Haig
Today is a sunny day. Occasionally, I go to the farm or to the market to help my parents with their work. I am ostensibly not a hardworking boy; I am just doing the things that I can and I want to do. Why should I do the thing that I can't? Especially if there is no good reason or benefit that I can get from doing it? We are just doing anything to survive–to exist.
The life of a sixteen-year-old boy like me is so monotonous. From Monday to Friday, I had been walking back and forth from home and school. Sometimes, frowning and shrugging while sitting on the bench, looking at the blue sky and hoping that I can ride my silver plane and go anywhere around the planet.
Change is inevitable. Most of the things in this world may change. My dreams, my appearance and identity, my learning, preferences, my beliefs, and many other things have changed. If in the past, I just let anyone bully me, now I will fight against them no matter how much it takes. Previously, I did not believe in magic, but now I believe without doubt. My teacher is right; you will only believe in something if you have experienced it.
Taking the concrete road and going towards the farm where my father is working. I knew that my father needed someone to help plant the crops on the farm. That's why I decided to go there. Looking at the green leaves of plants that are creeping up the tall, hard wall beside the street, I seemed to count every step that I took, because it is the only sound that I can hear right now. People are in deep slumber inside their houses at this time, because everything around them seems to be singing lullabies.
As I walked on, I saw two women ahead that seemed to be fighting. I go nearer to them and observe–to know why they are fighting in the center of the concrete road. They are both wearing fancy dresses. Maybe they came from a party. I went near to them, but they had not noticed me.
"I have trusted you my whole life, because you are my best friend, but what did you do? He was already my husband, but you stole him from me! How can you do this to me?"
"I am sorry sis, but it was not my fault if that man fell in love with me, it is your fault that you did not watch your husband, and maybe he's searching for a woman that's more beautiful, sexy and excels at bed."
"How dare you brag about yourself in front of me, and you appear brave, even though you are the one who hurt me."
"I am just telling the truth, you are already width that's why he searched for a woman like me—who is still young and outbidding."
"What a scamp! I know you are the one pursuing my husband, and he won't go with you unless you flirt with him!"
While watching the two women, there is a strong force that pushes me towards them. I could not fight against the force because it was too strong. Abruptly, I am now between the two women, and they are both confusedly looking at me.
They are about to say a word when, suddenly, I punch them in the faces with my two hands. I don't know why, but it was not me who punched them. It was my hands that seemed to have their own brains. I cannot control my hands anymore. It won't stop me from punching the two pitiable women. They tried to fight me, but because I was too strong, they could do nothing. Even though they were two people trying to stop me.
The two women had many bruises on their faces. In a few moments, they are both out of consciousness. They are lying on the concrete road with bended legs, just like in the movies that I watched at our neighbor's house or on television. I don't know if they are still alive, but my hands had stopped punching and I felt like I could control my hands again.
Dazed, confused, worried and full of regret about what I did. I held my head firmly and my tears began to fall when I realized that they were already dead. It was all my fault! Why are these things happening to me? Please forgive me....
"I did not mean it! I did not mean it!" I screamed while running towards the place where my father was working.
"I don't want to be imprisoned," were the words that crossed my brain. If they knew I was the one who murdered those women, I am sure they'd throw me in jail.
I still have many dreams in life, and I don't want to waste many years in jail. I hope that no one saw the heinous crime that I committed, else I don't know what will happen to me. I wiped my tears with my clothes and continued walking towards my father. Pretending that I did not do anything wrong, but in my brain the sin that I committed will not disappear.
My father is planting crops now. He is wearing a pointed hat, old porous clothes, and boots that he has worn every time he went to the farm for many years. I can see the sweat that has diffused on his face and arms. It's not too weedy here. I know that my father has been removing the weeds that are growing here, so that the growth of the crops won't be affected.
I noticed that I was full of sweat, that it seemed that I had just taken a bath, and that I could see the shape of my own body because I wore a bluish-white shirt. It was because of running fast just a while ago. I thought that there was someone chasing me and wanting to kill me, like what I did to those women.
"Oh Haig, what are you doing here?" my father asked.
"I just came to help you plant the crops," I replied.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Well, that's good, so that we can finish our work fast and go home early."
Sometimes my father does not want me to reply to his questions. I don't know why, but he is always adding his words after asking. He doesn't want me to interject him. He always knows what I want to reply to or say. I need to be careful of my father, else he will know the crime I committed. He was so strict, and I knew he'd be the one to throw me in jail if he found out I'd killed someone.
"Did not you dry yourself after taking a bath?" my father asked, dubiously. If you do not know that the sunlight is warm, you may go back home now," he concluded.
"No, father, I simply forgot to dry myself before leaving the house," I completely lied.
I know that my father has doubts about me, because we both know that our farm is far from our house and it is impossible that the water would still be on my body if I just walked from home to go here.
My father's investigator version had shown up again, "Did you do something wrong that you were full of sweat and seemed to have been running from our house towards here?" He asked, dubiously.
"Death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, death, de. ..." was the word that was playing in my brain all night.
