Sheena
I knew that killing a hundred people was not just a game. Lives cannot be bought because everyone has a responsibility to take care of each other's lives. What I can only do is to hope that the people who I can kill may forgive me. Though it seemed to be hopeless, because murder is not forgivable.
"Sheena, I know that you have a special ability like seeing things, such as things and people from far away places. You can use that ability to know who you want to kill," Alicia said.
"So, do you mean that it does not come from you?" I asked.
"Yeah, it does not come from me, but from yourself."
"Okay, but I don't know how to use this power, because sometimes I cannot control it. Can you help me with it?"
"That is just easy to control. You only need to focus if you want to see something. Just focus when ordering your eyes to see someone or something. I knew that you could control it without doubt."
Alicia was right because it will show me the things that I really want to see, and if I don't really want to see something, it would not show something to me. Just like if I want to see Mr. Steven Klee, because I really want to see him, the power will show him to me. If I really want to see someone or something, my focus will also appear. It was really useful because it can help me choose people who I wanted to kill.
There is just something that crossed my mind. If the power does not come from Alicia or from the curse, where did it come from? Is it a sign that I am not a normal human? But ability is different from power because humans can have special abilities. It is impossible for a normal human to possess powers like seeing things, even in faraway places. I have a feeling there are a lot of secrets in my personality. It also came to my mind to ask Alicia if she knew anything about it, because it seemed that she had been watching me for a long time.
"Alicia, can you tell me more about myself? Because there are many things that are messing with my mind."
"Just like what?"
"Like what do you really think I am?" I tried to speak normally.
"You don't know what you really are?"
"Uh-huh."
"Did your parents tell you something about where they came from and what they really are?" She asked.
It made me more confused about who my parents really are. What I only knew about them is that they are human. They are so secretive that they are not telling me anything about their families. I want to know many things about my parents, but they died without even answering one of my million questions.
"Maybe it is not the right time to tell you about your parents. You have many things to deal with and you must focus on them. You also need to get revenge on the gangsters that killed your parents. Howbeit, what you only need to do this time is to become strong and brave, before I can tell you who those people are."
"You had promised me that you would help me get rid of this curse, so tell me now what I should do."
"Use your power and choose someone who you want to kill. Just don't forget your intentions. I am not included if who you want to kill anymore, because it was your decision that was needed, not mine."
I really need to be clever if I want to kill the people that I want to kill. Firstly, I am going to kill those people that are weak, so that they cannot fight with me anymore. Secondly, those people that are doing wrong to others seem to be viruses in this world because they are destroying it. Third, I won't waste an opportunity if someone suggests I kill them, because it will be less guilt for me. Fourth, those people that are thinking that their lives do not have any direction anymore, that they are just flying with the cool air. Fifth, those people that want to commit suicide because they are brokenhearted. Sixth, those people that feel the difficulty of life and don't want to live anymore. Seventh, those elderly people who are unable to tolerate their pain. Eighth, those who have nothing to do with their lives.
Definitely, those gangsters who killed my parents are my priority to kill, but because Alicia won't tell me about them, maybe I will be the one to search for them. Those people who are on my list really need to prepare because I will just appear suddenly in their front and end their lives.
"Hey, are you done thinking of who to kill? You need to be fast in doing this because the curse will definitely attack you again at anytime if you don't show it that you are killing people. That is the reason why it won't control your body because it wants to see that you are doing what it wanted to do by yourself."
"I just want to ask you if I can go to the place where the person that I want to kill was." I know that it will be difficult for me if I need to travel. Though it was exciting, it is also time-consuming and can make me exhausted.
"Have you forgotten that I will help you get rid of that curse? I can transport anywhere and I can bring many people from one place to another. The pinkish cloud can also help you, because there are many personalities that the pinkish cloud has. Sometimes it is good, sometimes bad. If you can control it, the curse won't be difficult to defeat," Alicia explained.
"What do you mean?" I queried it.
"The pinkish cloud can form a whirling hole which can bring you from one place to another, as you have seen once, but what you have to avoid is that it will enter your body because it means that it is going to control you."
"But what if the pinkish cloud brings me to other places and not to the place that I want to go?" I asked.
"That is not a problem. If you want to go to the place that you want, just control the pinkish cloud, just like you can do with the power that you have. You need to focus on the place that you want to go to. If you are really determined about getting something that you want, everything around you will conspire to give you that thing. But it was just a suggestion. I know that you are thinking that it is difficult. We are just the same. When I was young, I also could not control my power. It took me a long time before I could master everything."
I and Alicia were going inside the mansion when I remembered that there were many people around the mansion that might be hindrances to doing the things that could help me get rid of the curse. Especially with Amara Spicy, because she was so inquisitive and it was unavoidable that she would be angry with me and leave the mansion if I did not tell her anything about the weird things that were happening to me these days.
