Chapter 85: Taking Time To Heal

▪ J A D E▪

It would be another couple of days before I would be allowed to leave the

hospital again.

The condominium was heavily guarded and it was there I returned to

continue my rehabilitation. The nurses rotated in twelve hour shifts so that I

always had round-the-clock medical care.

Not to mention Quintin and Jee-min had moved into the condo as they

provided extra security.

During the first two weeks, I had quickly re-established a routine and now,

after spending five months at the condo, I had regained almost all of my

strength.

After the first nine weeks, I had slowly started back training with Jee-min.

Nothing too serious, but the extra physical activity had definitely helped

speed along my recovery and gave my confidence a little boost.

As I got stronger, coupled with the continuous exposure to familiar faces,

Blaire's absence really began to sink in.

Upon visiting her grave for the first time, I felt as though I were dreaming.

Even though in my mind I knew that she was gone, seeing her name carved

elegantly into the marble headstone forced me to my knees. I did not think

that I had ever cried so hard in my entire life, my arms gripped the cold

marble while my tears stained the gravestone.

Dominic had knelt beside me in silence, a comforting hand against my back

as he let me cry my eyes out.

I had to admit, as my body healed and I slowly began to reintegrate into the

life I had left behind, it was sometimes hard for me to focus on simple

everyday tasks.

Blaire's absence from my life left a larger void than I cared to openly admit.

I did not even want to celebrate my twenty-second birthday and it was the

first time in years that I did not have a party. It was just too soon and I was

thankful that everyone around me was understanding enough about it.

No longer would my phone light up continuously throughout the day and

night with Blaire's silly text messages. Even though I was taking my

medication, my mind would still attack me in rare moments.

Sometimes I would hear Blaire's voice calling out to me, other times I could

have sworn that I heard her giggles echo from down the hallway.

There were nights when my nightmares were so bad that I would wake up

screaming, unconsciously lashing out at anyone near me. Taking Dominic's

advice, I spoke to my therapist about it and was put on some new temporary

medication.

It would take time, but with the love and support of those around me, I

would heal and this would just be another mental scar to add to my

collection.

Taking each day at a time, I did my best not to let my guilt suffocate me.

I found myself touching her charm many times during the day and I knew

that Blaire would not want me to spiral into madness. Even though my

therapist told me that it was not possible, I was adamant that I could still

hear Blaire speaking to me sometimes.

I heard her joyful voice cheering me on, encouraging me to move on with

my life.

With a solid promise to myself and to her, I would take my time to heal.

Even though my mind would take longer to do so than my body, I promised

to embrace each new day as it came, while keeping Blaire's memory alive

within me.

————— ▲ —————

It was a Saturday night and I had a slight frown on my face as I sat between

Quintin and Jee-min, watching a movie.

I stared blankly at the screen, my mind running on Dominic.

Since returning from the hospital, he had spent most of his time with me in

the condo. At least when I could not convince him to leave and go see about

the organisation.

While I loved having him around, things had been a little tense between us

since my return from the hospital the second time. We argued about a lot of

things as I felt like he was suffocating me, his hawk-like eyes watching my

every movement, ensuring that I did not hurt myself.

One of our main arguments revolved around our sex life, or lack thereof.

I wanted to have sex, but Dominic kept refusing, wanting my body to fully

heal before we took things further. Truth be told, I was getting tired of him

treating me as though I would break at the slightest touch.

Our intimacy currently involved a lot of kissing and light petting and I was

growing restless, desperately wanting more. The way Dominic held back

felt like a torture, and deep down I thought he was punishing the both of us

for what had happened.

While Dominic was at a meeting with the other mafia heads, I had decided

to busy myself with watching a movie.

The sound of Quintin's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"I'm so sick of the lack of realism in modern day television!" he griped.

"So true! I swear, they make being in a coma look like a breeze on TV," I

rolled my eyes in exasperation.

Quintin chuckled softly and held me closely, "You were always so

independent, I can't even imagine how helpless you've been feeling."

"It's a bitch having to learn to walk again and don't even get me started on

having to learn to wipe my own ass," I grumbled some more.

"Well, I did offer to help but you said no," he replied, teasing me, causing

Jee-min to snigger.

Scrunching up my nose I retorted, "No thanks! I don't want any of you

seeing me in such a vulnerable position, I rather have the nurses do it. I

can't tell you, since leaving the hospital again, how agonising these last few

months have been. Especially with Jee overworking my ass!" I then shot the

Korean a glare.

Jee-min shook his head, a slight smirk on his lips, "But you're getting

stronger, no? You do want to be able to show Dominic that you're good

enough to protect yourself."

"Yea yea..." I groused, "You'd think that with my renewed strength he'd at

least let me have some sex. I mean you've been literally kicking my ass all

over the gym! If I can endure your training, Jee, why can't my pussy get a

pounding?"

Holding his hands up as he shrugged, Jee-min replied, "You're asking the

wrong person."

"So, how have you been, besides horny? How is Cristiano doing? I know

you mentioned that he took quite a beating for you as punishment for

helping you escape..." Quintin probed curiously.

