the bottles are gone, I hope this is alright." he tells me, re-appearing with a glass in his hand. "That's fine, thank you," I say, taking a sip, to relieve my parched throat. He takes my hand again and leads me to his room. The burning desire I felt minutes ago is long gone. The second I set foot in here, I felt reminded of the trust and security issues I have with Miles. I had no idea things were like this. My mind turns into mush when we're alone. He can say anything to me and I am putty in his hands. He curses when he sees his door open. As I walk in, a shocked gasp leaves my lips as there is a girl, lying on Miles' bed, only dressed in her bra and underwear. "Miles," she smiles teasingly, flicking her dark hair over her shoulder. "You're finally back." My foot feels wet and I glance down, to see the glass I had in my hand, now lying on the floor, water spilling out from it. I am shaking as I stare down at my feet, feeling humiliated that I let myself fall for in his trap again. I almost... I was going to... I am running. I am weaving through the crowd of people, feeling my heart crushing inside my chest with every step. He calls for me but I don't turn around. I feel like someone has a grip on my heart and with each agonising step, they are squeezing tighter and tighter. Tears spill from my eyes as I run, hardly drawing a breath. I am a damn fool.