Chapter 14: 14-Control

TW- Mention of suicide, but not in detail.

**Marcello**

Sleep takes over Isabella as I hold her body against mine. My mother always told me, "*The love of your life will be a reflection of you.*" I always assumed she was telling me to choose my women wisely because our spouse reflects the image we want others to see. I have now realized that she meant I will fall in love with a woman who is so much like me. Isabella was made for me; I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. She is intelligent, strong, and ambitious. I fear that she will want to leave when she finds out Ezra and I have blood on our hands. It will be impossible to hide our lifestyle from her when we take her to the castle. I will not keep her in the dark about things we have to take care of. Oftentimes, women get killed when they are not aware of the dangers and are viewed as a weakness.

Your woman is only as weak as you believe her to be. Isabella will not be my weakness because she will be attending every meeting, training, and learning. I will not make the mistake my father made.

My father believed women did not belong in the family business. My mother was never trained to fight, and he never told her about the threats that he thought were minor. In my eyes, there is no such thing as a minor threat. Every threat has the potential to kill, and I won't lose Isabella the way I lost my mother. She was the sweetest woman, gentle and always loving. Losing her was too much for my father to bear, so he made a choice that he could not undo.

At the young age of twenty-one, I took over as boss, and Ezra's father was my underboss until he knew Ezra was ready to fill his spot. Usually, the underboss will take over if something happens to the boss, but my father made sure I was ready at a very young age. Ezra's father respected his wishes, as he always did.

If my father were still alive, he would be lecturing me about having children. I'm thirty-three years old with no heir. I know my parents would be disappointed in Ezra and me for not starting a family yet. This is not a life I want my future children to live; if I decide to have children. I talked to Ezra about having him take over as boss, but we both know it would make us look weak if I step down, and the Russian Mafia would use that opportunity to strike. I will only ever dream of a normal life.

I kiss Isabella's temple and leave the room to call Ezra.

"Where are you? I expected you to be here an hour ago," Ezra must be dealing with an issue because I can hear the frustration in his tone.

"Isabella needs time to rest. I got a little carried away, so I don't think we will make it today." I have never made love before. I tried to go slow and easy, but the way she looked into my eyes made me go wild. No woman has ever made me lose control because no other woman was allowed to speak to me or look at me the way Isabella does.

"When do you ever get carried away? What does that even mean?" Now he is amused.

"Isabella asked me to make love to her, so I did. Well, I tried. She always looks into my eyes, and I do not know how to deal with it. I liked it at first, but I started feeling like she was going to take control of me. I solved the problem by pushing her face into the pillow and taking her from behind, but maybe I was too rough." Ezra's laughter was so loud that I had to move the phone away from my ear.

"You make love now, Marcello? Isabella has you by your nuts, but you worry she will take control! She was not challenging you; she was connecting with you. There is no need to smother our little sub with a pillow. Did she even have an orgasm?" I cannot believe he would ask me such a question!

"Of course she did! Now you are being ridiculous!" I hang up before his laughter annoys me and go back into Isabella's room. She is still sleeping soundlessly, so I get into the bed and hold her close to me. I breathe in her sweet scent and kiss her behind the ear. Ezra was right; Isabella has me by my nuts.

Isabella finally wakes up two hours later and turns over to face me.

"You stayed," She makes a pained expression when she stretches.

"Are you okay?" I look at her hip, slightly exposed under the blanket, and see a tiny purple spot. I move the blanket further down and see a bruise from where I was holding her. "I am so sorry, bellissima. I did not mean to leave a bruise."

"It's okay. The bruise is nothing, but my back is a little stiff," I feel terrible. I bruised her skin and hurt her back. I did not realize how rough I was being until after we finished.

"It is not okay, Isabella. Let me see the rest of you," She sits up, and I look at the matching bruise on her other hip. They are almost as big as my hands. Her back looks fine, but I can understand why it is hurting. "I'll be right back."

I go into her bathroom and run a warm bath with lavender herbal oil for her. When I go back into her room, she is resting on her stomach. I can't believe I lost control so much that I hurt her. I will never do that again.

"Let's get you into the bath to relax your muscles." I take off my boxers and gently pick her up. With her in my arms, I step into the bathtub and lower our bodies into the water.

"I'm really okay. You don't have to worry," Isabella's back is to me as she settles between my legs. I remove the hair tie from my hair and use it to put hers up so it can be out of my way.

"I hurt you, Isabella. I have never left bruises on a woman," It makes me sick to think about how I have marked her.

"Really? None of your subs had welts or bruises from punishments?" Her question catches me off guard.

"No. We do not work with submissives who are masochists. I have never left more than redness that goes away after a couple of hours." I feel her body stiffen.

"So, you wouldn't feel comfortable using a belt or whip on me?" I knew she liked lashes, but how hard does she like it?

"I can use those things, but I do not hit hard enough to leave lasting marks. That is abuse, and I can get in legal trouble for that, even if you are willing. Why would I want to hit you hard enough to bruise you, Isabella?" I can feel the air shift. Here comes another mood swing.

"Pleasure is different for everyone. I don't see why it would be a problem to whip me as hard as I would like," I cannot believe Isabella wants me to harm her. I cannot wrap my head around it because I am not a sadist.

"I have a friend at the club who is a sadist. I can talk to him to get a better understanding of what you like, and why it is enjoyable for you. Does that sound fair?" The last thing I want is for her to explode, so I am trying to be calm with her.

"You make it sound like it's a mental condition or something. It's completely normal." I must have said the right thing because she relaxes her body against mine and isn't yelling.

"I do not want to upset you, bellissima. It is new to me, and it is not something I considered before. I am trying to do this right," At some point, Isabella has to give me my nuts back because I cannot let her lose her temper with me every day.

"I'm sorry. I know you mean well, and I shouldn't get so angry. I honestly think I feel stiff because of how I slept though, not because of you. As I said, these bruises are nothing. In fact, I love how rough you were," Isabella slightly grinds her backside against my groin. These emotional roller coasters are a lot to handle, but I knew it would be like this.

"I think you should let your body rest. Let me wash you," I lather body wash into a loofah and gently scrub her body. When I reach between her legs, she lets out a small moan. She has to be sore from earlier.

"I would feel much better if you would let me ride you," This woman surprises me more by the second.

"You do not feel sore?" I ask, and she faces me with a wicked grin.

"Not at all." She straddles my lap, "Please, Capo?"

She reaches between us and strokes me. Isabella looks so sweet, and she is, but she is also reckless. "Okay, but my hands are staying off of you."

I will not be in control just this once. Isabella sinks down and takes me in all the way. She presses her body against mine while moving her hips in perfect rhythm, not caring about the water splashing outside the tub. The moment her lips meet mine, I realized two things. First, Isabella has ruined me for anyone else. Secondly, she will always have me by my nuts. What have I done?