***Chapter Fifty-Five***
The following afternoon, I was skating back to the main building enjoying the air. Last night got a bit crazy with Julie. I haven't seen her all day and I think that was for the better. I'm confused about where that came from. She seemed so angry with me for no reason. All because I didn't drink to any of the questions asked. It's ridiculous if you ask me.
Getting in front of the building, I walked up the stairs before being whistled at from behind. When I turned around, I saw Drew leaning against the railing. He had on a very comfy-looking hoodie and didn't look to be in the best of moods. His face was stoic and it wasn't because he drank so much last night. There were other things Drew had in mind.
"Drew, what's up?" I asked, walking back down the steps to him.
He jerks his head to the left. "Come on, we're making a quick trip." His face stayed the same.
I wasn't sure what he meant. "Okay, where are we going?"
"To pay someone a visit," is all he said.
There was no time to question him anymore as he was already walking to his car. Groaning, it didn't take long for me to follow in his footsteps. We threw my board in his trunk before he drove off campus. One of these days I'll get enough of traveling with him to the unknown. There was never a time when Drew didn't take me somewhere. Only this time, it was warranted.
Before that, on the drive there I couldn't help but ask him some questions. After last night and my talk with Dre, it was pushing me to find out more. I'm tired of being left in the dark. He needed to give me at least a little something to help make our relationship progress. As much as it could progress given the state that we're in. If we were going to keep secretly seeing one another, he needed to answer something. Anything!
I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear before speaking. "Drew," I look at him. "Last night got a bit chaotic don't you think?"
He nods. "It was all the beer we were drinking," he says and I agree with that.
"Yeah, but I was thinking...could you possibly tell me anything about your relationship with Julie?" I finally brought it up. "To be putting up with her shitty attitude I at least deserve to know something."
His eyes glanced at me like he didn't want me to ask that question. He couldn't expect me to keep quiet forever. I'm nicely sitting in the background awaiting my turn and he's giving me nothing. If he couldn't tell me about his life and his relationship, then how can we be anything? It shouldn't have been that hard for him to tell me, but sadly it was.
He pulled into the front of the bar and I knew why we were here. Before we would go inside though, we would get into a bit of an argument. And by bit, I mean a pretty big argument. Usually, I threaten to not speak to him for a while, but this time I meant it. We couldn't keep going on like this. Not when feelings were involved. My feelings.
His face turned angry like he couldn't believe I was asking him again. "Why must we have this same conversation over and over?" He sounded annoyed.
His energy shifting surprised me, but I stood my ground. "Because Drew, you keep leaving me in the dark," I argue. "If you're not going to break up with her then you need to tell me why. It's only fair."
Fair didn't seem to matter to him. "Annabelle, I told you already it's complicated," he looked at me with intensity in his eyes. "Why can't you understand that?"
"What's complicated is expecting me to continue with this secret relationship while telling me nothing." I counter.
His eyes roll. "Yet you agreed to it. Nowhere did we say that'll tell you my whole life story." He was getting more angry.
Our back and forth was getting us nowhere. He wasn't willing to budge and I wasn't either. He's right that I agreed to see him on the side, but not to continuously be left in the dark like this. It feels like everyone around me knows stuff that I don't. Not to mention I'm the one who had to deal with Juliana acting a fool. Not Drew, me.
Even if you take away all of that, at the end of the day it was his idea. He saw what happened with the hat and he still asked to kiss me. He still asked me to be his friend with the extra addition of benefits. There isn't any way that he didn't know how I felt about him and he's been using that to his advantage. I'm here to remind him that he's not about to have his cake and eat it too. Either he tells me what's up or we can end it all together.
Now there was a frown on my face. "You're right, we didn't agree to that but don't you think I'm owed at least a little bit of detail?" I huff. "I just want to know you, Drew."
"What if I don't want you to know me? Did you ever think about that Annabelle!" He yelled at me.
My heart hurt hearing him say that. "But...but why?" My voice quivers.
He sighs. "Because...it's too much baggage. Nobody ever stays friends with a drug addict."
That startled me. The last thing I expected him to say were the words drug addict. It never occurred to me that that could be what he was so afraid to tell me. It wasn't anything I could be mad at him about nor would it push me away. Those words only made me more curious to know how that happened. I'm far from scared. More concerned.
We stayed silent for a second as I replayed what he said in my head. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I personally never seen him do any sort of drugs, but it makes sense why he was so weird about taking the cough medicine. The reason why he said he doesn't do drugs. It made me feel bad for making him do it. If he told me that before we could've come up with another solution to make him feel better.
