Chapter 106: Twenty-eight.

Calum held Colt tighter as she explained further how Elijah had betrayed her. The way he had tried to over ride her on her choices, the way he even went as far as physically attacking her, just from a misunderstood conversation. But finally, to start sleeping around when he was a fully mated man? It wasn't something Calum could fully understand, but oh, how he wished he could step back in time, and smash the wolf's face in when he met him in Ireland.

But instead, all he could do was listen as his mate spoke, telling him her story, and reliving the pain with the fresh tears that were now cascading down her face. He found he was absent mindedly playing with a piece of her hair, twirling it back and forth between his fingers, while he listened intently, his other arm wrapped tightly around her body, like if he only held her tight enough, let her know she is safe enough in his arms, then that pain would fade and disappear from her life.

"It wasn't entirely his fault." Colt stated next, irritating Calum somewhat, "I think that's what makes it so hard, he wasn't a deliberate asshole."

"The man didn't only sleep with an array of different women, leaving you hospitalised, but he also on one occasion nearly ripped out your throat himself, and you are telling me he isn't to blame?" Calum asked sarcastically, jealous at her defense of the wolf. "Yeah, that makes perfect sense." He scoffed rolling his eyes.

"He was sick, Calum." Colt stated, suppressing her urge to slap him for his response.

"You don't say," Calum retorted.

"No, he was. Elijah will be thirty three now, he had only recently turned thirty-two when we met. He was a wolf who remained unmated for too long, and was afflicted with solum rabidus. It's a condition that causes a chemical imbalance in the brain, the heightened production of testosterone hormones it causes poison the mind, they affect his moods and behaviours, his impulse control, it...."

"I know what it is, Colt, you can still stop defending the bastard. Besides, I had already put those pieces together. But, you are my mate, he not only hurt you, but he tried to kill you. There is no such case where a plea of insanity, will earn him my forgiveness," Calum explained. "His actions were unforgivable, Colt."

"I know that Calum. It's why I left him." Colt replied quietly, then continued hesitantly, "But, he also lost his daughter, Nora, while I was unreachable in Ireland."

This gave Calum pause. "He had a bairn?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

Colt sighed, suddenly seeing Nora's vibrant young face in her mind's eye. Her Daddy's blue eyes shining brightly under her bouncing blonde hair, while she played defiantly on the trampoline.

A fresh wave of pain hit Colt, as she realised she hadn't given herself a chance to grieve for the child. The child, that under different circumstances she could have been raising. Colt had went straight from finding out about her death, to hospitalised within a few hours. Then, she was unconscious for months. Once awake, it took her everything to survive her physical pain from the corrupted bond. So, her emotional trauma was put completely on the back burner.

Colt managed a nod, before her body and mind gave in, and she began to shudder as the violent sobs escaped her mouth. Nora was gone, the beautiful little girl that she held when she sobbed over Elijah's actions, the girl who completely stole her heart as they filled their day with makeovers, and baking. The girl who had such a love of animals, Colt knew as soon as she described and shared her photographs of Solaris, that Nora would add horses into her repertoire of favourites, right beside sloths.

It suddenly hit her, she was unwittingly acting like a mother to the girl when they met, like some deeper part of her consciousness already recognised her significance. That Nora needed her protection, yet she had failed there as well, like everyone else had.

Calum, slightly startled at Colt's sudden breakdown pulled her in, as close to him as he physically could without almost suffocating her again. It was all he could do at that point, until Colt's sobs started to settle.

"Love, what is going on?" He asked.

"N.. N.. Nora, she's gone. I.. I.. I just..." Colt's voice was broken off with more sobs, and Calum pulled her in to him again.

"Shhh, it's okay, Love, I've got you," he soothed, realising she was missing the child.

After a few more minutes, Colt's sobs had subsided enough that she managed to pull back from Calum enough to not smear more snot over his top, as she attempted to regain control of herself. She was forcing herself to take deep steady breaths, that weren't really steady at all.

