His Words

**Daisy**

The room fills with silence now and I don’t know what to do or say.

“Okay, first thing puddin. Dean, Richard and the others that were in that room, we will deal with them tomorrow, how much do you want to be involved?” He looks at me waiting. I consider it, and I know the answer.

“I want to be involved with Dean and Richard so they know I didn’t break. I want to be involved, as for the other men, I want to be there but I don’t really think I want to do anything, I might change my mind though.” I want to be there with Dean and Richard, not just for me but for all the women they have ever used and abused. I can’t remove what they did to me, I can’t wipe myself clean of their abuse, but I sure as hell can make them regret it.

“Puddin, come here.” Calix looks at me, and I move and walk to him, my body wrapping around his. I know I am keeping myself distanced from him, but that day I was taken he was weird and it’s still in my mind now. If I keep my distance it won’t hurt when he decides to walk.

“I know you spoke to D, but tell me what you're thinking.”

“Did you shout at him?” I look at him waiting, and he smirks. “Don’t smirk, he told me yes but after I panicked overthinking everything. He doesn’t deserve you or Marc telling him off for it. It was my choice to push and ask and make him tell me.”

“D is fine, yes I was pissed off but I didn’t shout at him, I get it. Now stop avoiding my question, please. I know you will be mad at us, but you can’t hide.”

“I’m not mad at you or them, why would I be?”

“Because we’re to blame. Even if it wasn’t us that physically hurt you, we’re to blame because it was our enemies who took you.” So he feels guilty as well?

“Calix, we’re a family, you say and they say it. That means your enemies are mine.”

“So you don’t look at us and think we’re to blame? That I’m to blame?”

“No, why would I think you’re to blame?”

“The way I treated you. I pushed you away, I hurt you. I made you feel like you didn’t want to live, then when I finally let you in, I gave you a fucking hand in a box. Daisy, I threw you against the wall. All that would have had an impact on you.” I want to tell him to stop wallowing but I know it won’t help and he will keep going. I know I don’t blame them though, what happened, makes no difference.

“Calix, at no point did I think you or they were to blame. At no point did I want to shout at you or tell you it’s your fault.”

“You might though, when you finally accept everything and realise what you lost. In a few days, a week or a month, you may turn around and resent us. Realise that this life isn’t for you, this is twice now that our enemies have done this, and I can’t help but think you’re safer without us.” I stare at him, going to talk and his hand goes up.

“If you were with Dean this wouldn’t have happened, if you somehow got pregnant, with Dean there wouldn’t have been the risk of our enemies because you wouldn’t have been connected to us. What happens when you decide you do want a baby when you realise having a baby in this world is a death sentence.”

“Calix, you’re talking like you’re considering telling me to leave.” He is and it’s scary.

“I’m not.” He rubs his face. “I just want you to take time and consider everything. Really think if being with us is worth it. Can you live a life where you won’t have kids, and if you do, the risk is it happens again? Can you really live this life knowing our life may once again lead you to get taken and hurt, our children to be taken and used, hurt as a way to get revenge?”

“I already know the answer.” I do, and he isn’t doing this.

“You don’t, because nowhere inside of you have you accepted you were pregnant. So how can you have considered it? All I want is for you to consider things, you’re free from us, you can leave at any moment, and if I’m honest, after the last month, you and Rosalie, I don’t think you should stay.” I sit looking at him feeling hurt.

“I’m not letting you push me away and push me out.” I refuse to let him do this.

“If it takes doing it to make you open your fucking eyes and consider things I will. You’re living in a dream world. No woman in her right mind would stay knowing that if she ever had a child it would be seen as a weakness and hurt to help them win.” I step back and move away from him.

“You never let me in did you?” I look at him waiting, and he looks at me confused. “That morning you gave me the contract, it wasn’t to save me it was because you realised now you have had me, I’m nothing.” He sits looking at me considering what I said, and the fact he didn’t argue it or tell me I’m wrong says I am right.

Turning I walk out of the room, going to mine I lock the door and climb into bed, deciding just to hide away and consider how things will work now. I can’t say if Calix doesn’t want me here.