Sheena
I don't know the real reason why the boy named Nick went here yesterday. He came here just to say hello and left before nightfall without saying goodbye. He talked a lot about his family. He told me that his parents wanted to negotiate with me. But I did not believe him. They might just cheat me and purloin the land that I inherited from my ancestors. I only need time to decide about that thing. Maybe I need to meet his parents to know if he was telling the truth.
Many things are messing with my brain. I had just woken up and I can still remember the dream that I had. It has been many days since the last time I had a dream, but again just last night I had a dream. My dream was about the place where there is nothing but emptiness. I don't even know what kind of place that was. I don't even know why I am dreaming about that place. Maybe it was an indication, but an indication of what? Does that indicate emptiness? Maybe it indicates that I will be empty, that nobody will be left behind.
"Nick nock nick nock," the steady, recurrent ticking sound of the clock. I remembered the boy who introduced himself to me as Nick. Do I really know him? Or he was just making a monkey of me?
Though everything was hard to believe, I could not remove the doubt because Nick had a point in every word that he said, and he was also serious while saying them. He might have been my playmate when I was young because he looked wealthy, and he also told me that his parents owned vast land. Not blurred, our ages were the same and he knew many things about me and my parents.
I shook my head. I don't know why I am thinking about the boy who had no connection to me. He's not even my acquaintance. I remembered the words that he said. He was always dreaming of my appearance and beautiful face. It is impossible for him to sketch my appearance in his mind, though he said that the last time he saw me was when we were six years old. He seemed not serious at all. There is a big possibility that everything he said was not true.
Rolling myself on the bed, snuggling to find a comfortable position. It seemed that there was something spinning me and it made me crazier.
The clock suddenly chimed. Even its chime, the words that I could hear, was the name of that boy. I sprang from my bed, donned my pinkish sneakers, got outside my bedroom and shut the door. Taking the winding stairs to go down. What a kind of boy is he that even my footsteps tell his name?
Everything around me was screaming 'Nick,' but I could not smell any memories of him. I can see him in the paintings on the wall, on the glossy floor, on the antiquated mirror, and on the door.
The memories of my parents have been replaced by those of that boy, who is not even my acquaintance. But inside my heart, nobody can replace the love of my parents, and if that happens, I will make sure that the person who wants to replace them is worthy.
"Good morning, Sheena," Amara said, cheerfully. "It is too early, but you are frowning again. Is there something wrong?"
I shook my head and faked a smile without saying a word. I just went towards the upholstered sofa and sat down there. Amara went towards me and took a seat beside me.
"Do you know that boy named Nick South?" I asked. I am pretending to be curious so that I can avoid the obvious reason why I asked.
"Nick?" she asked. It seemed that she knew nothing about him. "Sorry, but I never heard that name before, only from you." She shrugged slightly. "Why did you ask me?"
"You know, he just suddenly appeared here yesterday."
"Appeared here, yesterday? But why did I not see him?"
"You did not see him because we were just inside the library."
"I hope to see him to find out what makes you curious."
"I am just confused because he told me that he was one of my playmates before."
"Sheena, I am not threatening you, but you must beware of those people whom you have just met, because you don't know what they want from you. You might be in danger, especially since you are the only one who can see that boy you mentioned. Maybe he's a ghost, haha."
"A ghost? It was impossible; he looked too handsome to be a ghost."
"Handsome?" She emphasized the word, then showed a taunting smile. "Maybe that's the reason why you are thinking too much about him because he's handsome."
"Can you stop leading me? You don't know the whole story–"
"Um, will you tell it to me—the whole story about the handsome boy?" She asked, then sneered.
I told Amara the whole story; how and where I saw the boy, what he told me, and what happened. I told Amara that Nick came from a wealthy family. that his parents and my parents were partners in business before. Amara became more confused, but she was fighting against the confusion and made a funny face.
He looked at me and asked, "Is there no other thing that happened?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, innocently. Though I know what she wants to say, "No, there is nothing other than that."
"Are you sure?" She made a taunting sound again. "There is nothing happening between you and that boy."
"Nothing, he only looked at my eyes with a flirty smile and told me that he was always dreaming of my beautiful face," I replied, innocently.
Sometimes I tell the truth to prove myself and to make everything favorable to me, and sometimes I lie for the same reason.
"Did he kiss you?" The words totally came out from her lips.
"Huh!? Of course not," I said. Dazed and looking for a way to get rid of the things that do not favor me, I am avoiding the words that make me uncomfortable. I know that Amara would be more confused if she saw that I was dazed.
She removed her attention from the thing and said, "Good, now you may forget about him, you better go to the dining room and eat your breakfast." She stood up and walked towards the door.
"Hey, where are you going? Don't you want to join me?"
"Nick is there; just join him," she half-shouted.
I forced myself to change my attention from the other thing, but what came to my brain is just a problem too. I know that my problem (about Nick South) will be gone soon. But I know that my other problem is difficult to fix. Especially that I can't understand what it really means. I don't know how to make it go away. Many nights I cannot sleep well because of it. The kind of dream that won't let me take a rest, because every time I close my eyes, it will begin to show.
Maybe I am lucky today because I did not have a bad dream, especially about the place of emptiness. I will just forget about that place. Maybe it is just normal that I am having a dream about it. Well, after those dreams, I know that everything will be fine.
