Chapter 9: Inner Battles-2

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Back at the Calvetti residence, the melodic sounds of a violin emanated from Jade's bedroom.

I stood in front of her door for a moment, listening to the eloquent notes. She was such a gifted violinist, so imagine my surprise when she chose to study Accounting instead of pursing Music.

Lately, whenever she played, it usually meant that she was trying to work through some of her thoughts.

Quietly entering into the dimly lit room, I watched as she stood by the window, her eyes closed. She was so lost in her music that she did not notice when I entered. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes, her fingers faltering as she abruptly stopped playing.

"I didn't mean to startle you," I said as I closed the door behind me. Putting down the purple instrument, Jade replied, "Then perhaps you should have knocked."

A soft breathy laugh escaped me as I spoke, "Good to see that your sour mood has not altered that rude mouth of yours..." Frowning, she continued to look at me as she crossed her arms. Her lips were pressed into a straight line as she stood there in silence, her hauntingly mesmerising eyes staring right at me.

If looks could kill, I would have died a thousand deaths already. "Come on, Jade, today's your birthday. It's already 8pm, you should be getting ready to go to have dinner with us. Why have you been locked up in your room all day?" I asked, my voice soft.

"You know why, Dominic. Besides, you're late anyway," she said with a huff.

She only ever used my full name whenever she was upset with me, which was rare. I did not mind her anger though. In fact, I welcomed it, for an angry Jade was better than a sad Jade, and I would take dealing with her fury over her unhappiness any day.

"I'm sorry, the meeting ran longer than expected," I stated.

Leaning my head back, my eyes looked up at the ceiling while I remained quiet for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something. When she did not, I shifted my gaze back to her and slowly closed the distance between us.

Time stood still as we stared at each other. Jade's breath hitched as I took off my right glove and reached out to gently touch her cheek. Leaning herself into my touch, she softly spoke, "I don't know why you insist on keeping this distance between us. You want everyone to think that you're this cold glacier, your actions and eyes mirroring such. But when you're with me, I know that there's something more hidden in that bright cerulean gaze of yours. After all, we both know that the hottest flames burn blue." "Jade..." my voice warned her as I removed my hand.

"What is it, Dom? Just tell me what's wrong with me!" she pleaded, her eyes suddenly glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing the emotions flitter across her face tore at something deep inside of me, and I wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms and chase her fears away. It did not really matter what I wanted, though. I had to do what was best for Jade, and I needed to keep my resolve and not move from my stance.

However, I had to let her know that she was not at fault.

A soft rumble left my throat as my jaw clenched, "Nothing is wrong with you, you're fucking perfect! I'm the one who's messed up! I know what I am, and I'm not capable of giving you what you want!"

"But why not? Is it my age? Is it that you think I can't handle being at your side?" Jade asked, desperately seeking answers.

I looked away for a moment before my eyes returned to hers, "I just want to keep you safe. This life isn't what I want for you. Maybe if I were a different person."

Reaching out to hold my un-gloved hand, she said, her voice full of conviction, "What about in a few years? I'll train harder with Jee-min, become stronger, and show you that I can live this life and that I won't weigh you down!" My eyes dropped to our entwined fingers; her touch was soothing. She was the only one whom I ever let touch me in this way. I could not say why, and I never bothered to question myself about it.

With a sigh, I raised my gaze to look at Jade's lips before looking into her green eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered.

"But you already are, Dom! By saying this shit, you're hurting me. I know that we could be good together! You feel it too, right? This sudden weird connection between us... Why not give this a chance to see how things go?" Jade implored.

To be honest, I had no idea what I was feeling, but I was not about to delve into my jumbled emotions to find out. I was never good with that sort of thing, and I just did not want to face whatever it was that I felt bubbling under the surface of my chest, at least not right now.

Shaking my head, I pulled my hand away from her, "We can't, you know that I don't do relationships."

"That's never stopped you from fucking other women though," she unexpectedly snapped, the tone in her voice changing as her anger resurfaced.

I swear, her mood swings were worse than mine!

Growling low in my throat, I suddenly backed her up against the wall, "First of all, fucking someone and being in a relationship with them are two entirely different things! Secondly, I can fuck whomever I choose, you have no right to be jealous! I do not belong to you."

I knew that my words were harsh, but I needed to maintain the boundaries between us.

With a scoff, she tried to put on a brave face as she attempted to move away from me, "I'm not jealous, I was merely stating an obvious fact! I just asked for a simple kiss, it's not like I'm asking you for anything else."

Putting my hands on her shoulders, I pushed her back against the wall. My left palm moved to rest on the wall beside her head, while with my other hand, I raised my index finger in front of her face.

