Odds and tides
(Bella)
Seated in Calvin's office, I watch his body tense as I told him I invited Dean, my ex-husband over.
He worked his jaw and furrows his eyes on me. "It's all for the kids, right?" Calvin asks with a raised eyebrow as he studies me intently.
Noticing the worry etched on his face, I nod. "Of, course, he's coming only as their friend," I reassured him.
"Nothing more?" He asked again, more persistent and that made me shift slightly on my chair. I understand his concerns but there's something in his eyes, something more than a mere concern, something a little disturbing.
I give him a tight-lipped smile. "Nothing more," I repeat. "Jav and Jas are oddly too fond of him," I add, not sure I can fully say it's odd, maybe it's only natural as he's their biological father even though they don't know that yet.
Calvin holds my gaze for a moment before he exhaled softly. "It's fine," he says before his eyes shifts back to me. "Will you really be comfortable with him there? Perhaps I should drop by and—,"
I cut him off sharply, giving him a wry smile. "You don't have to, really. As for Dean, I'll be fine, it's just a visit, he doesn't bite," I let out an almost awkward chuckle.
He protested. "You can't be so sure, Bella. I mean, he's an ex who hurt you badly, what if he tries to —,"
"Hurt me?" I blurted out, holding his gaze with a slight amusement.
He nods. "Som— something like that,"
A slight chuckle escapes my lips. "He won't, and besides Anne's there, and I can protect myself, you don't have to worry about anything of such,"
Calvin looks at me a little longer, I could tell he's not completely convinced but he doesn't drag it any further, he just let out a deep breath and nod. "Alright, if you insist. But do not hesitate to call me if anything's up," he says, his eyes locked onto mine.
I nod. "Sure, I will," I give him a warm smile.
He relaxed his back on his chair and I could see relief wash through him. "So, Saturday I'll be picking you up?" He returns his gaze back to me.
I nod, a little hesitant. "Yeah–that's fine," I mutter, managing a smile.
And almost immediately, my phone beeps with a notification, or a text rather. I glance at it and it's a text from Derrick, reminding me of our appointment later this evening.
I quickly texted him back.
Bella: Of, course. I didn't forget.
Dropping my phone, I debated on asking Calvin a question, I've been wanting to ask him for a while now, I just didn't think it'd be nice to open old wounds.
I wanted to will my mind away from it but eventually curiosity got the better part of me.
I turn to Calvin, my eyes narrowing in on him. "Your ex?" I blurted, shifting Calvin's full attention to me in an instant. "She has never reached out since she left you?" I ask, beating myself up mentally for prying.
Calvin looks taken aback for a second but then he shakes his head and I can see the hurt in his eyes even though it disappeared as quickly as it came. "She has never contacted me in seven years, she chose her career over what we had, she made her choice, I just couldn't force it," he says, his voice strained.
I give him a look and blurted out. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I didn't mean to —,"
"It's fine, really. I'm over all of that now. I have you now, Javier, Jasmine and Derrick, that's all that matters," he gives me a faint smile.
There, the real reason why I couldn't bring myself to clear things up with Calvin, I didn't want to break his heart, to hurt him, not after all he's done for me.
I'm not sure if he's being entirely honest with himself about moving on from his ex, but I could tell he was greatly hurt about their breakup.
He's still holding on to the bracelet she got him on his birthday, that's something, right?
Or perhaps it isn't.
And also I could see his love for me in every inch of his body, the way he looks at me, his actions, it's so clear, so evident.
I just don't know but I'm certain being honest with him wouldn't hurt more than lying to him.
Maybe someday I'd muster the courage to address this.
"Are you nervous?" I ask Derrick as we stand in front of the jewelry shop, I could literally feel his nervousness, even from a far.
He drags in a sharp breath. "You can say that, I feel — overwhelmed, I've never done anything like this before,"
I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Before?" I repeat. "You say that as if people randomly engage their girlfriends everytime, of course there's always going to be a first time,"
He lets out a nervous laugh. "You're right,"
So here I am, about walking into a jewelry store to help my cousin brother pick out the best engagement ring for his long time girlfriend.
Believe me, it took a lot to convince me, mainly because I didn't think he was serious about the whole thing and now that we're here, I'm too ecstatic as if I were picking my own engagement ring.
I didn't only agree to help pick out a ring, I had also accepted to keep it a secret, promising on no account, or out of excitement should I spill.
An hour or more later, we're out of the jewelry store with the most gorgeous ring. Back there, I had a nostalgic feeling as my hands trails the edges of the ring.
The day, Dean asked me to marry him. It was—-
No, Bella. You shouldn't be thinking of things that'd hurt you, my mind instantly chided me.
I pause, blinking and opening my eyes, as if trying to block out the feeling that was starting to overwhelm me.
Pushing that feeling aside and deciding that I should only but be excited for Derrick and Ebony.
Derrick got a call as soon as we step out of the store, he excused himself and I walk to the parking lot alone, my phone in hand.
And then, behind me and acid voice speaks, stoping me right on my track. "Well, Well Well. We meet again, quite a coincidence, isn't it?"
I recognize that voice, I didn't even need to turn to know who that is, after all we used to be best of friends. The thought of that, all but makes my stomach churn.
Ashley.
Instinctively, I clicked on my phone recorder and paste a rehearsed smile on my face before turning to meet my precious ex-bestfriend.