I was confused when Alicia had stopped in front of the antiquated mirror and it seemed that she was scrutinizing it. Maybe there are many weird things about the mirror because even though eons will pass, it is still there. My parents had not told me anything about the antiquated mirror. Every time I asked them about it, it seemed that they did not want to talk about it because they were always changing the topic. I don't know if it is true that this mirror is older than my mother and older than my grandparents. I cannot say that they are not telling the truth to me, but I know how they tell true things and unreal ones. Well, it does not really matter to me if they sometimes believe that if they tell me everything about themselves, I have nothing to discover.
"Is there something wrong in that mirror?" I asked.
"Nothing," she replied.
"You know, my mother told me that this mirror is older than her and maybe older than her mother. She inherited it from my grandmother and maybe from my great grandparents, but I don't know if it is really true."
"Do you mean that you don't believe in what your parents told you?"
"Perhaps," I replied.
"Well, I cannot contradict you because you know more about your parents than I do," she said as if she were lying.
"Yeah, but I just have another question about the people that are working here. What if they notice that there are many weird things happening to me?" We went towards the upholstered couch and sat down there.
"Don't worry, it is impossible that they can notice that there is something weird happening to you, especially since you are their boss, and they won't dare ask you anything. If they do, just don't tell them anything, especially about me."
"Of course I won't, because I know that they will just think that I am crazy if I tell them about you," I said.
"Do not worry about the people around this mansion; just leave them to me and focus on your power. Focus on killing a hundred people so that you can quickly get rid of the curse."
It cannot be removed from me to worry about anything that might happen. I know they can be a hindrance to the freedom that I solely want, because even though there are just a few left here, they still put me sometimes in their cages. But now everything is better than before. My atmosphere has become more spacious than before. I can now move without someone who is following me wherever I go. Alicia is the only one who is watching me now, wherever I go. She was always there watching for me. But I don't need to worry too much because she seems to want to do me right. If someone is watching you all the time, it's not a thing to worry about, because they are just showing that they care for you, and that's the reason they don't want to remove their eyes from you.
"So, where do you want to start your mission?"
"I don't know where to start." Now I realize that there is a difficulty to facing every start of the thing that you aim for. But sacrifice and hardship can make the thing that you aim to become more tasty. Though it seems that from whatever angle you look at, there is not even a little bit of freedom in the freedom that I solely want.
"Why won't you use the power of your vision?" Alicia asked.
"You are right, but I don't know what I want to see."
"Don't tell me that you don't want to kill people?"
"Of course—I mean, I want. It is just difficult for me to know where to start. Why won't you suggest me a place where there are many evil people?"
"You don't need to choose the people that you want to kill—just think that everyone has their time to die. Just kill everyone that you can see. If they cannot die, then they are lucky, but if they die, then it means that you are lucky. There is no unlucky in that moment, just don't show your weakness and you are already lucky. Now, you are unlucky because you need to do it faster because the curse will definitely attack you anytime."
"You are a bit wicked. But you have a point, that everyone has their own time to die. What I only want is not to be very guilty of what I am going to do. That's why I am choosing who to kill."
Alicia suddenly held my arm. She said, "Let me take you to a place where there are many people that you can kill."
"Wait! I am not ready yet." I tried to remove her hand from my arm, but it was too late. After a second, we are already here, in the place that I don't know. This place seemed far from my mansion because the weather here is very different from there. It was warm here, while there is still cold.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, curiously.
"You are so clever to say that you don't know if what we are doing here. You told me to suggest a place where there are many people, so we are here. Did you see those groups of boys ahead? There are all six boys there. If you kill them, the people that you need to kill will be ninety-nine left. So what are you waiting for? Attack them now."
What kind of woman is Alicia? I don't want to count the people that I am going to kill, but she still did it for me. There is one more thing. Does Alicia not know how to count? Why did she say that if I could kill those six boys, there would be ninety-nine people left that I needed to kill and not ninety-six? Maybe she just did not know the exact words to say. Well, it does not matter anymore, because I hate to count the people that I want to kill. Counting people will just make me more guilty, so I am avoiding counting the people whose lives have gone because of me.
"But I don't know how to fight them. Did you see that they are so big and strong? They will just kick me, and I don't know what will happen if they do that."
"Don't worry, just believe in yourself. In case of an emergency, I am just here beside you. I will help you if there is something bad that might happen."
"Okay, but don't leave me here," I replied.
We walked towards the boys who were sitting on the blue benches that were covered with the shade of tall trees on the roadside. There are no more houses or people here. There are just benches, trees, tall, green grass, and a long concrete road, but there is no transportation that takes it.
The smoke that came from the cigarettes of the boys was floating in the warm air. Maybe they are hangouts who want to do nothing in their lives but sit there in the place where they frequently visit. Four of them are wearing plain shirts, trousers, pants, slippers and hats, and two of them are not wearing a shirt. They seemed addicted to their vices. Though they look like they don't care what the effect of their vices might have on their health, I cannot say that they deserve to die, though their vices are the ones that might kill them, and though I don't want to kill people, I have no choice anymore, because I know that my freedom lies in their death.