When I had been given back my phone a few weeks after waking up from

the coma, I had received numerous messages from Cristiano from his new

number. He had also sent emails, wanting to know if I was alright.

At first, he had not known if I was alive or not, especially since Dominic

had kept my status unknown. So as a result, Cristiano repeatedly sent

messages hoping that I had survived and would answer whenever I got the

chance.

The gesture had been sweet. He literally sent me a message every single

day! When I had read through every single one, I could not help but cry.

Since I was unable to type in the initial stages of my recovery, I had Quintin

reply to Cristiano, letting him know that I was fine. I promised to properly

message him once I was able to type on a phone again.

Realising that I had yet to answer Quintin's question, I visibly shook my

head and said, "Cristiano is good, his wounds are healing. He told me that

I'll have to call him Scarface from now on, but I told him he was working in

the wrong organisation."

Quintin laughed, "Well, at least he is in good spirits."

"Definitely!" I exclaimed then added, "Besides, from the pictures that he's

sent, I think the mutilation of his face would add to his appeal, but the most

important thing is that he's alive. Of course, he needs to sneak around José

to talk to me though."

"The boss alright with you communicating so frequently with him?" Jeemin asked with a huff, his tone indicating that he was very much still upset

about the incident involving Blaire.

Shaking my head, I replied, "Of course he isn't, but he knows the truth of

the situation. Besides, Cristiano is one of my best friends!"

The Korean grumbled incoherently under his breath before he stood up, "I

need some air..."

Biting my bottom lip, I watched as Jee-min left the room.

"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine in time. Everything is still a sore topic

for him, that's all," Quintin stated while trying to comfort me.

"I know, I just feel so bad! José is the enemy of all the mafias in Aelbank

City and here I am, best friends with his son! I feel like a traitor!" I

exclaimed while burying my face in his chest.

Holding me to him, he said, "Yes well, I can see why you would feel that

way, but Cristiano has clearly proven not to be his father's son. I think the

fact that Blaire's murder is a part of the situation will make it that much

harder for people to come to terms with the friendship the two of you have."

"You'd think as seasoned veterans in this type of life that they would

understand the importance of keeping alliances," I muttered against him.

Quintin laughed, "You've always had the ability to see past things and focus

on the long game, which is why Dominic isn't out for Cristiano's head."

"It's like I told Dom, just because I forgave Cristiano doesn't mean I'm

going to forget what happened. For me, forgiving just means I've decided to

move forward, choosing peace over pain. It's the only way we can heal..." I

confided while fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

"I know, and trust me, Jee-min knows. He's not mad at you, it's just the

mention of José and Cristiano reminds him of what he lost," Quintin said as

he ran his hand through my purple hair.

Letting out a small sigh, my voice soft as I spoke, "I used to tease him about

her, I mean I always thought he might have liked her, but I was never

completely sure. I can't even imagine how he must be feeling. Not to

mention James, oh God! I feel like he hates me, did you see the way he

looked at me when we all went out to dinner last week?"

Cringing slightly at the memory, Quintin's arms tightened around me, "I

won't lie to you and say that James doesn't blame you. As in his mind he

felt like you were the more responsible one between the two of you. He

trusted you to protect Blaire. However, at the same time, he knows what a

live wire she was. You just have to give him time to grieve, he'll come

around."

"He's so different now though, he was always the laid-back one in the

group, always laughing, always making jokes. Now he's more serious.

Granted, it seems like he's back to his womanising ways and he's definitely

drinking and smoking more," I reflected dejectedly.

Quintin concurred softly, "I have to agree. It's like Raeni said, Blaire's death

matured him in a way but also set him back. I also think that he blames

himself for not being as strict with her as he feels maybe if he had kept her

on a tighter leash, she would not have been so reckless."

Scoffing I replied, "You and I both know that would have just made her

rebel more."

"Indeed, but you know, when in grief the mind will go through all sorts of

things," he said while raising a knowing eyebrow at me.

Releasing my hem, I mumbled "I know I know..." Exhaling deeply, I went

on to say, "It's just, now his face is so impassive, I fear that he's giving

Aleksandr and Vincent competition to win the 'who has the best brooding

resting fuck off face' like it's ridiculous!"

Quintin chuckled at my comment.

"Speaking of Vincent, how are you two doing?" I enquired as my eyes

looked up at him.

Suddenly blushing, he cleared his throat, "Erm, really good. Much better

now that you're back. When you were gone, as you can imagine, Vincent

had to make sure that Dominic did not spiral and lose control. Those weeks

were a bit tense for everyone."

"I wonder if everyone will ever be able to forgive me?" I asked more to

myself.

Giving me a reassuring hug, Quintin said, "Come on J, you know they will!

This is part of the life, it involves death. Unfortunately, it just takes time to

get over things, some longer than others. For now, just continue to focus on

healing and getting better."

Nodding in response, my arms moved to hug him.

It would be another two months before I moved back into the Calvetti

residence.