With how much of a shock it was, I didn't expect him to go into detail. "You...you don't have to tell me more if—"
"It's too late. You're right, if I'm going to have you do this with me I should at least give you something." He finally agreed.
It took a lot for him to explain, but when he did things started making a little more sense. The reason I didn't notice is because he hid it so well. It took his family until his sophomore year of high school for them to finally step in and help. It wasn't just simple marijuana he was doing either. Drew was into some pretty hard-core stuff that you wouldn't expect a teenager to be into. I'm surprised it took them that long to get him help.
Regardless, he wouldn't go into specific detail about how he and Juliana started dating. Only that their relationship served a purpose and it would be hard to get out of. It sort of made sense, but not completely. I mean, he's dating her and has been for so long. Wouldn't that purpose be obsolete by now? Every time I asked him to tell me something about his life, it only left me with more questions.
Drew sighed, finally feeling relief for telling me at least that much. "So yeah, the guy you look up to is a drug addict." He didn't sound happy about it.
"You mean a recovered drug addict," I correct him. "But it still doesn't make sense to me. You and Julie have been dating for so long. You have to feel something real by now."
He agrees. "Yes and I do...sometimes," he admits. "Other times I just want her to go away and other, other times I wish I could...do something else."
My cheeks flushed because he looked at me when he said his last words. I'm not sure what it could've meant but I had a sneaking suspicion of what. This wasn't a moment I should be relishing but it was so hard not to. Given the fact that I've been waiting so long for him. This was music to my ears, yet sad once more as it didn't solidify anything for our future. If he felt something for both of us and there's more to their strange relationship, I don't stand a chance.
I fiddle with my fingers looking down at them. "So...I guess my next question would be do you see a future? Maybe with us...together?" I pegged.
"Annabelle—"
"Don't answer that. The truth would just hurt." I giggled nervously.
He lets out a soft chuckle. "Well, can I ask you a question this time?"
"You just did," I joke as he gives me a look. "Sorry, the air was just so tense."
Drew laughed before becoming stoic again. "Knowing all of that...do you think...I mean...can we possibly..." he has a hard time finding the words. "Truthfully, there's a risk to dating me, do you think you could handle it?"
His question stunned me for a second. Would I be able to handle it? The risk is that Drew could relapse at any given point. We're here on a campus far away from his parents. There isn't anyone besides Juliana watching him carefully. Even then, she's so busy she doesn't even know what he's doing half the time. Taking her out of the equation, would I be able to handle it if he were ever to go back to his bad habits? Does having this information change any of my feelings for him? The answer is simple.
I smile with a nod of my head. "Drew, I would stick by your side through anything," I say confidently. "Your addiction is only a part of you. A part that's important sure, but it'll never change the way I feel."
My words must've been what he wanted to hear because as soon as I finished, his hands wrapped around the back of my neck. He pulled me toward him and we were in one of many of our magical kisses. My heart thumped in my chest as I ran my hands up his chest. He nibbles my lip a little sending shivers down my spine. That was the first time he did that and it was the sexiest thing to me.
Never in a million years did I expect to be making out with Andrew Tate. We've done it so many times since the first, but it never gets old. Every time we kiss it's like a whole new world has been opened up to me. He was so good at everything he did it should be a crime. Julie complained about me being a virgin yesterday, but if we keep this up Drew might be the one I lose it to. Especially after he shocked me with his next phrase.
With fainted breath, we stopped to take a breather. Our foreheads touched while his hands cupped my face. My hands rested around his wrist taking in the closeness. I'm not sure if it was the moment or the atmosphere around us. Drew licked his lips and uttered the unthinkable to me. Words I didn't think I'd ever hear him say.
"God, I love you." He utters before catching himself.
My eyes shot open in disbelief. "Wha-what?" I stutter out of shock.
He looked just as shocked as me, pulling away slowly. Neither of us expected him to say those words, but it made my face go numb. He couldn't possibly love me. He...he loved Juliana. Right? What was he even saying? Why was he saying it? I hope this wasn't some sick joke he was playing. It wasn't funny if it were.
Stunned by his own words, Drew looked away clearing his throat. "I...umm...fuck." He muttered.
He didn't expect that to come out either. I stifled a laugh as best I could to understand what just happened. After what he told me, I wasn't going to pressure him about something else. We had more pressing matters to worry about and we already stalled enough. Besides, hearing him say that warmed me up a lot.
I lay one on his cheek before dropping the subject altogether. "We have something we need to attend to." I smile.
He smiles back, grabbing my hand. "Let's do it...together."