Other people told me that what we were dreaming about was the opposite of the truth. Maybe the meaning of the emptiness will create an opposite result in my life. Or maybe the emptiness itself was not just empty, maybe there were many hidden things in it. The opposite of emptiness was there. Maybe it was full of something, something that I don't know, and that must be buried in oblivion.
I was going towards the window of my bedroom when something appeared in front of me. G*ddammit, this again? The pinkish cloud that did nothing to me but to cause pain? I was wrong. I am not lucky today. However, instead of the pinkish cloud that was going to absorb me, there was someone who went outside of it.
This is again, the very old and ugly woman. Her appearance had not changed, nor even the clothes that she was wearing. She was wearing a leather coat and long pants. She has long, curly hair that is spread around her back. But the most eerie part was her face. I could not look directly at it, so I just looked down at the floor to avoid it.
"How dare you show your face again after everything that you did to me? You are a wicked contemptible hag!" I shouted.
"Whahahaha!" she laughed. "You are not happy to see me?"
"How can I be happy to see an ugly and old woman who cheated me? You told me that you were going to give me power, but what kind of power is this?"
"If you will just scorn me, then I better leave," she said.
"Wait a minute, don't leave. I just have some questions for you."
"Whahahaha!" she laughed like a demon and turned back.
"Can you tell me why the pinkish cloud brought me somewhere last time?" I asked in a calm voice.
"If you really want to know, then kneel down on my front and beg me, else I won't tell you anything. Whahahaha!"
"You are heartless! If you are really thinking that you can drop me down so easily, then you will be disappointed!"
"Whahahaha, then you can know nothing from me!"
She turned to leave when I realized something. "Wait! Don't leave I will do what you want. Just tell me everything!"
I know that I can lose my dignity doing what I am going to do, but there are no more people inside my bedroom. I'd rather lose my dignity to this woman than lose my dignity to the people in the town if they knew that I was killing others. I slowly knell down on the floor and look at her face above. I could see her demonic face when she chuckled, but again, it was unexplainable and I couldn't look directly at it.
"Now, tell me about everything." I snuggled to find a comfortable position, then I totally sat down on the floor at her front.
"You may now raise it, but I am not comfortable talking with someone who is sitting down on the floor in front of me."
What kind of hag is this? If she will tell me anything, why does she need to make me kneel down? She was so crazy, she was not thinking about anything. She was not thinking that she had hurt someone. I stood up and faced her, but I could not directly look at her ugly face. She seemed to come from the world where demons live. The veins on her face seemed to be snakes that were slightly moving and wanted to bite me.
"Why won't you look at me? I am not comfortable talking with someone that isn't looking at me," she barked again.
"Just tell me what you want to say, but I won't look at your face, whatever happens," I said. "You are so ugly and I cannot stand it." I was so brave and certain of my every word.
"You are so stagy, but I like a brave girl like you," she said.
After a few seconds of silence, "You may now look at me."
What is she talking about? Was that all she wanted to say? Sorry, but I won't look at you as long as you don't mention the pinkish cloud; you are just making me a fool by making me follow your words even though they don't mean anything to me.
I have noticed that she is not laughing as much as she used to. Maybe she felt irritated because she seemed to have wasted her time talking with me.
"Hey, if you won't look at my ugly face, I will better leave now, what a fool you are, you are just wasting my time!"
She was a bit angry and annoyed. It is good to know that she knew and admitted that she was ugly and nobody could look at her face. Even her whole body and hairs seemed like snakes that were creeping and wanted to bite me in a sudden way.
She was about to leave when I stopped her again. "Hey, wait!"
As she turned back to me, I was so appalled to see her appearance. What a motherfucking jerk! She is so merciless that she cheated me many times.
"Do I look handsome now?" The boy asked in the voice of an old woman. "Do not worry, I am still the old woman, the hag." She said and showed a flirty smile at me. The thick, unruly thatch of black hair lay above his high forehead with one stray lock falling forward was still there and its position had not changed.
"You! You are so merciless, you cheated me again?!"
"It is not me who cheated you, but yourself. Whahahaha!"
Well, she had a point in her words. It was not her who cheated me, but myself, because she could not cheat me if I didn't let her cheat me. But she is so clever, though she is already old. She is so good at pretending to be someone. This woman was so powerful that she could change her appearance. Now I have become more ashamed of looking at this boy because of what I felt. I would rather talk about the appearance of the old woman than this flirty one. She can also copy anyone's voice. She was still using the voice of an old woman though her appearance was a boy.
Amara was right in her words. I must not trust anyone, especially those whom I have just met. I was so ashamed to know that the old woman and the handsome boy were one. Because of the embarrassing moment that happened, I held my head firmly and clenched my teeth.
"Oh Sheena, why won't you look at me and say something?" she tauntingly asked. "I am not ugly anymore. Look at my face. I am so handsome." She said then laughed like a demon or a demon herself, "Whahahaha!"
"I won't look at you as long as you are taunting me."
"You are such a shameful girl, I will leave now!" Maybe her face and eyes are very red and lashing like a stormy ocean or fire when saying those words. Because her words seemed to be angry and I also heard a crack when she kicked the leg of my poor table.
I looked at her and wanted to say "wait", but she had already disappeared. What a shame! She is the one who wastes my time and not me. She is so shameful! A cheater! Such a crazy old, ugly, evil, demon! I know that no words can explain how wicked she was.