***Chapter Fifty-One***
I met Keegan outside at his car before we took off for our time together. We didn't do anything crazy like last time. Opting to go to the park for some much needed relaxation. Thinking about how I'm going to respond to Drew was taking a huge toll on me. It's not something my mind should have been occupied with while with Keegan. However, the guys sentiments were getting to me.
They were right in that Drew and I had a real connection. We connected to each other like nobody's business. Our chemistry was simply out of this world. Yet our chemistry meant nothing if we couldn't be together. What has all this connecting been for if it was going to amount to nothing in the end?
To top it off, Keegan was completely left in the dark as far as Drew goes. He thinks Drew was being a jerk because he only cared for me. When it was really because Drew was jealous. Not to mention my feelings for Drew stood in the way as well. It stopped me from pushing further with Keegan. We had something special too but not as special as with Drew. God, I'm such a horrible person.
Pushing me lightly on the swing, we talked as the sun started to set around us. It wasn't how I expected to spend our time together, but Keegan loved it so I did too. It was nice getting to talk to him without worrying about what was going on back at campus. Though after this, Drew would be expecting an answer. Something I didn't want to give to him.
That aside, Keegan suddenly stop pushing realizing something felt off. "Anna, are you doing alright? You've been a lot more quiet than you usually are." He noticed.
I give him my best fake smile because I couldn't tell him what was happening. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a rough morning." That wasn't much of a lie.
However, Keegan knew better than that. "Ok, but there is a reason why." He walked in front of me. "So what's up?"
This is what I wanted to avoid. Normally, I'd have no problem telling him what's bothering me. Only now, this would reveal things we didn't need him knowing. It's one thing telling Cam and Dillon what was happening. It's another to tell Keegan. Not only were we involved with each other, but there's a possibility he would tell Julie. The last person we needed to know anything.
That's not the only reason though. The main reason being that I didn't want to hurt Keegan. It's obvious he really liked me and hurting him would kill me inside. What would that mean for our friendship as well? His friendship with the others. They just started their band. I didn't want to me the reason there is a riff. It was so much to think about with not a lot of time.
Sighing, I figured lies would be better than telling the truth. I didn't know what was going to happen with Drew later. Although I do want to end this agreement; once we see each other my mind would change. It was something about him that I couldn't let go. No matter how much my mind was telling so, my heart said no.
"It was just a lot seeing my dad for the first time in months." I say. "The breakfast didn't exactly go as planned."
He sat beside on the other swing. "Oh yeah, that did happen." He reminded himself. "That's why your step-sister was at the talent show."
I nod. "And get this, she didn't know about the affair at all." That part still kills me. It's amazing how her mother didn't tell her.
His mouth fell open in shock. "You're kidding?" He asked. "I can see why you're so tense. For a minute there I thought it had to do with something else."
My eyes look at him confused on what he meant. Could he possibly know what was happening with Drew and I? There's no way he did. I never mentioned any of the details of our relationship to each other. Unless he found out from someone else. But who would do something like that?
Whatever the case, it's obvious Keegan was thinking something. Something that would break me if it were true. It's not out of the realm of possibility but I was not informed of anything like this. Did everyone else know as well?
I was perplexed. "What's something else?" I wondered. He was very vague.
He licks his lips almost worried to tell me. "Well, I talked to Julie and—"
"Wait, you talked to Julie?" The more he spoke the more questions I had.
"Yes, and she told me during your winter break, Drew would be proposing marriage to her." He said. "I thought everyone knew that."
Were my ears deceiving me. Did he just say Drew was going to propose to Julie? It felt like my whole world shattered beneath my feet. Julie hadn't mentioned anything about them becoming engaged. Drew hasn't said that either and we've spent ample amount of time together. Of all people to say that too, why would she tell Keegan? None of this was making sense but I didn't care. All I cared about was my heart feeling like it broke in two.
The news was disturbing to hear and quite frankly, I didn't know how to respond. Part of me wanted to scream at the top of my lungs in frustration. While the other part of me wanted to cry. Cry because it felt like all this time spent getting to know him were for nothing. I opened myself up emotionally to someone who didn't even plan on taking things to the next level. How could I be so foolish?
At the same time, for all I know Keegan could be lying just to get a rise out of me. Maybe he thinks I do feel something for Drew so he's testing me to see my reaction. My blood was at a high boiling point, but I knew if I reacted negatively he would catch on. That's why I'm taking a more shocked approach than angry. The anger I'd save for Drew if it's true.
Eyes opening wide, I looked at Keegan pretending to be shocked. "What? That's news to me. Julie hadn't mentioned it." I try to keep my voice leveled.
Keegan got a good look at my face before speaking. "Hmm, I guess I shouldn't have said anything then." He continues on.
My teeth clamp on my lip to keep from spiraling. "No but I'm sure she'll say something. She's not one to keep secrets." I shrug.
He agreed looking to the ground. "As long as you're ok with it."
I was anything but ok with this surprise. If it were true, my mind was going to go bonkers. After everything we've been through together, Drew was going to do this to me? He had me thinking that he truly felt something for me getting my hopes up in the end. Being friends with benefits was all a ploy just to get what he wanted. I could take him not being with me, but using me is where I draw the line.
After hearing this from Keegan I wanted nothing more than to go back to campus to find Drew. This outing was supposed to be fun. We weren't supposed to be worrying about anything but us. Clearly, no matter what I do there was no escaping the complications Drew and I put ourselves in. As much as the agreement benefited me, it was time to call it quits. Especially if he planned to propose to Julie.
While Keegan focused his attention on the gravel, I pulled out my phone to play a text tone. My acting chops have been put to good use today as I pretended Dillon needed me back on campus for an emergency. I couldn't end our time together by telling him the truth. So a lie it would have to be.
"Shoot, do you think you could rush me back to campus?" I ask him. "It's a Dillon emergency and she rarely ever sends for those so it's serious." I say as I'm fake texting her.
Well, I did actually text her but not for the reason I said.
Keegan stood up with a nod of his head. "Yeah, no problem." He says as we head back to his car.
The ride was silent driving back to campus. Neither of us knew what to say or what to think regarding the matter. The more I spoke the more I'll give myself away. Though it was weird how quiet Keegan had become. He seemed very adamant about this being true yet silence encapsulated him with a look of despair written on his face. There wasn't much time for to decipher what he could be thinking. My mind was preoccupied worrying about this conversation with Drew.
If he thought I was upset earlier, boy was he in for a rude awakening.