"She was beautiful. Full of fire, and life," Colt began, "Fiercely independent, but in desperate need of security and love," Colt breathed deeply, "She adored sloths and baking, we even adopted one from a sanctuary in South America together." Colt paused getting to the hard bit, "But she was murdered by a group of anti-shifter, human extremists, who attacked her school with automatic rifles. She was only approaching nine years old," she gulped. "Who does that? Who goes after children like that?" She questioned, flabbergasted by the cruelty of it all.

"I don't know, Love," Calum answered, "But, she sounds amazing," he ventured honestly, thinking her description reminded him of someone else as well.

Colt smiled, "I only met her once, but Elijah spoke about her a lot. Though that was another of his lies," she continued bitterly, "Elijah and his parents projected Nora as his sister to the world, not his daughter. Between his condition, and worry about how I would take it that he had fathered a child, he thought it would be safest that way. Well, that Nora would be safe from him that way."

Colt shrugged off her growing resentment towards Elijah's lies, trying to focus on the part where he was worried he would have harmed his daughter, under the influence of his mental health problems. Not, that she found any of this out first hand of course, no it was a combination of information she had acquired from her cousin Marcus, Zachary - Elijah's old beta, and eventually Elizabeth Lawrence as well, Elijah's Mom.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at Calum's confused expression, "Its a lot right?" She asked him with a humourless laugh.

"Don't get me wrong, Colt," Calum began, "Losing his daughter, gains him sympathy, aye. But, not a pardon. Though, I am sorry you lost her, I'm guessing you either had quite the attachment to her or, maybe you just haven't let yourself experience your own grief over her till now. Maybe even both?" He asked her.

Colt smiled at him, though it didn't reach her puffed up eyes, "You catch on quick, Casanova," She offered up to him, "In another life, Nora would have likely been my only chance at being a Mom as well."

This threw Calum completely off his game, "What?" He asked failing to join the dots.

Colt expected his reaction, the confusion etched across his face was probably the best emotion she had hoped he would wear, and as she began to explain, she only prayed his face wouldn't turn into one of disgust, or even regret.

"I can't have children of my own, Calum," She stated clearly, feeling like she was stabbing herself in the chest as she did so. "Which, is ironic as one of Elijah and my main arguing points, was his desire for children and my being adamant I didn't want them," She shook her head at fate. "Thing is, when I was in hospital, and I wasn't stabilising properly they ran some tests," she whimpered, "including a study of my DNA to look for any clues hidden there, as to why my heart kept failing. The doctors discovered that I was a chimera." She looked into his eyes, as he drank in all the information she was giving him.

"I am a literal blend of two sets of DNA, it happened early in my Mom's pregnancy, twin embryos merged. It is why i had to go through a double shift later in life, because my animals stayed dormant in case they killed me. The shift was excruciating, and it lasted hours. Both animals fighting for dominance at once, bones breaking, yet not setting again before the other animal broke through instead." Colt shook the painful memory away, decidedly not mentioning that it was Elijah's first betrayal that caused it, and instead changing the subject,

"Anyway, their tests also finally gave me the security, that if I did have children that they would be okay, they wouldn't be defective, like I had always felt I was." Colt pulled lightly at her the hair of her scalp for comfort before continuing, it was she was trying to ground herself slightly with the pain, "But that lasted for a whole ninety seconds, because then, the doctor explained next that I'm unlikely to be able to get pregnant, since my eggs wont have the right genetic balance to match up with another person's to be able to create a child. They are essentially overloaded already." Colt almost spat that last bit out, feeeling disgusted with herself.

Colt was now staring at the deck of the boat, afraid of what she might see if she looked into Calum's eyes. She knew from her Mom that all wildcat shifters were procreation orientated. Their species was becoming rarer and rarer, and she didn't know how Calum would take the news that it wouldn't be an option with their coupling. He was supposed to be the next chieftain of the Macgregor clan, so how could he entertain the idea of a barren mate? He couldn't, and Colt genuinely believed he shouldn't have to either. She had only known him two days, but already the bond between them was forming, and it forced her to want the best for him, yet right now, she didn't really feel like she was that option.