"Listen to me carefully, I'm not in the mood for your childish games tonight! Birthday or not, don't fucking play with me Jade!" I warned her before continuing, "We both know that if I kiss you, your curiousity won't let you stop there. I told you, I will do anything for you. But I can't cross that line! I won't kiss you, much less anything more."

Her eyes stared up at me, our gazes locking, both filled with anger and frustration. Neither of us said a word as we continued to look at each other in heated silence.

With a snarl, I suddenly moved away from her, "Look, if you want to spend the rest of your birthday locked away in darkness, fine! I'm getting too old for this shit!" I hissed as I stalked off, slamming the door behind me.

Jade screamed as she picked up what I assumed was the nearby vase and threw it at the door. The loud sound of porcelain breaking mingled with her loud sobs as I imagined her dropping to her knees on the hardwood floor.

The way she shrieked made my pores raise as a muscle in my lower jaw ticked.

I clenched my hands at my sides as I stood in the hallway and listened to her breakdown. The urge to go back and comfort her was stronger than ever, but I had to stand my ground.

Turning to Jee-min, I said, "Send in some of the men to clean up." "On it!" the Korean bodyguard replied.

I slowly began to walk away but stopped after a few steps, "Jee-min?" In no time, he was at my side, "Yes boss?"

"Make sure she doesn't try and do anything reckless," I murmured with a sigh.

Even though it had been over two years since the last incident, I did not want to take any chances. I knew that I hurt her, and I did not want her to do anything in the heat of the moment.

Jee-min nodded, a look of guilt flashing over his face, "I promise."

For the next few hours, I sat at my desk in my office, finishing up a discussion with Vincent.

"Those bikers can be a real nuisance when they're ready. They have a shootout with the Haitians and don't even bother to take their injured with them," Vincent sighed, running a hand over his face.

With idle fingers, I slowly played with my switchblade as I replied nonchalantly, "Just get rid of the bodies and dump them on their property."

"Sounds like a mafia solution to me," the dark-haired man replied.

Chuckling softly, I said, "I don't need the Commissioner whining in my ear about us leaving the streets messy. The Road Crows live near the borders, so just have the guys cut up the bodies, that should teach Tanner a lesson.

Take Quintin with you, it's about time he learnt how to properly dismember a corpse."

"On it," Vincent stood and exited the room. As I leaned back into my leather chair thinking, I could not get Jade out of my mind.

Growling to myself, I quickly downed the rest of my bourbon and paced in front of the large window. Jee-min had assured me that all the broken shards of porcelain had been taken care of and that Jade had calmed down, almost acting as though nothing had happened.

She stated that she was fine and just wanted to be left alone. Jade had even refused to see Quintin, which was something that rarely ever happened.

I was at war with myself. Looking at the clock on the wall, I noticed that it was 11:30pm. Jade's birthday was coming to an end, and what should have been an amazing day for her seemed to have become one of the worst.

A part of me felt responsible, as I stared at my reflection in the window, "Look at you, bigshot mafia boss, yet your biggest worry at the moment is a hormonal, irrational nineteen-year-old girl."

Muttering under my breath, I continued to argue with myself for a few more minutes before I gave in and left my office. There were several armed guards making their nightly rotations around the hallways and they nodded at me as I walked past them.

With smooth unhurried steps, I headed towards the library, knowing that Jade was in there.

I found her sitting in her favourite window seat, a copy of A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess in her hand. The purple cover was worn, proof that she had read it numerous times.

Jade would often joke that she was Alex, and that I was one of her cronies. She would then recite one of her favourite quotes to me, 'Well, well, well!

Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!'

A small smile came to my face as I remembered how she would animatedly narrate the words, jumping around the library, and putting on an exaggerated fake British accent as she pretended to be in a gang.

Looking back on it now, it was obvious to me how special Jade was.

Sensing that she was not alone anymore, Jade suddenly looked up. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot.

I hated the pain that I saw in her gaze. Though they were still green, they were no longer the bright and sparkling jadeite crystals that I had gotten used to seeing. Resting the book down, she got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I took a step forward.

"Isn't it obvious? Away from you," Jade replied as she took a step back.

It was clear that her angst did not hinder her from making witty rebuttals. I had to stop myself from smiling at her response as I took another step forward while she took another step away from me, wanting to maintain some level of distance between us.

Our movements continued until she found herself cornered once again, her back pressed up against a wall near the window. Resting my palms on either side of her head, I looked down at her, my eyes slowly taking in the features of her face.

We were standing so close to each other that I could almost feel her lips brushing against mine. It would be so easy to just lean forward and give her what she wanted.

Taking a deep breath, I briefly closed my eyes and composed myself.