I am just lying down on my wooden bed with my hands on the back part of my neck. I had not been sleeping well because of thinking about the sin that I did. I remembered the way my hands punched the two women. Those happenings were so fast, and as always, the regret is in the hurt part after it. It was all my fault that I was so weak and there was nothing that I could do to stop my hands from doing that crime. Maybe this thing is part of the power that the weird old man means. This power is not called power anymore; this is a curse!
What did I do wrong that the old man gave me this kind of power? It was just stupendous at first, but I could not squeamishly see that I was hurting innocent people who were doing nothing wrong to me. I hate this kind of power. Please remove it from me....
The bluish cloud suddenly appeared in my front. I sprang from my bed and went towards the bluish cloud. It was the bluish cloud that entered my body. I don't know why it was here now. I touch the bluish cloud, but it is just the same as the air that cannot be touched, but I can see it because it has a different color from the other gases. I was startled when someone suddenly held my arm firmly. The hand seemed to be a hand of a dead person because it was so cold. Though I won't admit it, the hairs on my body are standing up because of surprise and terror.
I am a man now and I don't need the help of anyone or even my parents, because I know that not all occasions will there be someone who will take care of me. I fought against my fear and tried to pull the hand. I realized that it was the hand of the old man who gave me the bluish cloud. The old man went out from the bluish cloud itself.
He was wearing old, porous clothes. The same with the clothes that he was wearing the first time that I saw him. His face had become cleaner than before, and perhaps he had also grown stronger; unlike before, he was nodding rather than standing up, as he is now. His firm grip on my arm had left a mark too.
I removed his hand that was firmly holding my arm and the mark had slowly disappeared from it. The old man was at the perfect time. There are many things that are messing with my mind—I have many questions about the power that he gave me and also about the bad effects of this power. I know that killing those innocent women is also part of this thing, and I don't want to have this kind of curse anymore.
"Please remove this curse from me," I said in a low voice.
"Whahahaha!" he laughed like a demon. "It is not my problem anymore. I had already told you that there were some exchanges in giving you power. Everything that you experienced, experiencing, and everything that you will experience is part of it."
"How dare you say that?" I asked in a low voice. "You cheated me. You said that it was a power, but it is a curse!"
"Everything is your mistake, boy. You did not listen to my words before accepting the power," he said. "Whahahaha, you people are so thirsty and will do anything just to have power!"
"You were the one who offered me this, and I have no desire for power! Remove it from me and plug it into your lungs! You're a cheater, you cheated me, it's a curse!" I exclaimed.
I tried to punch the old man, but he was also like the cloud that could not be touched. I wonder if how he could touch me, though I cannot touch him. Maybe he is really a powerful one.
And maybe my parents heard me talking alone inside my small bedroom, which made them wake up and knock on the door. The old man and the bluish cloud suddenly disappeared from the spot where they appeared.
Thinking about an alibi that I can use to defend myself from the scourge of truth while going towards the door. I mollified and placated myself before I opened the door and I saw my mother. Maybe my father is still asleep and it favored me. I know that my mother is not an inquisitive woman because I know that she will listen and believe me like a fool in every word that I want to say. Unlike my father, who makes his own inferences and makes me more wrong in the sight of anything, anyone, or everything.
"Haig, what happened? is there something...?" my mother had not finished her words, because I interrupted her.
I lied, "I am just practicing my speech for the school contest."
I knew that my parents would not attend, even though there was a grand program at our school. They are always busy working to get or buy what we need every day. Even though they are not busy, they still won't attend any programs. Maybe they are afraid of being seen by someone. Maybe their fear of the crowd of people turned into a phobia.
"You woke up early, are you sure that there's nothing wrong?" my mother asked dubiously while looking at my both eyes.
I always avoid making eye-to-eye contact with anyone. So, I know that my mother won't doubt if I am telling the truth or not.
"Um, the truth is I had not slept well," I replied.
"It's still early. Do you want me to sing you a lullaby song so you can sleep?" she asked.
"Mama, I am not a baby anymore. I am already sixteen," I replied. "You better go back to sleep."
"You are already sixteen, so don't be ashamed of me. I am your mother. I can even sing a lullaby for you grandmother. It is not based on your age, okay?" she explained.
"Okay," I said while walking towards my wooden bed.
My mother entered my bedroom and she shut the door. She went towards me and sat down on the wooden bed beside me. I laid down on my bed with my head perched on her thigh. She started to sing a lullaby. Her voice is so beautiful and gentle that it made me fall asleep in just a few short minutes.
When I woke up, I noticed that my mother was not beside me. Well, I'm not a baby anymore and I will not be always with my mother. I know that she has many things to do, and I don't want to waste her time for my own sake. It's her that offered her time to me. It's very rare to have a mother like my mama, so I am thankful that I have a mother like her.
I cannot be happy as long as I don't have peace of mind, but I also don't want to be imprisoned for something I did not do. It is the old man who must be imprisoned, not me. He must be the one to be punished. Thinking about him, myself, is telling me that it was also my fault, because I am such a fool who thinks only about my own happiness. I am not thinking about the things that might happen because of my one wrong decision—the reason why I got this curse.
Going outside the house, looking at the tall grass that seemed to taunt me because of the sin that I committed. I saw my father feeding the birds that visit our lawn every morning. I can see the beehives that are hanging on the big branch of the tree. There were many times that I got stung by the bees, but I am lucky because I am still alive.